25, I wasn't suggesting that my battle strategies WRT Mr. Fantastic were transferable or what you should be doing. My ex is a lot younger than your ex, and his parents are still married to each other. His grandfathers were both cheaters and there was a lot of blowback in the family before I found out what a liar Mr. F is, so I think I'd get some traction with the in-laws if I'd had to go scorched earth. To care for my kids, though, I would have. Also, my in-laws still send me Christmas presents, so they're still receptive to me. And my FIL and his brothers-in-law (childhood friends) would have come down HARD on Mr. F for not supporting his family. Not to mention his new boss that we'd moved to MD for, who Mr. Fantastic even said in a moment of clarity would not have looked kindly on his behavior at all.

I only said I knew what I would do if I'd had to, and that would have been Plan A. Plan B involved moving down to my parents' house, which would have been awful but better than homeless on the streets. Thankfully, it didn't come to that. Mr. Fantastic is not as b@llsy as Dr. Alaska.

My friend did turn to her former in-laws for help when her twin sons graduated high school and she had no means to send them to college. They turned her down. THEN she would have accepted $50 with gratitude. NOW she'd light it on fire. It's a shame.

I enjoy hearing from you but I'm not so sure it's great for you to post very often. Your H is behaving as badly as T's and you keep coming back to how badly it's burning you up. I understand why and agree with you. But I worry that you're at risk of being stuck in your anger because the process is stalled at the moment. Give it some thought?

PS the FB post was a hint about how to find me...

Just keep swimming, 25, and think of it like the years your kids were potty-training. Each of those days seemed gross and endless and exhausting, and I personally got through them by remembering always that the kids would not go to kindergarten still pooping their pants. This is the same thing. There will be an after. Whether that after comes with $50k of money or $300k of money is really only somewhat important. What's important is that it will come WITHOUT Dr. Alaska, you will have a self-made future, your kids, your family, and ultimately, useful work that you love. Keep your eye on that prize and try to find a strategy for releasing the injustice of the present.

All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.




http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2763498#Post2763498

Last edited by Cadet; 09/28/17 12:21 AM. Reason: link

Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.