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So did he finally admit he and Bubbles had something going? I thought she was still married and this was platonic. His loss, your gain. He'll get there. I love that you are giving us the moving on example.

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ciluzen Offline OP
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Thank you all for the support, insights into online dating and for telling me I'm fabulous. We all need to hear that once in awhile. You all are fabulous, too.

Well, this fabulous lady is learning so much about online dating...my brain is full. Who knew? I'm actually going to meet a man 15 years my senior for a brew tonight. Mostly just because I was intrigued. He has two daughters that are the same ages as mine, with the oldest having gotten married the week after my oldest. I'm not even really all that excited...just interested in meeting a new person. One beer...and maybe some fries. I'm going to push for Dutch.

Peacetoday, I'm feeling I should just give this dating thing a try. When my master's program starts up again next month, my time will be limited. I'm hoping it helps me detach a bit. I love my girl friends, but I have almost no men in my life. The guy friends were XH's friends or their husbands.That's an imbalance I need to correct. Right now I have two other guys I've been talking to...just talking. I've already become an "ignorer" to quite a few. I've also gotten very picky in the past two days...I just signed up Friday.

KML, the young guys (a 23 year old today...seriously!) have been kind of creepy. Not interested in being a cougar, their mommy, or a friend to them. I DO want to wash a few of their mouths out with soap. Yes, I do look good in heels and a short skirt, but no, you don't start out your introduction to me with what I should wear and do. Sheesh.

I spoke with XH today. Its just easy and comfortable, but irritating. He refers to changes at the river house now as "we've" moved such and such or "we've" done this and that. It used to be him saying "I". I was tempted to ask who "we" is. But didn't. We did nail down a time to bring my mom in to see him. I can't wait for this. Its all become like a show to watch. And then we go back again 5 days later.


M-51 H-54
2D-27 and 25
M-26 yrs
Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15
He moved out 10-3-15
D filed 1-27-16
D final 10-27-16

Kindness, kindness, kindness.
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Fabulous!!! Keep it up. Let us know how it goes.

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ciluzen Offline OP
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Gettin' ready to go. I will do the check in tomorrow...promise. And no...still just platonic, apparently. He has the week off, which means the river house is full of people. But he is speaking of Bubbles and maaaaayyyyy-be her family when he speaks of we. There is more to our convo today, but not sure what to make of it. I'll add that. Goin' Out Tonight!


M-51 H-54
2D-27 and 25
M-26 yrs
Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15
He moved out 10-3-15
D filed 1-27-16
D final 10-27-16

Kindness, kindness, kindness.
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Gettin' ready to go. I will do the check in tomorrow...promise. And no...still just platonic, apparently. He has the week off, which means the river house is full of people. But he is speaking of Bubbles and maaaaayyyyy-be her family when he speaks of we. There is more to our convo today, but not sure what to make of it. I'll add that. Goin' Out Tonight!


M-51 H-54
2D-27 and 25
M-26 yrs
Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15
He moved out 10-3-15
D filed 1-27-16
D final 10-27-16

Kindness, kindness, kindness.
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Enjoy the male company. There's a lot to be said for just having some conversation with a member of the opposite sex, smelling some pheromones and feeling desirable.

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have fun. stay safe. xoxoxo


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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Hope you had a nice evening Cil - and yes I would echo the safety aspect. That's one I never ever cut corners on...

I went out for coffee with a guy recently and we had a pleasant chat for a couple of hours. He was very nice company and I didn't feel any spark of attraction, but I was glad to break the ice and have a little male company..

Relax and enjoy xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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Ok! First date in 28 years down, how many more to go? Here's the good parts:

1) I got there early and got my own beer, recommended by the server. It was a nice new brewery and he was knowledgable and good to talk to as I sat at the bar.
2) I wasn't nervous. This dawned on me as I sat there and people-watched. I had a "look how far you've come" moment as I realized that 28 years ago, or even 3 years ago, I would have been almost paralytically nervous just at the thought of walking into a room of people alone. Yes, my shyness and social anxiety was that bad.
3) My date showed up and seemed pretty nervous and eager to make a good impression. I tried to keep it light and positive. It was fun and we talked for two hours. Yes, I nursed a 16oz IPA for two hours.

The not-so-good:
1) He seemed to have memorized my profile and kept referring to things I had written and that they attracted him. I mean, instead of just discussing the subject matter, he would say, "you wrote such-and-such and I thought that was cool". Over and over. As if he was dating a profile not getting to know a person.
2) He was very excited that I "hinted" throughout my profile that I had an open mind. He thought that was good. I got the overwhelming impression from him that he hated to try anything different.
3) As it was getting later, he wanted me to know his whole marriage history...that he met and slept with his first wife on their first date and was married within the month. The marriage lasted 14 years. Same pattern with the second wife. He then told me he was 65 and that this was his last chance. Ummmm...10 points for being honest?
4) At the 2hr point, I told him I thought it was time for me to go, smiled, thanked him for a nice time, told him I enjoyed meeting him, etc, etc. and left. We were in a corner area and there was a side door and a front door. I walked to the front and he walked out the side.
5) He never suggested we eat nor did he offer to walk me to the door or my car. We met at 6pm and left at 8pm.
6) He wrote to me later and apologized for my obvious discomfort (I wasn't really) and when I wrote back to say that, he told me that was the most abrupt exit in 15 years of dating. Ok. Yeah, maybe it was. It wouldn't have been if he'd walked with me to the door or car.

My takeaway? I think I will still just do coffee or a beer. I think I will talk a bit longer before I go out with someone. I will be sticking to my age boundaries (I was being generous with 10 years older and younger and he exceeded the higher limit by 5 years). I'm going to be picky. I need to stick with what I want in a person...and intelligence, confidence and authenticity are a must now. Its what I'm striving for in me and its what I will need to see in him. I thought I had that in XH...but it was the masked lack of confidence and self worth which eventually peeked through and led to our marriage breakdown (at least from his side).

I went home, ate dinner, and resumed talking to a biologist that seems pretty interesting, funny, intelligent and sweet. He's a self-described nerd...I think I'm kind of nerdy, too. He's closer to my age as well. No hurry. Glad I got a first date out of my system and that I chose someone that I had no expectations about. Much more relaxed now.


M-51 H-54
2D-27 and 25
M-26 yrs
Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15
He moved out 10-3-15
D filed 1-27-16
D final 10-27-16

Kindness, kindness, kindness.
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Good for being able to spot both sides and not being intimidated.

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