Just checking in to see how you are doing today Thornton? Hoping you feel a tiny bit better than yesterday. Whilst it may feel anything but right now, I truly hope that in time, you come to see this as a gift - and that you manage to make the very most of that gift and rebuild a good life for yourself.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I'm ok. Yesterday was really hard but I hung in there. Today I'm really tired because I didn't sleep well at all last night.
This morning I went and had coffee at the local Starbucks and then washed my truck. No plans for later, I think I'm just gonna rest today and collect my thoughts.
It feels really empty now that W is gone. I'm trying to just sit with my emotions and let them pass.
Now then Thornton, I'm going to revisit this topic of GAL with you..
She has gone and that is rough, and it is what it is. The house feels empty and she has left a gap in your life which you need to fill..
We have suggested some GAL that is a little more social and your IC has done the same. You've also shared that you may find something that is 'full on' social - like a bar Meetup - a little too much. So, we've then discussed GAL, which is in the company of others but the social contact is more incidental to the shared activity.
You've also said that you don't want to jump into another R - out of loneliness or to avoid the pain - which I think is a really good idea to stick to. And you've said you don't want a life where you come home to an empty one bed apartment and a TV dinner..
So, you don't seem to have taken any solid steps toward doing what others feel would help you at this point. And whilst you are hurting, I do feel - now is the time - to really pick up and start moving forward.
My goal was this - to try one new activity a month which may become a regular GAL activity. I mostly did this and the various GAL activities I tried settled down into four or five regular things, which are now 'my life' alongside existing family, friends and work. I'm not saying my goal is what you should do. Merely, that I think you should a) set yourself a clear goal in this area and b) start some solid work towards it...
I'd love to see you thrive following this break up and I do feel this would be a good path for you.
So, what do you think my friend?
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I know this is painful right now, so I hope you're going easy on yourself. Do what makes you feel good and be as kind to yourself as you are to others. You are worthy, just as you are today.
As to be expected, not a great weekend. I held it together for the most part but I'm still adjusting to all the silence. I havent heard a peep from W since she left, I suppose that's a good thing.
I was able to get out of the house a little bit. Took the dog for a walk, did some retail therapy etc. But I just was not in the mood to be very social. I think I just needed some time to just be alone with my thoughts and feelings.
I kind of feel like I'm just floating along. I'm not interested in doing much but realize I need to force myself. And that's what I intend to do.
Hang in there, Thornton. You've got this. Your years of suffering through all this are OVER. A nice hike or kayaking... soon.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Suprisingly, I am doing better than I thought I would. One of the girls I work with told me that the women in our company have caught wind that I'm single and some of them want to ask me out.
I have ZERO intentions of dating anytime soon but the ego boost from hearing that was much needed.
I will say that sometimes I find that to be the best time to be social. Helps divert my attention to more positive interactions and puts me in a better mood when I start drifting back to those other feelings. Im not saying to ignore your feelings or your pain, but sometimes, Ive found sitting and 'stewing' only reinforces or enhances those negative emotions.
I went through a breakup recently that left me really depressed. I am a social person and I have had no desire to do anything social. I sleep and read. (and spend time with my kid of course). I've literally dragged myself to social outings in the past weekend and while I thought of every reason to cancel in my head, I ended up going to every single one of them
And you know what? I am glad I did. Talking others unrelated to my heartbreak really helped. I felt like my old self again, even if only for a few hours.
I encourage you to force yourself to do a little socialization. it really does help.
