I will just give you some reading material to review until someone chimes in. These are just a few of my favorites that I have booked marked that help me gain a lot of perspective.
"She respects a H who won't take her b.s., and he won't put up with her crap behavior. There is no way in hades he would tolerate disrespect, betrayal, and cheating from his W. He doesn't beg & plead with a cheating W. He drops her like a hot potato if she dares to bring another man into the picture."
I think she is pretty clear with the paragraph above. What don't you understand?
Does Sandi statement mean I have to drop D papers? That's what drop her like a hot potato means to me.
Joe...has your W experienced any sort of loss since you discovered OM? What is she not getting from you that she was before? Most of what I have read tells me that the LBS has to take some sort of pro-active action to let the WW know they are not messing around.
For me my W has already moved out, for the most part is on her own financially, she is taking care of the kids by herself so the only pro-active action I could take at this point in time would be to file for D myself (outside of working on myself).
I have read where some WW have woke up when the husband exposed the affair, some woke up when he packed her bags and kicked her out, some woke up when the LBS served the papers etc. I don't know that I have read a sitch where the LBS just GAL'd, detached, etc. and the WW just chose to come back. I am sure the stories are out there but when OM is involved I don't think I have ran across 1.
The general thought though is that you file for D when you want it, do not use it as a method to get them back.
As far as the links go, right click on the posters name and sort by view posts and you can read through when they have written.
I only share to give you different perspectives on things, just know that some folks and their posts might be more controversial than others. I just share so you can be exposed to all the advice that has been giving on this site throughout the years.
JoeJoe, is this weekend still good for you? I'm free on Saturday if you want to meet up in SA. Early afternoon or evening would probably be best for me. Looks like it'll be just you and me unless TxHubby pops in.
Me-47,XW-43 S13,S16 M:18 BD:4-23-17 W filed:7-17-17 (5 months of in-house separation hell) W moved out:1-6-18 D granted:2-15-18 Decree signed:3-29-18
This Saturday. I told her to get her sh@t and get out. She refused to leave. I told her she had two choices, stop talking to him and stay or keep talking to him and leave.
She sent him a message right in front of me.
The next day she told me she was happy I caught what she was doing, so she can now focus on what she needs too. I told her and meant it and she could tell. I wanted her out. She fought leaving.
From what I can tell so far she hasn't talk to him since.
I'm prepared to start the D process if need be.
Also, I see doing the reading that each person that has woken up their WS was after D papers was dropped.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
Ok, so now that you gave her a choice and she choose to stay and stop talking to him where do you currently stand? Is she willing to work on the MR and be 100% committed?
