From the other side of the mountain (pt.8)

[bttrfly]

Stay safe SBJ. I've spent the last three days working to get people licensed so we can deploy a team to TX to help people recover from this devastation. I'll keep you and everyone else in TX in my prayers. xoxoxo

[SBJ]

JOURNALING:
Most of the water has finally seceded from our area and now, instead of rescuing people from their flooding homes, we are now helping friends, family and church family clear our their homes and demo what needs to be torn out so they can rebuild what they have lost. Many of these people didn't have flood insurance because they were not in a flood plain...but with 50 inches of water in 3 days anywhere was a flood plain.

The last 2 days I have assisted close friends clear out everything they own and put it in garbage bags and piles on the street so that the trucks can come haul it off. Imagine everything you have worked your entire lives to build and attain being piled up in large moldy and mildew covered messes.

One of the friends is also a LBS and his MLC'er who divorced him 1.5 years ago was right in the middle of all of his house clean up. He is the typical nice-guy ans seems to have been getting the totally wrong signals. She was treating him with such disrespect, and either bossing him around or arguing with him about things. She is definitely the angry MLC'er, whereas mine is the nice and friendly type. Either way, it seems that this devastation has pushed her even deeper in the rabbit hole.

If anyone decides to donate to the Harvey Relief cause, please make sure you donate to a place that the money will actually be used for relief. The Red Cross down here has been a total joke, so I can honestly say that your money would not be used properly.

God bless each and every one of you...May you all have a wonderful day!!!

[AndrewP]

SBJ - Glad to hear that you are Thriving despite the devastation around you.

I'm completely unsurprised to hear how you are pitching in to help your community. That's what good people do.

[roist]

Good on you, SbJ
Best wishes

[roist]

I am glad you are at a place where you don't need to post in your thread as often. That is often a good sign. I hope that is the case.

Your mud run must be close now. Can't wait to hear about it.

Best wishes

[SBJ]

Thanks roist...it is funny that you posted that, but I do (most of the time) feel that I am in a much better place. That being said, I just got off of the phone with the XW talking about my son's bday that is coming up. She mentioned that he wanted to have a party with family and one with friends. We discussed what he wanted to do regarding the friends, then family and then she hesitated. She is not wanting to be anywhere near my parents because of how "They treated her". She said that she didn't want them to upset my kids.

I simply said that we would give all of the grandparents, aunts and uncles the same invite and they could decide if they wanted to attend or not, and then told her that this is about his bday and not about anyone else. It still amazes me that she thinks that everyone should be ok with her decisions. I know that it's a symptom of her reality now, but it is odd. (Everyone should be ok with a wife and a mother totally destroying her family just because she needs to find more passion in her life.) WOW!

JOURNALING
Spent 3 days in the Big Easy with family and had a blast. We drank, ate, drank, walked drank, and then did the Pats/Saints game. One of my boys is a huge Pat's fan. Each time they are close we try and go to the game. It is getting pretty darned expensive, but it is a good time.

As for the mud run, it has been postponed. A couple of reasons...my shoulder is bothering me pretty bad. I have been trying to work thru the discomfort, but my PT buddy has said that I might want to go see a sports doc about it. Any type of push/pull/rotating movement is killing me. I am ready to not hurt...both physically and mentally (haha). The other reason is the place we were doing it was hit by Hurricane Harvey and they haven't decided if it was going to happen. If it does, I might try and at least go root on my buds. If it doesn't I will spent the weekend in the woods stalking Bambi (sorry if that offends anyone, but I am a Texan and we hunt).

[bttrfly]

YES! Another Pats fan!!!!

Re your ex - I'm always struck by how much the universe revolves around them - "how they treated me"

How about how she treated everyone else? No responsibility. No awareness. My teen is more mature than most of these MLCrs.

Good for you for setting her straight. It is about your son and it's up to the family who comes and who doesn't. She is also free to stay away. Sorry, SBJ. Just hit a nerve I guess.

Do get that shoulder checked with an ortho/sports doc. We got the results on my son and the news was good, no tears, but he does have to do some rigorous PT. He's not happy about it but shoulders are nothing to fool with!

xoxo

[SBJ]

bttrfly...he is a huge Pat's fan. I am sure that it is because they have been winning most of his life. It was a great game and while most of the Pat's fans we come into contact with are great, we had one extremely drunk guy try and jump into our cab with us. He spilled his drink all over my brother and my son. Since I have a short fuse to stupidity, I immediately ripped him out of the cab and left him on the side of the road. My brother and son simply laughed at my little scuffle. It [censored] to have one bad apple spoil the bunch. Other than that one knucklehead, we had a blast and me many cool peeps.

As for the selfishness that our MLC'ers experience, it is totally all about them. Maybe in some cases everything has always been about them, but this is the extreme.

It is funny how I have felt a small amount of relief since I have stopped trying to fix it. I have come to realize that I have always been the pursuer, or at least I have been for a couple of decades. I don't know why, but that is the way it ended up. It has just been a kind of relief not trying to make it work, or make someone happy, or make someone understand something, etc.

Don't get me wrong, I still miss who she was, and I miss the closeness and the friendship. I think that we as humans are meant to love and be social. That is why it is good when we GAL and mingle with friends. Even though that is good, it is still hard sometimes going home and not having that one person that we have confided in for so long. That one person that has been our partner in life. That one person that we felt was ours to love forever. At times I see glimpses of her when we talk, but it is odd when I see her drive off like this is normal.

Anyway, sorry for the ramble. Cowboys vs Pats Super Bowl would do me right.

[Gordie]

SBJ,

Interesting comments about selfishness and pursuing and yet still missing that companionship. I relate to all three.

Glad you enjoyed the game and glad you took care of the drunk guy. Pretty annoying at the time but now you have a good story to tell.

How did you finally drop the rope?

[SBJ]

Gord,

re. selfishness/pursuit/companionship. She has been with me for 26+ years and I have not known an adult life without her. I guess like several of the guys have said on here, we might have been trying to make them or turn them into the person that we feel we need. I don't really know. I know that every relationship seems to cycle and at times during our M she was more loving and caring than at others. When she wasn't I guess I was that pursuing type that tried to keep things moving since we are the fixers.

re. the drunk guy...I can't stand it when people let themselves get so slobbering drunk that they endanger themselves and others. This guy was obviously that guy. He jumped into a cab with 4 grown ass men that could have mopped the floor with him and he didn't see the problem. My son and brother handled themselves well since they got drenched and I lost my cool because he messed with my family. I'm the one that it takes alot to tip over the edge, but when pushed it is not pretty. Unfortunately a similar incident happened many years ago at another sporting event when someone pushed my father...I came unglued.

re. the Rope Drop...I think it is more just realizing that she is out of my control and really never has been in my control. I guess it is also emulating what some of the guys on here have done (Cali, Irish, roist) with regard to how they handle their spouses. I'm trying to make the best out of a $#!tty shituation.