I feel this'll be the stance everyone on the boards will take on the subject, I mentioned that I would continue to fight for the marriage VERY early in the A so am sure she knows my feelings regarding this.
Just recently I've been so successful at GAL'ing there maybe a thought that I DON'T WANT TO RC but am possibly just mind reading.
Thanks again.
DR'ing started March 2017
Don't blow the last bridge up from fantasy island, act "as if".
After just said goodbye to the boys once WW picked them up I was called about half an hour later by her TELLING me that she will keep the boys until a certain time on Wednesday, I did everything wrong.
Mark, it's really hard to say whether you overreacted or not based on the little info you provided, was she telling you she was keeping the boys a few extra minutes, hours or an extra day or what? Was it inconveniencing you in some way or was it no big deal, but you blew up over it due to your frustration over your whole situation? I suspect it's the latter.
This is coming from someone that has been doing kid exchanges for 5 years- personally my stance on visitation is you have got to be flexible. You are BOTH going to have times where something comes up and you need to shift things around a little, or a lot. My XW and I have traded around pickup times, days and even entire weeks due to work schedules, vacation plans, etc.
If you take a hard line on handoffs then it will probably end up biting you in the butt later.
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Help! How do I move forward?
Remove your feelings from the equation. Let me tell you, there are going to be PLENTY of times where your XW is rude or indifferent towards you. My XW still flips back and forth, one week she'll be pouring her heart out to me and the next week she's the Ice Princess all over again. SO WHAT. That's her problem, not mine. That's got to be your attitude. Handle these conversations with your W like you would a business transaction.
Originally Posted By: Parkema
Just recently I've been so successful at GAL'ing there maybe a thought that I DON'T WANT TO RC but am possibly just mind reading.
All LBSs think that. Most will temperature check because of it, and they all get slapped right back down when they do.
This is coming from someone that has been doing kid exchanges for 5 years- personally my stance on visitation is you have got to be flexible. You are BOTH going to have times where something comes up and you need to shift things around a little, or a lot. My XW and I have traded around pickup times, days and even entire weeks due to work schedules, vacation plans, etc.
If you take a hard line on handoffs then it will probably end up biting you in the butt later.
OH H3LL YES! I completely agree. I think remaining flexible with the visitation schedule is very good for the children. If nothing else, it allows the children to have some control over their lives. And, I think it's important for the children to know that the parents will entertain reasonable requests and not just brush them aside and treat them like objects.
Mark, it's really hard to say whether you overreacted or not based on the little info you provided, was she telling you she was keeping the boys a few extra minutes, hours or an extra day or what? Was it inconveniencing you in some way or was it no big deal, but you blew up over it due to your frustration over your whole situation? I suspect it's the latter.
I'm sure he tried to explain that she was supposed to have them for the weekend only and then decided to keep them for several more days. Not politely asking but insisting/demanding. I find it rude. And I get why that sort of behavioir frustrates Mark. He appears to have been more friendly towards her than most others toward their cheating exes, and being stomped on a little bit more is the reward.
