Well, last year H dropped my coat and boots that were in our car, in the garage in the middle of the night along with an awful birthday card.
He only got it because D texted him a reminder.......it had a cocktail glass on the front with the words 'celebrate and enjoy'. He scrawled my name on the inside, and just a 'from h', no kiss.
I was so upset I tore it up and threw it in the bin. Today my card from him reads 'to my special wife' and 'with all my love' with a message hoping I have a lovely day and to get well soon, signed H with a kiss.
That was the best thing he could have got me for my birthday. He was in the kitchen with GD when I opened it in the lounge.
He must have heard me sniffing as I couldn't help being tearful and had to take a few moments to compose myself before returning to the kitchen.
Oh good, it's nice to have some positivity occasionally on here.
He behaves strangely still.....mentions putting things in the garage, then doesn't.
Says he wants to look for the docs for the car, will fix the loo etc, then doesn't. He keeps yawning, and I said yesterday, you're tired....he answered "I always am".
It's awful, I think he has a long way to go. But there is nothing I can do to help him. I have learned from this site that he has to go through this journey himself and while my cancer may have kind of woken him up, still he needs time.......
So do I, it will all come good in the end. I just think we need to treat our relationship right now as a baby chick in our hands.
Treat it very gently and with great care, it's so easy to drop it......
H is still calling, we just talk small talk. I may get a hug and a kiss on the neck, I may not.
I must say I was a little offended that he hasn't initiated relationship talks or increased contact.
But.....I then came to the conclusion.....only he knows what's going on in his head. I know I love him with all my heart but, I'm enjoying my life at the moment. I do what I want, go to bed when I like, get up when I want, watch sport on the telly, drink wine from 2pm.
I know this would all change if and when he comes back. And then It dawned on me....maybe he feels exactly the same way. He plays pool in his local pub every Tuesday, he has a separate fantasy life.
And that's why he's in no particular hurry either......
Westo - I hate to suggest this, but perhaps you are both "cake eating"? Cake is indeed tasty.
A difficult question - are you happy with the status quo? On the surface and across all these miles of ocean it may appear so. If you are both happy then carry on. If not, changes need to be made.
PS - had dinner with a good friend last Friday. Practiced cwtch on her but unfortunately it got mixed with Canadian bear hug. She assures me that her ribs will be fine eventually <smile>.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Westo, glad things are going well in your wonderful part of the world. I've been a bit down and having a hard time peaking out of my self pity to root others on, but I think you are doing such a wonderful job and displaying so much patience and love. Hope the healing is going well for you.
