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Tread #2762284 09/19/17 03:31 AM
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Don23 Offline OP
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So last night I stayed away for a bit longer. After my boxing class I hung out with a few of the other guys that train there and just shot the breeze, it was nice. My reasoning was more to stay away from the house though. I got home just about the kids bed time so I could kiss them goodnight. She seemed angry all night. She never talks about anything other than small talk so I'm not sure if she was mad that I didnt come right home and never said where I was or if she was mad about something else. I'll never know. Just thought I would share.

p.s. is there ever a good time to show my wife the 5 min video about walk away wives? It was us to a T and I feel that she may find it interesting if she knew she wasn't the only one that this happened to. I dont think i could show her, she isnt receptive to anything from me but one of her friends possibly could.


Me: 43
Wife: 37
2 Kids: (8yr old B, 5yr old G)
OM Discovered Mid Aug '17
Don23 #2762290 09/19/17 03:43 AM
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[quote=Don23] It was us to a T and I feel that she may find it interesting if she knew she wasn't the only one that this happened to. I dont think i could show her, she isnt receptive to anything from me but one of her friends possibly could.

Nope. Won't do you any good. Don, I want you to understand one thing, no video, article, book is going to snap her out of what she is going through.

I just had my three year anniversary of my separation and I am not divorced yet.

Fast your seat belt because you are in for a long, long roller coaster ride of the worst magnitude.

You cannot make anything better while she is in an A. Your goal is to not make anything worse.

Right now for you it is about gaining respect and setting boundaries.

Don23 #2762302 09/19/17 04:34 AM
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A big thing I've learned in this journey is when your w is mad, don't assume it's about you! That is a very self centered assumption. She could have broken a nail. She might have dropped $100 on the subway. Maybe she's mad about the football game. If she wants you to know, she'll tell you. Otherwise, mind your own business.


Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Gordie #2762303 09/19/17 04:34 AM
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And agree...stop thinking about showing her that video!


Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Gordie #2762333 09/19/17 06:52 AM
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Don23 Offline OP
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Thanks LH, always appreciate your responses


Me: 43
Wife: 37
2 Kids: (8yr old B, 5yr old G)
OM Discovered Mid Aug '17
Don23 #2762353 09/19/17 07:57 AM
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Originally Posted By: Don23
p.s. is there ever a good time to show my wife the 5 min video about walk away wives?


Don23,

Well before my wife and I separated, I tried to show my wife a video about walk away wives (it was one of Michelle's videos on YouTube). I don't think my wife made it through the first tens seconds of the video before she told me to get lost. I was such a dumb@ss. At least you asked about it before trying to show your wife the video. You saved yourself a lot of trouble and embarrassment.

doodler #2762369 09/19/17 09:41 AM
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yea, there is no way I would show it to her. I was curious about others experiences so thank you for that. I could see one of our mutual friends showing it to her but I'll be sure to tell them to not bother with it. Pretty much everyone in our mutual friends and family are wanting us back together. The only friend that doesn't is the one that is also going through a divorce, they are inseparable right now. Of course her new friends could care less about us too, they like the single lady. Thanks again for the advise, I figure it doesnt hurt to ask.


Me: 43
Wife: 37
2 Kids: (8yr old B, 5yr old G)
OM Discovered Mid Aug '17
Don23 #2762515 09/20/17 08:27 AM
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Ive really had a good week up until this morning. I moved back in on Saturday, have been detached since then. Only responding to texts and questions and not asking any of my own. Last night I went to bed early as I was just tired of hearing my wifes phone going off with text messages. I didn't show it though, I just took some tylenol PM, said goodnight and hit the sack figuring a new day was coming. This morning I seemed to have woke up angry. I'm not sure if Im angry with her again for what is happening or because she isn't spending any time with the kids. I get not spending time with me, she hates me but the kids getting left out of her life has been upsetting. Maybe I'm anticipating another weekend and that has me down. Anyway, I figured i would snap out of it but I really haven't. I re-read the do's and dont's again and that always helps and I'll probably do that one more time right before she gets home. It helps me put a smile on my face even if its just for show. I am very early in all of those compared to everyone else and I dont see how people can do it so long. I'm tempted to ask my wife if she would give me full custody shocked Highly doubt she would say yes and it would prob back track any progress that was made but if she did say yes I would have no problem just filing and not looking back. I'll keep my mouth shut but I just wanted this forum to know my thoughts...its my way of venting. Therapy I guess


Me: 43
Wife: 37
2 Kids: (8yr old B, 5yr old G)
OM Discovered Mid Aug '17
Don23 #2762517 09/20/17 08:39 AM
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Quote:
I re-read the do's and dont's again and that always helps and I'll probably do that one more time right before she gets home.


Do you have to be home tonight? Can you go somewhere to get out of the house for a few hours?


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
TBSakaJ9 #2762524 09/20/17 09:29 AM
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Originally Posted By: Joseph9

Do you have to be home tonight? Can you go somewhere to get out of the house for a few hours?


I only need to be here for the kid exchange. She gets home from work about 5, I go to my boxing class (530-730) and she takes the kids to the Gym since it has a daycare (6-8). I planned on staying away from the house until about 9 or so and then coming home and tucking the kids in. The kids get pretty upset if they fall asleep before I get home and if Im not there she seems to put them to bed early.


Me: 43
Wife: 37
2 Kids: (8yr old B, 5yr old G)
OM Discovered Mid Aug '17
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