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Originally Posted By: Painter
I have had personal experiences with involuntary channeling - messages from people who have passed over - but I can't control it.


Painter,

I'm sorry, I didn't realize this was a hot-button topic. I shouldn't have a closed-mind because I've actually experienced involuntary channeling myself. When my XW pushes my buttons I'll often channel a dead sailor. As hard as I try to suppress it, the dead sailor has to say his piece before he can calmly cross over.

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Just got back from a road trip today to see some pretty fantastic friends wink

Thank you for all your well wishes. I Got my MRI results and the doctor was right. There is an ACL tear with the addition of a meniscus tear. I've really just begun processing and I've been crying. I know it isn't life threatening, but on so many levels, this is a sucky thing to happen to me. I can detail why, but I won't. It's just super depressing and very hard to deal with right now physically and emotionally. The shocking part is my ex is almost empathetic and will be there to help with D9. The problem will be getting someone to help with me.

As far as the psychic this is the third one I have ever been to. I am of course a skeptic. I went to one when I fist got separated, then I saw one last year at a friend who had a "psychic party". I was so desperate at bomb drop for answers and I was friendly with a woman in the lab in the hospital I worked at and she and her H went through something similar and reconciled and her psychic predicted it. So I ran there fast, haha! She seemed pretty legit, but she was wrong. I still have the cassette tape of the recorded session. Just no cassette player, haha. Second one was pretty off. This one was the most spot on. Heck, I hope she is right. ANd I am certainly going to take into consideration what she said.

And the OLD. I left him my cell phone number, he replied on match with a short email and left me his. I didn't go first though and he sent me a quick text last night. I sent the last one and haven't hear since, but whatever. We will see. I feel useless now to even date anyone anyways.

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When it rains it pours! That date FF had to the wedding is his GF. His sister posted pics from a christening and yup, definitely dating. I had my friend check something out, so while I was already really down, I could just take it all at once. my friend is still friends on FB with him. On Friday the GF posted a pic of them from the wedding back in june.

They were keeping it under wraps for a while I guess. It was painful to see. Good news for him is, everyone who comes after me is usually "the one".

I could have never contended with a 23 year old who is good friends with the family, his sister, and is the babysitter to his nephew. I honestly wish I never met him. We should have never happened. He's known her a while, she should have just went there first.

About my need to see how much pain I can tolerate. I feel like the universe keeps doing it for me, so I really don't need to do it for myself.

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Ginger,

I am really glad you went out of town. You looked happy and relaxed in the photo w/your friends. Hopefully you can get more of these road trips planned for the rest of the summer.

I am also glad that your xh is going to help out w/your daughter. I know you are happy about that and yet, you need someone to help you out a bit too. I hope your friends will step up to the plate and help you.

I am so sorry about your injury. This really sxcks for you. Did your doctor say how long it will take for that to heal or will you require surgery?

As for the jerk of a FF, leave him in the dust. He doesn't deserve you. He hasn't grown up enough to realize what real love and companionship are all about. The right guy will come along when you least expect him to appear.

Please take care of yourself.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Ginger,

There's a line in the movie "La La Land":

"I'm letting life hit me until it gets tired. Then I'll hit back. It's a classic rope-a-dope."

I don't have any words of wisdom, but I thought that was a good quote.

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Thank JOb, I really did have a wonderful time and I was happy and relaxed. I didn't realize how close I was to you! What a lovely area it was. I could see myself living the country life!

I will need surgery. That is going to be tough. I'll be out of work for a few weeks. I'll find out details Wednesday.

I decided to be an idiot and look at the GF's FB page and her new profile picture is og them hugging at the wedding with everyone's comments of a what a beautiful couple. How long has this been going on for?

It hurt soooooo badly to see it. I shouldn't have done it. Every single relationship I don't get much time to heal before I have to see see them with their significant other and it hurts every single time very badly. So I took the step to block him, block his gf and unfollow his sister. I need to protect my sanity. Everytime I get my crap together something sets me back.
With the injury, I wasn't in the mindset to find this out. I also made the mistake last night of texting his telling him I didn't know he has a girlfriend, else I wouldn't have sent that last text, even though it was meant as funny and friendly, out of respect. I wished them luck, and I told him looks like he found exactly what he was looking for.

