Hi all, i know that lots of posts are saying that the books are not available online as eBooks but there must be someone that knows where i can obtain a copy, I live on a small island with a small community and don't want our private business to get out and destroy our children. If someone could point me in the right direction that would be greatly appreciated.
You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support). Especially on this Newcomers forum, where the posting activity is very active, and your posts can quickly fall to the bottom of the page or even several pages down. Keep journaling and asking questions - people will come! Most important - POST!
Get out and Get a Life (GAL). DETACH.
Believe none of what he or she says and half of what he/she does.
Have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.
Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.
Here are a few links to threads that will help you immensely:
I agree with Island here. While the delivery of the book itself can be concealed, it isn't as easy to read it or keep it around the house without being discovered. I would welcome a Kindle edition. I haven't read DR yet for this reason.
Me46 W46 M25yrs T29yrs 4 children ILYBNILWY 1/30/17 PA confronted 3/6/17 Separated same house
Our imports have to be submitted to a freight forwarder who needs invoices for customs clearance so they would see the title on the invoice...we are good friends with the freight forwarder!!! A True dilemma!!! The forum, your rules post and the cheat sheets are a good start but i would really like to read the books.
You can read the first chapter in the links above. Other than that I do not know of any e-versions of the book. MWD and Virginia are aware of the need for it however it has not yet happened. I am not sure that it will happen anytime soon.
Maybe Cristy knows more about this when she stops by.
Well maybe I will have to wait for our summer trip to "the mainland" so that i can pick a copy up. In the meantime I may seek some advice on the forums. I have read quite a number of threads and I am struggling to define the line between NC and "being a spouse only a fool would leave". I feel that although its important not to be available to W it can seem cold and not very attractive to be dismissive in all that she has to say etc. Sadly in my situation I have only just discovered the DB site and have already broken every one of Sandi's rules countless times. I actually got to the point of stepping back and accepting the PA (still ongoing although W said wasn't a number of times) before visiting the DB site. That feeling in itself made my mental state much better. Once I actually just said "I know she is" rather than anxiously wondering, waiting up for her, yelling when she did return late etc my mind felt at peace. it was quite incredible. So now after discovering the site I am trying to live by the rules (I read them everyday) starting to work on GAL although quite difficult just now as had an accident that prevents me from getting around easily (couple months max). Also quite difficult as W still living at home, separate rooms now. How do I adopt the NC without being an a$$, eg. would make coffee every morning and take to her, now I still make coffee but it just isn't in my nature to stop doing it for her. Do I have to, according to the general consensus of advice on here? Any pointers to threads similar to my sitch or advice would be appreciated.
Just keep POSTING and one other bit of advice from Wonka that I totally agree with.
Originally Posted By: Wonka
Get DR/DB book. Keep this to yourself. DO NOT share this book or this site at all with your spouse. It is your playbook and not to be shared with the "opposing" team.
It is important to clear the search/browsing history from your computer on a daily basis to prevent the possibility for your WAS to stumble on the DB site and discover your posts here on DB. Erasing the search history will protect your posts and you as well.
We have seen too many Marriages blow up in pieces after the WAS discovers the DB site or DR book. Why is that? It is because the WAS thinks, erroneously I might add, that you are "manipulating" them back into the M.
Keep the DR book and DB site very close to your vest.
Well maybe I will have to wait for our summer trip to "the mainland" so that i can pick a copy up. In the meantime I may seek some advice on the forums. I have read quite a number of threads and I am struggling to define the line between NC and "being a spouse only a fool would leave". I feel that although its important not to be available to W it can seem cold and not very attractive to be dismissive in all that she has to say etc. Sadly in my situation I have only just discovered the DB site and have already broken every one of Sandi's rules countless times. I actually got to the point of stepping back and accepting the PA (still ongoing although W said wasn't a number of times) before visiting the DB site. That feeling in itself made my mental state much better. Once I actually just said "I know she is" rather than anxiously wondering, waiting up for her, yelling when she did return late etc my mind felt at peace. it was quite incredible. So now after discovering the site I am trying to live by the rules (I read them everyday) starting to work on GAL although quite difficult just now as had an accident that prevents me from getting around easily (couple months max). Also quite difficult as W still living at home, separate rooms now. How do I adopt the NC without being an a$$, eg. would make coffee every morning and take to her, now I still make coffee but it just isn't in my nature to stop doing it for her. Do I have to, according to the general consensus of advice on here? Any pointers to threads similar to my sitch or advice would be appreciated.
Hello IslandH,
I'm so sorry for the situation you are in.
Little compares to the devastation people feel when they discover their spouse has been unfaithful. Couples often struggle to get past intense emotional pain, mistrust, resentment and never ending arguments about the betrayal. Healing from infidelity is achievable for both of you with the right support and tools.
You are at a very fragile point in this relationship and it would be extremely helpful to know what your next move should be. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.
Cristy
Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
