Well, she seems to have noticed the changes. That's a good thing. Now you need to stick with them and make them habits.
It seems to me that "emotional abuse" is in the eye of the abused. To some, it is abuse. To others, it isn't. What is important is that to your wife, it is. Her perception IS reality, so own it, figure out what you're doing that she feels is abusive, and stop it. Sounds like you're on the right track.
Keep posting. Just journaling is helpful, and there's a lot of emotional support available on these boards.
M:23 T:26 Me:53, Wife: 60 S:18 D:16 filed 7/16 W moved out 4/28/17
Well, a lot has happened. She has a sentencing hearing for Criminal Damage to Community Property Under $1000, a misdemeanor. She actually destroyed $1100 of stuff which makes it a 4th degree felony but I am not pushing it. She could lose her job over it if they sentence her to just one day in jail. I am the victim/witness. There is a No Contact Order in place, but I don't care.
She has agreed to stay for one year. I don't think she will and I know she is not happy. She is the one who called me out of the blue and offered one more year. She says there is no chance of us reconciling, she just doesn't want to lose everything.
I have got a new job paying much more than I used to make, but I work 13 hour overnights and we won't see much of each other. She says that is one of the reasons she decided on staying for another year. I have put my lawyer on hold for the moment. I have decided to save as much as possible so that if I cannot fix the marriage, I will buy another house and rent her this one for as long as she wants it. She loves this house, but in New Mexico, because I owned it before we were married, she will only get a small stipend for each mortgage payment I have made since we got married.
If she has no intent on trying to reconcile, then leave her to fend for herself. W clearly is using you, but doesn't want you. So let her go out and earn like everyone else. Or try to get it from the guy she was flirting with. Reality destroys the fantasy. And it would allow her to sit up one day and think that maybe things weren't so horrible with you.
Well, a lot has happened. She has a sentencing hearing for Criminal Damage to Community Property Under $1000, a misdemeanor. She actually destroyed $1100 of stuff which makes it a 4th degree felony but I am not pushing it. She could lose her job over it if they sentence her to just one day in jail. I am the victim/witness. There is a No Contact Order in place, but I don't care.
It seems like something is missing here, was she arrested and charged as a result of the incident you mentioned in the first post, this one?
"When I got home on 6/12/17, I didn't say anything at first. I let her initiate. While staying calm and happy and speaking in a neutral tone I responded to her. She slowly got angrier and angrier. Eventually she started throwing and breaking things. Did I go wrong?"
What happened, did you call the police? And did you file charges or the police?
Originally Posted By: MJoelC
She has agreed to stay for one year. I don't think she will and I know she is not happy. She is the one who called me out of the blue and offered one more year. She says there is no chance of us reconciling, she just doesn't want to lose everything.
I am really confused, you took out a no-contact order on her and now you're talking about letting her stay for another year? I just feel like there are a lot of missing pieces in this story!
Quote:
I have decided to save as much as possible so that if I cannot fix the marriage, I will buy another house and rent her this one for as long as she wants it.
Why in the world would you do that? I'm with Tread on this one, if the M doesn't work out then her life becomes her responsibility, don't enable her.
