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Coconut - that is amazing. The second best post I've seen after TxHubby's sitch and not counting Sandi's comments. Very eye opening for all our sitch's.


No one is coming to save you!

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Bittersweet, proud moment today. Dropped S18 off at collegend for his first year. Despite his problems (mild reading impediment, anxiety disorder) and ours, he's really soared. Will be studying engineering at a top university, and, more importantly, he's just grown up to be a really good person. We ended up raising a really good kid. Gonna miss the heck outta him. Blessed.


H53/W51, R-ing 4/'18

"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires"-Sg.of Sg 2:7

"So oftentimes it happens,that we live our lives in chains, & we never even know we have the key"-Eagles III 1:3
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That's great Jim, there really is nothing like seeing your child being successful at reaching milestones while going after their dreams..

I started writing my son letters after I moved away, honest to goodness hand written letters. It really helps me feel like I'm staying connected with him, allows me to tell him what's going on in my life, my families life and how proud I am of him, without putting any pressure on him to respond. He's mentioned a couple of times how much he enjoys getting the letters.


M - 9 1/2 years
5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA
10/31/16 - We sold house
01/10/18 - D Finalized
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Hey Jim, just stopping by to see how things are going.


M - 9 1/2 years
5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA
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Crappy. I really need to get out of here for a few days. Thought S18 off to college would free me up to do that. Now S16, who has pretty profound Tourette's, almost to the point of seeming autistic sometimes, is at that point again, with school and new counseling starting for him next week. So don't really want to up and walk out, here.

Been hitting gym a little more, listening to a lot of old online sermons from my newly adopted church-- really really helps me when I do that. Keeps me in a much better frame of mind, and looking "forward." My faith has been an ongoing and very important source of support for me.

Meanwhile, W keeps cozying up to me... she is literally doing nothing wrong right now, and keeps seeming gradually "warmer" almost every day. Was going out of her way to joke with me and cheer me up when I was a bit down for a couple of hours after dropping off S18 at school. Reminded me a lot of the person she was at 24 when we met. But I can't trust it and I know I can't trust it.

If kid gets leveled by Saturday/Sunday, I will likely try to pile my gear in the car and get out of dodge for at least a week. I know a few places to camp where I could still have access to a shower and get in to work a couple of days I am gone (I am way short of leave right now and can't just punt work for an entire week). Don't want to bug out on the kid right now, though. He's in a rough spot. Pretty sure his brother going off to school is weighing on him... they were very close and he REALLY looked up to an idolized him. Lost his brother (at least as a constant real-time presence) and his dog (his best friend) within past 2 1/2 months. We'll get him leveled out... we always do, but this one may take a bit of doing since he has been out of counseling for nearly 6 months and has backslid a lot.


H53/W51, R-ing 4/'18

"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires"-Sg.of Sg 2:7

"So oftentimes it happens,that we live our lives in chains, & we never even know we have the key"-Eagles III 1:3
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Oh, and, just so I can keep everyone here frustrated with me since I am not supposed to be worried about such things (but, honestly, this I had to share): Toxic bff may be moving out of state. Like far, far away out of state. This I find out just the day after listening to an online sermon the message of which was "Take care of yourself and YOUR issues and YOUR faith, God will fight the battles FOR you." (Or something like that).

Lord moves in mysterious ways. Sending up more prayers on this one... smile


H53/W51, R-ing 4/'18

"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires"-Sg.of Sg 2:7

"So oftentimes it happens,that we live our lives in chains, & we never even know we have the key"-Eagles III 1:3
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Quote:
Toxic bff may be moving out of state. Like far, far away out of state. T


That would be fantastic! Although she and your W would probably communicate by phone and email........hopefully, it would taper off. If your W won't try to go spend weekends or have vacations with the BFF, this could definitely be a plus.


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Quote:
That would be fantastic! Although she and your W would probably communicate by phone and email........hopefully, it would taper off. If your W won't try to go spend weekends or have vacations with the BFF, this could definitely be a plus.


It would certainly temper if not completely remove a dynamic that is unquestionably a net "negative" for my sitch. It's also thrown my W into another semi-depressive state. Just removing negatives, however, is not going to "fix things."

I have felt reinvigorated the past 24-plus hours. Skipped church for two weeks in a row but "caught up" by listening to podcasts of the sermons past two days at gym. I really think its important (at least for me anyways) to have your thinking/perspective readjusted once a week, and church is my way of doing that. Coming to grips with the possibility of being on my own-- have wonderful kids despite their troubles, friends and family that love me... a lot of blessings to be thankful for and lots ahead of me with or without my W.

Last edited by Cadet; 08/23/17 09:08 AM. Reason: as requested

H53/W51, R-ing 4/'18

"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires"-Sg.of Sg 2:7

"So oftentimes it happens,that we live our lives in chains, & we never even know we have the key"-Eagles III 1:3
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Speaking from experience my W bff egged her on the whole time. From phone records W contacted the bff right before contacting OM. As if she was getting the green light before doing so. When W lost her bff due to a move up north. W waa sad and I was happy. But they still run their mouths on the phone all the time.

Funny part is that prior to the A, bff was not dependable. Wouldn't return W phone calls for days and wouldn't even hang out that much over the years. W started the A and now they're closer and in constant communication.


MR: 15 T:17
Me: 37 W: 34
S14
BD/PA/EA: 12/2016
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Speaking from experience my W bff egged her on the whole time. From phone records W contacted the bff right before contacting OM. As if she was getting the green light before doing so. When W lost her bff due to a move up north. W waa sad and I was happy. But they still run their mouths on the phone all the time.

Funny part is that prior to the A, bff was not dependable. Wouldn't return W phone calls for days and wouldn't even hang out that much over the years. W started the A and now they're closer and in constant communication.


MR: 15 T:17
Me: 37 W: 34
S14
BD/PA/EA: 12/2016
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