Now go away or I will taunt you a second time

[Irish M]

Happy belated Birthday :-)


stay strong

[Sotto]

Many happy returns!! Xx

[Coly23]

Happy belated birthday! X

[LoisB]

Thanks Everyone!!

We have two birthdays in one week, so it's always a birthday week vs. a one-day event-plus, youngest daughter got her dog on her birthday 8 years ago-so we celebrate the dog's birthday. This year was pretty epic. May have been my best birthday ever.

Have a date with a really handsome guy, an old fling popped up and invited me for a weekend... a hike in the mountains, ate downtown at two awesome restaurants... JUST SO MUCH FUN.

The marathon used to end with exH's bday the first week in Sept. This year, though, was the first year I didn't miss having the marathon of birthdays. Didn't even think much about his--and when I did-there weren't those pangs of sadness.

Felt some sadness after the attention from him, but more because of the reality of how down the sinkhole he is... and, the reality that he's so far out of it... it would take years to catch up. I think part of what makes him coming to appealing is the idea of having help with the girls and life... but, the reality is... even clean, he couldn't be any help for a long time. That's just sad.

Finishing things today with a party with neighbors. Picked up the cake and it's beautiful. I'm going to try to get some work in today, because this week was so distracting.

Haven't heard anything from him in a day or so.

Have a date tomorrow.

Mom is slowly coming to, and I filled her in on all the gossip she missed-she loves gossip--when I told her about Matt--she said:

Mom: "How is he?"
Me: "Really Sad."
Mom: "Aw. That's too bad... Oh well-f--- him. He's an a-hole. He got in his own way."

Even with a traumatic brain injury, Mom was super clear about Matt!

Hope everyone has a GREAT Labor DAY!!!

[LoisB]

Ol' What's his Name is still around.

Asked if he could call me yesterday, his birthday. Had a flashback to when I was 12, and I was gesturing to my dad--"Don't tell him I'm home." My dad, of course, ignored me.

He opened the conversation by saying, "Hi Mrs. XXXXX."

Then, went on and on about some incredibly boring work stuff. Sounded really nervous. Says he is working on himself, and going to A.A. Has a plan to move into his own apartment in OHIO and come visit us in December. This is all HIM, mind you. Insists it's over with OW and she is psycho and he wasn't dumped.

I was honest that I felt strange talking to him--when he asked why, and said, "It's just me." I replied, "Well, it's like being mauled by a Grizzly Bear, and the Grizz asking a few years later, 'Hey? Can I call you sometime?"

I was clear that the jury was still out. We need to see action, not just hear it--seems like he is actually focused on action--feels different. Sounds like the guy I used to know. And, I don't feel as much nervous energy, like I have to watch him like a hawk. Hasn't talked to him toxic mother since May.

However, I told him, even if we agree to a visit in December, that doesn't mean a shotgun won't be locked and loaded in case the Grizz comes out to play.

Taking this a day-at-a-time. More like an hour-atta-time.

In other news: My insane MIL just showed at the hospital to talk to my mom. Just showed up. Crazy B-t--. Hasn't acknowledged our children in YEARS. Shows up for my mother. Drama queen--would hate to miss any soap opera.

Another day watching the circus from eight hours away.

[LoisB]

P.S. Haven't asked about OW. He is offering. Newbies, take note, you get to a place where they are just some ho that happened to be in the right place at the right time--nothing more than something to do and distract. She is of no importance. Almost feel sad for her. Almost.

[bttrfly]

snookie you are doing so well! are you going to alanon? xoxoxo

[LoisB]

Hey Butterfly :-) Back atcha!

I need a meeting. I work a fairly rigorous D.A. program, but could stand to at least phone into an Alanon meeting right now. When he's not in my face, it's so much easier to just work on me. Have been listening to my Audible Codependency book... Melody's latest.

It's funny a much-loved neighbor is from our local Alanon mtg. God's way of reminding me... wink, wink, nudge, nudge...

While I am working to focus on myself and my mom, business, kids, life, etc... It hasn't escaped me that I always suspected this MLC had something to do with my former MIL. Almost as if ol' what's his name needed to push the limits to the very edge, to see if our love was conditional like his mothers. Interesting to me that he cuts her from his life, and slowly moves in our direction. Plus, I also know OW has many similar qualities to his mom... unstable, angry, extremely controlling, needy, depressed...

Anyway... just got me thinking. Back to my own life now.

[kml]

Be careful - it's not unusual for the WAS to turn up like a bad penny when things are going badly with their relationship with the OP; then deny they meant or said any of it when the OP reels them back in.

I hope, for the girls' sake, that he's truly done with OW and gets sober. But I wouldn't put any of your own GAL and dating on hold.

[LoisB]

Thanks Ellie,

I'm already bracing myself and the girls. ZERO EXPECTATIONS. Oldest is currently taking a break from him. She was the only one he was talking to for the past 1+ years.

He is still not invited here. Taking this at a snail's pace. I'm still on my dating app, still talking to other guys. Have an evening planned with some girlfriends on Weds. evening at the champagne bookstore. Youngest and I are going on a historical tour tomorrow.

Plus, I have a business that's growing and needs my attention. God is protecting us by keeping him far away. If he gets it together, great... if not, already have my life on a charted course without him. It's always sad though.