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The really cool thing is that the acronym for his name, FF, can morph into whatever may be necessary at the time. You can go from Firefighter to Fluffy Friend to Filthy Freak to...whatever.

(I didn't mention French Fry because that would be inappropriate.)

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Originally Posted By: doodler


The really cool thing is that the acronym for his name, FF, can morph into whatever may be necessary at the time. You can go from Firefighter to Fluffy Friend to Filthy Freak to...whatever.

(I didn't mention French Fry because that would be inappropriate.)



I am deeply, madly in love with French fries. So definitely not French fries.

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Well, I meant that if a firefighter became a french fry, it probably wouldn't be a good thing. Or maybe that's a pork rind?

I'm aghast, you're so morbid.

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I cant go on at work anymore, so you guys wont hear my crazy ramblings much anymore, so sorry! HAHA! Had a great weekend with some friends from the boards. One of the best things I have gotten from my crappy sitch is the friends I have gained from here. I also went to the my dads, we went to the beach, D9 is no longer afraid of the ocean, we actually rode bikes on the boardwalk, saw fireworks on the beach from my dad's terrace, it was great.

We were talking at dinner about being gullible (I will believe any story you tell me) and it made D9 think of FF because he would always say I was more gullible than D9. It was a trigger for her to remember him. He still lingers on her mind. SHe is left with memories too. She said " I miss FF" I simply say "I miss him too"

Life post DB is funny. How we learn to sit back, not chase something that doesn't want us, how we know that someone who truly wants to be in our lives will be and we cannot force it, nor do we want to. Before DB, if I would have chased, called, asked why he is ignoring me, ect....... (I was also in my 20's at BD) but I see people I know at my age do that now..... but I won't. It may leave me with a sadness but I have learned to just feel it and keep going. I accept someone doesn't want me as much as it hurts.

It boils down to we can't always have what we want. Or, for that matter, what we need is not always what we want.

There is my deep thought of the day!

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Here's a small update....

I finally dug deep last night with my IC on my abandonment issues and my awful feelings of guilt and like I am getting what I deserve. We also dug into my need to see how much emotional pain I can handle. I expose myself to things that hurt, like ex's and their new partners to see if it hurts. It's a test to see how strong I am. It was pretty emotional yesterday.

Then I headed out to volleyball. It was 4 on 6 and we were getting killed but having the best time. I go up for my shot of the game, nailed the ball, made the point, and came down and my knee did this godawful pop thing. The one good body part I haven't injured in my knee. Well, to make a long story short, I eventually ended up in the ER and I am now on crutches, I can't bear weight and I probably tore something.

Aside from the pain, my mobility issues, not even knowing how I am going to get stuff done like grocery shopping, I just finally cried this morning. I love playing volleyball, I love exercise. It's what keeps me sane. With it taken away from me, I am so sad. I have tears as I type this.

The good news? My teammates are freakin' awesome. There are 2 guys who are roommates who I hung out with last week and this week. They practically carried me over to the bar and we really got to know eachother. The guy who runs the leagues bought me 2 drinks and we were talking. He's the nicest, very good looking guy. And married! Boy if he wasn't married..... and if the one of my teammates wasn't 26, well.... There is definitely a flirtation between us, but all innocent.

I decide to take myself to the hospital and the doctor was totally flirting with me. he was the same age as me. He even held my hand to take me to the bathroom. It is nice to be flirted with.

Which brings me to..... OLD. There was this guy who simply liked me so I went to his profile. It was the worst profile if it was true. I couldn't tell if it was sarcastic, but it was a whole bunch of "don'ts" so I decided to give him my unsolicited advice. He actually emailed me back telling me he was impressed with what I said and that I was the only woman to see through his profile. No one paid attention to his real nice guy personality profile and he had some bad dates from the ones who did. When he became and dick, the same women who did not respond to his emails, were flooding his inbox. Long story short, we have been emailing back and forth. D'd for 7 years, one stepdaughter, one daughter, same view on more kids.... I hope he finally asks me out.

And, I don't know how to work instagram. I just realized this weekend that FF unfollowed me. I am following him, but he unfollowed me somewhere along the line. He really wants to forget me, and I respect that, although it hurts. After listening to my cousin recounting her affair with a much older married man who claims to love both her and his wife, (she is married too, but does not love her H) and seeing her desperation in trying to keep him when she knows this is going to end for sure, I remind myself how strong I am by letting this one go and not prolonging pain.

And that's that. I'm hoping things go up from here.

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Originally Posted By: Ginger1
We also dug into my need to see how much emotional pain I can handle. I expose myself to things that hurt, like ex's and their new partners to see if it hurts. It's a test to see how strong I am.


Ginger,

Does your IC believe that testing your mettle isn't beneficial?

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Originally Posted By: doodler
Originally Posted By: Ginger1
We also dug into my need to see how much emotional pain I can handle. I expose myself to things that hurt, like ex's and their new partners to see if it hurts. It's a test to see how strong I am.


Ginger,

Does your IC believe that testing your mettle isn't beneficial?



She knows exactly why I am doing it and it makes logical sense, but really, I don't need to expose myself to it. I try to see what I can handle and test the waters. What she really wants me to learn to do is recognize pain is not weakness and that I deserve good things and I don't deserve the bad things.

Although........ I have a 95% chance of a tear in my ACL most likely requiring surgery. I am so depressed and in physical pain, tears are just flowing out of my eyes. Taking away my livelihood is going to push me back into depression.

The absolutely gorgeous orthodepic surgeon I just saw asked if I have any help at home. HAHAHA! I felt like saying "no, but you can come stay at my house, there is plenty of room in my bed!

One thing after another.

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Originally Posted By: Ginger1
The absolutely gorgeous orthodepic surgeon I just saw asked if I have any help at home. HAHAHA! I felt like saying "no, but you can come stay at my house, there is plenty of room in my bed!


Ginger,

That sounds like a missed opportunity. No flirtations?

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(((Ginger)))

I love to exercise too and I know how devastating it is to have an injury when your on a positive roll. It's a setback, but as we know life is filled with them!
Is it your right leg? Can you drive?

You are totally my hero for actually giving that guy advise! I am an OLD lurker and I come across those profiles and wonder if the guy actually wants to date or just insult women. I also find it a bit pretentious when people write that they only want to date someone that knows the difference between "their, and there". Lots of grammar police out there.

I like the more positive ones too. And the ones that actually put effort into it rather then just writing a generic and short bio that looks like everyone elses. It makes me think that they are taking dating and meeting sone one seriously.


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Originally Posted By: doodler
Originally Posted By: Ginger1
The absolutely gorgeous orthodepic surgeon I just saw asked if I have any help at home. HAHAHA! I felt like saying "no, but you can come stay at my house, there is plenty of room in my bed!


Ginger,

That sounds like a missed opportunity. No flirtations?



WAAYYYYYY out of my league, lol. Yes, some witty banter but that's it. I was told he is married and his wife is a major B, which is a shame because not only is he gorgeous, he is a sweetheart.

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