Passive aggressive, I know. I had a backslide. I haven't had any backslides post DB with the guys I have dated. So I am letting myself off the hook for this one.

Of course he didn't respond. I did not expect him to. He fully moved and fast, of course.

Job, I am not expecting anyone anymore, unfortunately.

This is just too much for me at once right now.

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((( Ginger )))

UGH!!

I WAS going to tell you to stop torturing yourself and I WAS going to tell you to protect yourself from more self inflicted second-guessing-the-past pain

but you know this^^^. And I'm damn sorry you're hurting.

I'm making a scoffing noise at FF now, & I don't know what emoji would go for that, but

smh and scoffing at him some more.

Oh, and this, too

cry


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
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[quote=Painter]Ginger, that sounds like a profound reading you had. I hope it was helpful and that you can continue to process all the wonderful input you received.

Doodler, this is by it's nature a field that is wide open to frauds, but there are genuine people who also do very valuable work, especially with people in deep grief. I have had personal experiences with involuntary channeling - messages from people who have passed over - but I can't control it.

I've had strange experiences all my life, but I'm a big skeptic so I've never really believed it. During the last 15 years, I've had a number of experiences I just couldn't brush off anymore.

My personal view is that it's nothing supernatural about it, it's just that science hasn't figured out yet what happens and how it works.


I get this^^^. Just read the book "Blink", which explains a lot about why what our "gut" says about someone or something, without apparent sufficient data, is spot on.

There are signals we don't take in consciously but when we listen to them, we are freakishly accurate.

One small example happened a few years back, but after driving for hours, and being behind a truck for some time, I moved my car from one lane to another for no "real" reason. Within seconds, I heard a noise and in my rear view mirror, I could see the truck I had previously been behind, have a blow out, turn sideways and roll, with the car that HAD been behind ME, crashing into the truck. WTF?

In the book "Blink", the theory would be that at some subconscious level, I must have noticed something "off" about the way his back tire was moving/wobbling and some danger signal caused me to change lanes without thought, which saved my life.

OR it was divine OR it was both! Don't know, can't prove. I accept that something I was not mentally aware of in my choice to move my car suddenly, did indeed occur.

Anyway, the book has empirical data supporting this "trust your gut" phenomenon that has been very poorly understood before.
While the book Blink attempts to explain these events, it only goes so far. The author concedes there are people who "guess" at things far better than others, and it's not yet understood why.

We know there are plenty of frauds out there, obviously. For me, Doodler, the mocking doesn't feel helpful. I'm familiar with Penn/Gillette & I share many of their political beliefs. But they do not persuade me against my religious beliefs, which are incredibly personal.

Anyhow, Ginger said she got something valuable out of the reading so, I am not going to challenge that. Why would I?


There are things in my life which I don't understand, including my m, obviously. But more importantly I don't understand all the elements of my faith, i.e. the mystery of my faith.
Hence the terms, "mystery" and "faith".

I don't have all the answers about God or my higher power or who I'm praying to IF anyone,
or where I'm getting strength & guidance from, or the role of Jesus, or Buddha, or heaven and redemption etc.

I see no conflict between science and faith, indeed it's just the opposite.

The more we learn, e.g. space travel/neurosurgery, cyberspace, musical pieces we still play 300 years later, art pieces we find beautiful, from centuries ago, marriages that last a long life time and are happy, the more intentional it all seems...

. I don't need ALL the answers, and I'm at peace with being awed. I have faith in the evidence of things not seen. That's why they call it faith
.


**So GINGER, one of my closest long time friends LC lost her 22 y/o son suddenly last fall. (Undiagnosed Cardiac myopathy. He was an athlete, too). This happened out of the blue...during a phone conversation with her, we were interrupted by her h with that bombshell. I mean, I have No words... )

Anyhow, since I moved back east - I am able to be more supportive and I appreciate that as a gift to me, and hopefully to her.

But there are 2 things I want to share with you about having people in our lives who have had overwhelmingly crappy events occur -


Clearly it helps us to keep our perspective about things. Not so much "so it could be worse!!", which we already knew.

