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Nee - Happy Birthday! Hope you had a wonderful night and some much deserved laughs.

I want to echo what Irish said to you elsewhere. When we arrive here we are all part of the walking wounded. It takes time for us to get bearings. We've all been there.

This is a kind and supportive group. Post often because we promise, you will grow stronger if you put the time into this process.

Cheering you on...


Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced
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Happy birthday Nee.

I echo what Ha said about keeping the focus on yourself and what you need to do for yourself. That starts with learning where you begin and end with regard to yourself, partners, family, friends, pretty much everyone.

Start there and the rest will fall into place and you will feel much more comfortable and sure of yourself. Enjoy your evening out with your friend.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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Y'all are very sweet to wish me a happy bday but mine was back in Jan. smile The dinner was to celebrate my best friend finally catching up with me in age. We did have a great time as we always do. We laughed till we were crying. She has been one of my closest friends for over 30 years. I'm very lucky that I've had quite a few friends that I've kept close for over 30 years. I have a lot to be thankful for and I will continue to be grateful for the folks in my life who genuinely love me.

Thank you for your kind and inspiring words, y'all!

Xx, Nee

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Hi Ownit,

I wanted to PM you but it says it's disabled. Maybe I don't know what I'm doing re: that but I would like to know how. Maybe I got axed from it..? Anyway, I figured you may be worried about me, but I'm ok. Really, I am.

I'm going to respectively leave this site all together. If you or anyone else could tell me how to PM, I would like to give you my email address so we could correspond that way if you thought that would be ok. I'm not in a good place here on DB'ing and don't want to continue feeling this way. I sincerely don't want anyone to say that I shouldn't leave this site, either. It's what I prefer. I just wanted the opportunity to see if you would like to stay in touch via email rather than on here. I completely understand if you don't feel like you can do that. You don't owe me anything and i don't expect you to feel obligated to contact me outside of here.

Thank you for all the support and kindness you've shown me. You're an amazing woman with a lot to offer this world. I hope you believe in yourself and continue to flourish. You're going to do great things for yourself and children, Ownit. I just know it!

Xx, Nee

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Nee, that makes me very sad but I certainly understand how you are feeling. Unfortunately, to the best of my knowledge, they do not let people PM (it is disabled for everyone) or give out email addresses. I have seen people say if you put DB and your user name on FB you can find oneanother. I can't do that because of my situation, but if you can then I will try to find you and message you.

I would love to continue to hear from you and about you as you begin this exciting and scary new phase of your life. Please don't disappear until we can find a way to communicate.

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Nee,

I hope you'll Stick around!

And the private message thing has never worked in my years here. (I think it's possibly okay for sending moderators messages but not each other.)

I assume it's b/c the DB staff wants to maintain anonymity for people to feel totally free to disclose their "stuff" without feeling like they can be tracked down (by spouses maybe?)

I'm not positive though.

Anyhow, I feel like you are making progress here.

Also, consider this as an opportunity - you got feedback that made you uncomfortable. Which happens all the time in the real world and obviously has happened in our marriages.

I tried to reassure you that I thought it was a misunderstanding. You seemed to still feel uncomfortable, (which is your prerogative.)

But what if....what if you chose to lean into the discomfort, to face it, work thru it and live with it so you can still benefit from this site?

You know that you are safe here. I mean, it is anonymous.

Trust me, I've gotten some rough feedback from people and I had to just move along. We are all here for "Free" trying to help each other.

I can see that your cognitive work is getting more focussed and organized. I also believe that where the head goes, the heart will follow.

You are going in the right direction. Hang in there.

(( ))


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
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Nee,

First, I want to apologize because I think I have accidently deleted a posting of yours this morning while working on something else. It was not intentional.

Second, the PM has not been activated on this particular public platform because the administrators want to keep things on the forum and with the coaches.

Third, I really do wish that you would reconsider and remain a poster. You are going thru a rough time and need the support of our fellow posters here. As for what transpired earlier in the week, it's in the past and today is a new day.

Please think long and hard this weekend and I do hope that you will reconsider sticking around. We all have had days were our sensitive side comes out. You are only human and like I pointed out, there are times the written word can be interpreted different ways by different people.

Again, I am so sorry that I deleted a posting. If it was your posting that I deleted, would you please recreate it? IF you need assistance from a moderator, please click the "notify" button. That is the only way that the moderators have to communicate w/another moderator.


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Hey Ownit,

I'll try and stick it out on here for a while. I do wonder about the Facebook idea. Maybe Job can provide that info for me. I hope so!! I'd love to be able to communicate with you somehow once I decide to walk away from DB.

25, Thank you for your input. I agree on all of what you said. smile

Job, I have no idea what post was deleted but it's no big deal. It may be better that it was deleted. I may stay on here for a while longer but I'm curious how it us for folks to find each other on FB? Could you tell me how I can go about doing that for future reference. Thank you!

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I can't share the info here on how to locate people directly. Many of the posters use their poster names and add DB behind their names. Many of the posters started this years ago, long before sharing info was banned from this site. As for myself, I only am friends w/a few of the posters because I was able to figure them out on FB and because they've been here a long time.

I would suggest that you experiment w/poster names on FB and see where that gets you. Please do not provide your personal info here or strong hints...they will be deleted. We've had a few that were bound and determined to share their info and they were put on moderation for quite some time.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Thank you, Job! I'm glad I hesitated before posting my info. I was close to doing it. I may give the FB thing a try when I have some time.

Thank you agiain!

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