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Westo Offline OP
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Thank you for the cwtch Coly!

It's lovely to hear from you right now my lovely friend. Yes its funny isn't it to leave well alone, even if all your senses tell you not to.

Leave alone! If they are to come back, they will. If not, it's not to be...

I always knew in m heart is wasn't the end......that's not to say I'm right.

But.....I still feel it in my heart and if any of you do, hang in there. Don't interfere.....it's hard, but please be strong. What will be will be.

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You are sounding good Westo. I'm glad to "hear" it. Just remember to take care of yourself first and best of luck with the upcoming procedures.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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Thank you Andrew smile

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Small update,
A week last Saturday night there was a quiet knock on my back door. It was H.
He had called in his parents on his way to work to pick up his mail and our son's had been mistakenly been sent there (his Christian name is the same as H middle name).
He had mistakenly opened it.......it was about S pension. He's only 26 so don't understand the urgency.
Anyway, he only stayed for 20 mins. I didn't really give him the chance to talk as I went on about my treatment. I couldn't have looked worse...no make up, in pjs and was totally knackered. However, on leaving he gave me a long, lovely cwtch.
I got the feeling he needed it as much as me.

Since last week his mail has been delivered here, so I texted him saying this. I was interested in his reply. He answered 'OK, I'll call to pick it up'.

When he did he just said that the redirection must have run out and he's lost track of time.

Our grand daughter (SS child) is being Christened in two weeks. We've all been invited. He says he can't attend as he's doing an annual thing that weekend. He's the H&S officer for a stage at the Wales Rally GB.

The old me would have told him he will have to attend........

Also, DIL messaged me to say that my MIL told her H called for his mail (last week) and said she wouldn't be surprised if he moves back with me.

Random......

H doesn't do things by accident. I find it hard to believe he forgot to renew the redirection.

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Westo - I'd forgotten that you were still being treated. That can be totally draining.

I know you've said this before yourself. He needs to win you back. You're not the consolation prize. You both need to be sure that he's not going off to play with the fairies again. I presume you have a plan of sorts about that? You might also want to read up on some of what Sandi2 has written here about when the "waywards" want to come back home. It's a process and not an event.

I've read so very many stories and written one too where the ending isn't the happy one that we started out looking for so am perhaps rather cynical so take my comments in that light please.

You've done fabulous though and have a lot to be proud of.

No expectations though and no mind-reading. I still haven't gotten that darned turban fixed since the cats did something embarrassing in it wink

cwtch for you ((Westo))


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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Westo Offline OP
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Hi Andrew,

I agree with you 100%. He called last night....talked endlessly about work. I kept looking at the man I love so much, but don't recognise anymore.

It's going to be a very long road with no guarantees of success.

But....I focus on me and my growth, I am at peace with myself and I have this place to thank for that.

He has an awful lot of work to do (we both do) and to be honest, I'm not looking forward to it....

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I love a good Westo update. He either switched back or let it happen. Interesting timing.

Just let him keep simmering away on the back burner while you live your life.

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Hi OwnIt,

I'm glad you like my updates! Yes, I'm doing just that......getting on with life and working on myself while I still have the time and peace to do it.

He will leave when he's ready to and I will always know I played no part in it.

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Hi Westo, glad to see an update from you and it sounds as though you are doing well.

I can recall reading here about 'waiting without waiting.' When you talk about your H, and a possible reconciliation I sense that you see it is just a matter of time.

What I want to say is that it 'may' happen and of course it may not. I think it is better to live your life as though it may not - and short of dating or ending your marriage - live life as though he is never coming back.

He may come back of course, but better to have moved solidly forward and be pleasantly surprised, than to have put things on hold and be disappointed...

Put nothing on hold for an errant spouse, would be my advice...

Xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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Hi Sotto,

I get what you're saying, but it's hard to live as if he's never coming back when I've always felt in my heart he will.

He pays all the bills. I don't believe a true WAS would. My first husband was, he never paid another bill and didn't care that D and me became homeless when the house was repossessed.

The bills being paid has always been the most important thing to me (apart from the kids) H is secondary to that.

What will be will be......

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