I have read all the posts many times and will continue to do so.
I was light and breezy yesterday. We took the boys to laser tag (I got the high score one round haha)
Then H suggested we go bowling. We all laughed and had fun. On our way home H suggested grilling out for dinner and asked if that was ok with me and then asked what time I needed to leave for 'my thing'
I got dressed wedges and all and left him while he was cooking dinner just said to have a good night. He didn't message me while I was out to tell me about the baby.
My dad was here he didn't want to leave H alone with the baby the way he screams uncontrollably. So he text me around 1030 and then 12 the baby screamed for an hour. I started to come home twice but stayed out. I came in around 130. Didn't say anything to H got in bed and went to sleep. He stayed sleeping in the bed with me and got up with the baby changed him and gave him to me to feed.
My uncle is taking his boat offshore to go shark fishing. My dad invited h to go.
I'm not sure about this. My dad is out there being all talkative and friendly. Again -- I don't want H to think this is how it's going to be. He even told his mom everything would be ok like this.
Just give it a little time and see where things go. Sounds as if H is sticking his toe in the water and seeing how things feel. Keep working on yourself. By the way did you have a good time last night?
Yes I had a good time with a few of my girlfriends. It wasn't a perfect night because I was stressed about the baby crying and really wanted to go home but felt it was important for H to do it on his own.
I won't lie I sat in my car in the driveway drinking a beer talking on the phone to my mom crying at 130am. But I pulled myself together and came in and didn't say a word. My mom wanted me to go in and tell H I loved him or something and I said no I can't that you all would yell at me haha!!
I thanked H this morning... just said thanks for keeping the kids and thanks for staying in the room last night it was nice to have your help.
He and my dad are st the store now and getting ready to go offshore. I'm going to stay home with the baby and work on homework. They'll pick me up on the boat when they get in from fishing and we will go to the island and hang out for a couple hours. Rough life my kids have
My uncle is taking his boat offshore to go shark fishing. My dad invited h to go.
With your father not that happy with H, are we sure that H is coming back from this fishing trip?
That was my first thought! Or perhaps it is just men being more laid back and forgiving than women
Great job last night, T0. I like the staying out late. I note that you said that H was in bed, whereas other nights he's been on the couch, right?
What was up with your mother? She should not be encouraging you to tell H that you love him when you've had a few drinks in you. Have you talked with her and let her know the best way to get H back is for you to be happy and detached and doing things like telling him you love him will work against you?
Ha no one way fishing trip today. Not quite sure of my dads intentions. This entire time he's been upset with H but hasn't said one word to him about anything to him. Like I said before he wants me to get rid of H. So I don't get why he's being so friendly to H. He hasn't been mean to him since he moved out but he also hasn't engaged or spent time with him.
Yes H was in our bed with baby when I got home. I expected that because that's where the baby sleeps. He was sleeping when I got in so I didn't wake him Togo to the couch. I did thank him for staying in the room bc he got up with the baby and changed him I just had to feed him so it made my night easier.
I haven't heard from him on the boat. Normally he will text me pictures. I decided not to go with the baby. I just didn't feel like it and it's hot for the baby and a lot of work for me. Plus I don't really want to be around H.
IRT my mom. She means well she just told me that's what she would do but to not just do what she tells me to do. She like me just wishes it were that simple. Plus we had both se drinking. I knew not to do anything.
Patience is the key, MLC is a long, long marathon (months even years) with with some major roller coasters and numerous step back. Don't mind read, just keep detaching and rebuilding yourself!
Don't engage in any negative circle and learn how to recognize when he tries to start an arguments, that's very important, he might step up his game to make you mad when he will notice that you are not reacting as you used to, just leave the room if it's too much, but do not answer back (don't give him that pleasure).
No R talks at all, just act as a friend/neighbor, the more you can interact with him in a neutral/positive manner, the better it is for you and your kids, kids are very sensitive to the tension between their parents. It brings positivity to the family relationship whatever the outcome can be.
Me 52+ WH 57+ Married 20 + Piecing since 2016 (ready to give up...)
H stayed again last night... slept on the couch. He doesn't say goodnight or anything to me he comes and kisses the boys (who are in my room) and says nothing to me.
We don't really talk unless I make small talk which I don't push too much.
I walked outside while they were cleaning the boat and I guess he and my uncle were talking about everything but I don't know what specifically. I didn't ask my uncle or anyone for that matter to talk to him.
It was a nice weekend. It was like our normal life minushim treating me as a wife rather than an aquaintance.
Anyway- thought about sending him a text thanks for a nice weekend. The kids and I had a good time or something along those lines.
