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Glenn82,

H3ll yes you should go!

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Do whatever YOU want to do.

Don't go or not go as a tactic,
this is a marathon not a sprint.

No one thing that you do or don't do is going to
make or break this marriage right now.

Everything you do should be in YOUR best interest and what YOU want.


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Unless you have an abusive situation or serious drama going on, don't miss time with your child because of your WAW/WW.


Just keep swimming
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If you feel "safe" meeting in-laws (nothing abusive etc on their side), then think about it as a celebration of your kid and that your presence will be highly appreciated.

I have already been struggling with how to behave when I will get the same kind of invitation when my D will celebraste her birthday (October). That I don't want to go and pretend to be a happy family etc. But that it would be something I will do for D, not W.

But do think about it and try not to make a desicion based on emotions. Just think it through a couple of times first and you will find the right answer for you.


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Glenn82 Offline OP
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Hello overhere,


The holiday was great. Exept that my oldest developed oritis on her right ear after some days. Nevertheless I informed Elise and the following days she textmessaged and called for our daughter several times. Offcourse the topic is not "us" but our children.

When I was at Mallorca she wasn't home and was with OM (I rather call him OB because in my opinion he is just a Boy).

She asked at wich time I would return. But I didn't not reply very fast. When I was home with the kids, she was home but allready a sleep.

The last three days she stays again in the evening at home. Probably because the kids are again home.

Till today she didn't not greed of spoke against me. That is one of the difficulties. I can only speak to my children and not to an adult one at home.


The school started today in Belgium. And she texted me that everything was ok when leaving the kids behind.

She has been "fatted" alot and also some teachers noticed it, those who know of the situation.

One of the "good" news is that OM/OB does not work any more over there since this week.
The nerd has a contract as a seller somewhere else for three months, nevertheless in the neighbourhood. He has no real nice salesman clothes, so she took a day off to get shopping together.
He would also work in the weekens every two weeks.

In the past he started two different studies, but he never finished it. I heard he will study again also...


Tomorrow Elise decided to celibrate our boy's birthday with my family-in-law. Like I said otherwise I don't have the need to celebrate it again. So I go out for hiking and sauna afterwards.
I want soms time alone after being in Mallorca with three kids all alone.

She stil is always texting like crazy. She did not see the kids for 14 days for the first because on holiday with me. And when the kids where telling their adventures overthere, she is still texting with him. I find that very awfull for them and I don't recognize Elise her old behaviour here in.

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Glenn82 Offline OP
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Sorry too doodler, cadet, eastn and swhubby because I didn't not see their replies before the posting of the latest text of me.

It is not really a tactic. I spend a lot of quality time with the kids last weeks on holiday. But also it took a lot of energy out of me. So I want some time for myself tomorrow. Like I said I allready celebrate his birthday.

Trying to save your marriage is indeed a real marathon and not a sprint...

I don't have an abusive situation or serious drama going on. At this point that never happened. Very strange, not?

I feels very save to meet my in-laws because they love me, that is also not the problem. Nevertheless my absence will probably not be appreciated...
I told my kids I don't will be there and they understand. Funnny they want to know where I go hiking and go to the sauna smile
Elise doesn't know that I don't go. I am leaving tomorrow in the early morning. Time for myself.

@SwHubby: I have indeed the same feeling and struggling. I don't want to pretend that nothing has changed.

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Glenn82 Offline OP
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The 14 days of holiday look like weeks/monts on a positive way.
The last day I realised that on reality only 14 days where passed away and that the "situation" would not be changed.

Another very difficulty is the fact, that I don't want to be ignore her. But if she is saying nothing in in each presence. It is not me to start a conversation. Must I try to good do this or not. I find it very difficult. Normally I am so social that I never walk out of words, but now. Or is it good to have some "no contact" like I read on other websites.
I would be shut down very quickly. Nevertheless I act am allways busy. What is also true, running a household now.

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Glenn82 Offline OP
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Hello here,

Monday she was home before me and started cooking.
Yesterday she was home lately after work, I didn't initiate to cook. After being home she was a little bit of a "roaring bull", probably dinner was not yet ready.
When at the table I put down het phone backside for not seen the picture of her and OM/OB. Again she acted like a "roaring bull" but saying nothing at all.
Later that evening I texted that I would bring the kids too school this morning, normally her "job".
This morning I told the kids to jump into my car, she said are your really kidding? And acted again like a " roaring bull".
My boy and oldest said the want to go with me and the middle one with mom on their own. Finally it was "ok" her for her.

Nevertheless I just received an invention of her advocate for a divorce in consultation otherwise it would brought at court

A new phase in my story ...

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