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25,

Your reply was conspicuously parsimonious. Are you ok?

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Originally Posted By: doodler
25,

Your reply was conspicuously parsimonious. Are you ok?



you mean my reply was not long enough? cool

Point for Stunned is to read nothing into her keeping the wedding photos. It's not a bad sign.

But I'm not sure it's a sign of her good feelings about the m either.


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
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Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
On the wedding photos issue-


They are by far the best pictures that I have of me at that age.

Heck if I'll throw those away...

just saying


Maybe that's what she is thinking too but being only 3 years ago she really hasn't changed much in my eyes.

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So my w brother contacted me the other day to tell me he was finally able to get my w to communicate with him via text. A little background he went through a similar situation with his wife 3 years ago where she wanted a divorce and he was able to work things out after months of hard work. She hasn't wanted to talk to him since day one cause she knows what he wants to say is against why she's doing. Anyways he reached out to me and said that he promised her he wouldn't tell me what they talked about but I should already know cause we've talked often since this has happened. All he could tell me was "she's confused man" do idk if that's a good thing or bad or neither ha. I'm just glad somebody close to her is actually speaking positive words to her FOR the marriage.

Oh and I'm on a trip to the Caribbean this week (that I booked for US 2 weeks before she left) and several times before I left she said "have a safe trip" me analyzing this is just wondering if she's just being nice or there's more to it. Either way it's been nice to get away and try to rest my mind and emotions form all this but flying back tomorrow

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Feels like a received yet another blow to any chances of my w wanting to reconcile. My w is very close with my bros w and my bros and his w are in a very rough spot right now and she's talking about moving out cause of something inappropriate video she caught him watching on his phone. They've had issues for there entire m (15 years) off and on. So I just know that her talking negative about my bro to my wife is prob helping my wife wth her reasons for staying gone. It's just very discouraging thinking some many outside influences could be negatively affecting the outcome of our M. I've backed off a ton the past few weeks, have tried to remove any and all pressure off her and haven't had any contact with her since 8 days ago. But I truly feel like with all these outside influences it's all but doomed. Oh and it'll be 2 months on Tuesday since she left.

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It's been two months since my w walked away, it feels like it's been two years. It's so hard to believe that this is considered early on in this of course everyone outside of this forum is saying how long it's been and if she hasn't come around yet she prob never will. That's pretty discouraging to hear, and I do feel like we should be farther along than we are but I can see some very small baby steps forward at times but not much.

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Originally Posted By: Stunned
It's been two months since my w walked away, it feels like it's been two years. It's so hard to believe that this is considered early on in this


If you're in a marathon then two months would be about the first seven steps, LOL! We just can't stress it enough around here, the recovery timeline is extremely long and especially in the first few months all the negative talk she throws at you really means nothing.

Quote:
of course everyone outside of this forum is saying how long it's been and if she hasn't come around yet she prob never will.


Read chapter 1 of DR, Michele addresses this. Your friends and family think ripping the band-aid off is the best course of action for for THEM because they don't want to "suffer" having a friend or family member being miserable. If you are choosing to stand for your M then just politely tell them to either support you in your decision or shut the F up. Simple as that smile

Quote:
I do feel like we should be farther along than we are but I can see some very small baby steps forward at times but not much.


It's far too soon. Right now you need to focus on YOU. How's your GAL going?


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
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My GAL has been slowly improving, i workout 5 days a week and eat much better. I try to mountain bike most weekends and or fish. I just got back from a week in Aruba which was bittersweet cause I booked it for both of us after the miscarriage and the fact we go there a lot together but I did make the best of it.

My w has been in close contact with my bros w and right now that it a bad thing cause my bro and his w have some major probs so I know her speaking negative about my bro is prob validating my w reasons for leaving saying it's hereditary or something that they can't treat women the right way. So that's discouraging but I pray my wife will one day see me as and individual and understand that I am not my bro or my father. But right now she's probably not thinking that.

How bad do you think outside influences affect the timeline of this process? I'm sure it increase the time line a lot.

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Originally Posted By: Stunned
How bad do you think outside influences affect the timeline of this process? I'm sure it increase the time line a lot.


I'm sure it affects it a lot. My best friends XW (WAW) divorced him two months before my XW (WW) divorced me. WAW and WW are best friends too. They probably sit and pat each other on the shoulders and are doing high-fives.. Incredible, we all started dating around the same time 20 years ago and divorced within two months. Its a crazy old world.


M:46 WXW:40
T:20 M:13
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Originally Posted By: Btrow
Originally Posted By: Stunned
How bad do you think outside influences affect the timeline of this process? I'm sure it increase the time line a lot.


I'm sure it affects it a lot. My best friends XW (WAW) divorced him two months before my XW (WW) divorced me. WAW and WW are best friends too. They probably sit and pat each other on the shoulders and are doing high-fives.. Incredible, we all started dating around the same time 20 years ago and divorced within two months. Its a crazy old world.


It's definitely discouraging that people can't think for themselves, the people encouraging them don't care cause it's not there life that's gonna be affected. I guess misery loves company

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