But more like "wow, in every life of depth, there will be deep loss" and the universality of this theme is both sad and comforting. We are not alone. And we can reach out to support others, even in our own pain. (Hence being here).


Second, this same friend asked me to go hear the Long Island Medium Teresa Caputo, with her. I'm not someone who goes to these things. I've been too cynical about it, and have always thought they were fakes. Maybe she is!

But then I think, "what's the harm?" I'm not selling my car to get a reading or some advice. Plus, I could not refuse LC. She wants to go with someone and invited me. It's called being a friend.


Obviously I hope LC hears something comforting about her son. Obviously. I'm Not sure how it works or if I have to push her up front or what.

In case it's not clear, no I won't give away anything about LC. I'm crossing my fingers there's something to this medium and that it helps my friend in her grief. She's just so sad.

Anyhow I'll keep you posted.



M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
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Originally Posted By: Ginger1
When it rains it pours! -

About my need to see how much pain I can tolerate. I feel like the universe keeps doing it for me, so I really don't need to do it for myself.


Ginger ((( !! )))

I have about 3 close friends from childhood who are in dire straights right now.

LC is one, & as I told you, her son died suddenly. JJ lost her mom last week - but has privately been struggling with multiple myeloma and job loss for a year. (She did not want her mom to know these things, to avoid stressing her late mother).

KM had a long awaited double lung transplant and as horrific as that whole process was, she's now in organ rejection. 7 surgeries since the transplant, etc.

OKAY so here's my real point.

Per her request, I go visit KM for her birthday at her beach house 6 hours away. I was expecting a death vigil as she was told by Duke, "we are at the end of the road, no treatment options left."

I'm not sure what I was really expecting, but FUN & laughs were not on the expectation list.

I arrive and she's THRILLED to see me. Like I'm the best 25 ever!

Her grown sons were there and her awesome husband. The next day, Somehow, oxygen tanks and tubes and all, we got on their boat and went cruising around. I mean, what??

KM turned to me at one point and said "Hey 25, will you do my eulogy?"

At which point we talked for maybe 90 SECONDS about what matters to her the most, and then dolphins jumped near us and she was enthralled and exuberant.

"DOLPHINS!! OMG that made my day!"

I $hit you not. She was utterly delighted. We laughed a lot the whole weekend and (granted she needed an 02 mask, but whatever) and also had authentic talks.

She really was consistently in the moment. Intensely. I am still processing what I learned.

BTW, she was a party girl in high school, always cheering the team on but never really "getting deep", and she's someone whom I would never have imagined to be this strong. She just takes the hits and gets back up in the ring, although she wobbles on the ropes sometimes.

She agreed she has surprised herself.

SO I tell my therapist all this ^^ about my closest friends and their travails, and my T knows of my own sudden health crap and h leaving me out west the same month, and the "love of his life OW" posts on FB, etc etc.

T says "sounds like you & your friends have discovered deep wells of resilience."


Ginger, ^^^^ YOU have deep wells of resilience.


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 6,826
Likes: 156
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Ginger1 Offline OP
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Thank you thank you, 25. My IC says I am quite resilient and she has never seen someone do so much work to overcome. I really try, and I keep getting knocked on my A. Yes, much have it worse than me, but I am truly getting worn down. My tears have been flowing at my desk today and I hate when that happens.

I think I'm jealous when I look at FF and new woman. She is exactly what he wanted. Young, unattached to anything, so close with his family already. He literally found the perfect woman for him and everything he told me he wanted. But so freaking fast. And he has mentioned her before which I guess makes it a little harder. Which I didn't expose myself to that profile picture. It's ingrained in my brain now.

Funny, we have about 3 pictures of us. I never posted one to FB, nor did he. Someone posted a pic of us together once, but that's it.

I just need a break from the pain, ya know? Tonight I get to watch my exH play in my spot on MY volleyball team. Playing is what I need to be doing tonight.

When I was talking to my psychic, she said not be surprised if my daughter has psychic abilities. Her intuition and her sensitivity is strong. She was right on with that.

yeah, sometimes we need a little comfort and look in some weird placed. When I'm down and out, I have been known to open a random fortune cookie hoping to see if it could predict something positive in my future.

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