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I love to dance. And I need to get out of my head, and condo.

I joined a writers' meet up - and volunteered to do crisis counseling (they train).

I also signed up to check out a "DivorceCare" support group that is literally a block from my place.

And I will google "nice let downs".

Sotto, wow, I sure like the guy who said he knew you were not his life partner... how "efficient" of him...

The age thing is curious. Seems a LOT of men only date up to their age, which I think means younger is their strong preference.

Here is what I don't get about^^ that.

If procreating is the goal, I can see why a man would want to date a younger woman.

Otherwise, the reality is that we women can have sex for longer than men, generally. Even with Viagra, that is often still true. A lot of men our age have some ED issues and are not responsive to the medications, or the side effects are problematic.

Just from a sexual standpoint, why aren't women looking for younger men to date?
just curious


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
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You know I've heard that "I'm looking for a life partner" thing from women I know before, I wonder if guys read that somewhere as being a good let down?

25 I don't know the best way to do it, if you figure it out let me know. What I do know is that if you agree to a second, third, fourth date when there's no spark, then what could have been a 30 second unpleasant conversation has the potential to turn into an hour long tear-filled emotionally draining marathon to better to be polite early on!

Your GAL activities sound great, go for it!

I know *plenty* of women who are dating younger men, including a couple former DB'ers. One of them is in her late 40's and dating a 32 year old guy. Plenty of examples of that. My xW was 49 and dated a 35 year old -- it happens!

Acc


Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
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I would change one piece of advice that people have given you. Chat online - a little. Do NOT start a relationship online ( odds are good you won't be attracted when you meet them in person, so don't get too invested). Agree to meet just for coffee if the online conversation goes well ( good to find out quickly if there is no chemistry). And DONT give them your phone number until after you've met them in person. (Trust me, if you meet them and they are creepy, you will NOT want them to have your phone number!)

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Originally Posted By: kml
I would change one piece of advice that people have given you. Chat online - a little. Do NOT start a relationship online ( odds are good you won't be attracted when you meet them in person, so don't get too invested). Agree to meet just for coffee if the online conversation goes well ( good to find out quickly if there is no chemistry). And DONT give them your phone number until after you've met them in person. (Trust me, if you meet them and they are creepy, you will NOT want them to have your phone number!)



KML Ellie,

I don't even know what you mean by chatting if I can't be on the phone with them.

Some online dating group and then we chat on line?? Then I meet them and LATER I give them my phone number?

But I won't know if they're mumblers before I meet them (come to think of it, mumbling drives me crazy. But I won't put that on the profile...)

Geez, this is getting complicated.

But I'm happier about it. cool


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
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PS

So I went to the grocery store where my secret crush works. He walked my groceries home to my condo building (not my actual condo) when I couldn't drive.

He did that twice and it was really nice. And he's very attractive so I thought maybe I'd get some practice with him...

ANYHOW when I went to the store in the produce section, some woman told me I had my shirt on, inside out...which was true.

This ^^ bothers me on a number of levels, especially since I had just seen my doctor and he said nothing about that. (God, I hope he didn't write it down..."patient seems disheveled"...)

I need to step up my game.


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
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kml Offline
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I mean "chat" as in messaging back and forth online. Also, one other reason not to give out your phone number until after that first short coffee date - dick pics. Yeah, they're a thing.

Online is just like being at a party and bumping into someone interesting. The coffee date is that part where you sit down on the sofa at the party and talk to each other a little bit. THEN if you're still interested you can give him your number and hopefully he'll call for a real date.

Excessive chatting online can lead to feeling like you're already starting a relationship - making the gap between fantasy and reality all the more crushing when you meet in real life (and stickier to get out of).

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Also, get a burner number for when you do give out the number. I briefly went on some dates at the beginning of the year (no idea why) and had to burn several numbers because of the creeps out there. Also don't give your real name or let them know where you live until after you've gone out long enough to know they are not insane. Online dating is scammers, pervs and projects. In my short tenure I had some inappropriate conduct thrown at me that was quite shocking. Much better off meeting someone in real life.

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Originally Posted By: kml
I mean "chat" as in messaging back and forth online. Also, one other reason not to give out your phone number until after that first short coffee date - dick pics. Yeah, they're a thing.

Online is just like being at a party and bumping into someone interesting. The coffee date is that part where you sit down on the sofa at the party and talk to each other a little bit. THEN if you're still interested you can give him your number and hopefully he'll call for a real date.

Nice analogy.


Excessive chatting online can lead to feeling like you're already starting a relationship - making the gap between fantasy and reality all the more crushing when you meet in real life (and stickier to get out of).



Wow, that makes sense. The photos are another thing, b/c my sister met a guy who was WAY Off his photos. Other than the 40lb difference he simply did not look like the photo at all. I did not recognize him when i met him, and I had seen the photos.

*Why set yourself up for meeting & seeing someone visibly disappointed??*

I can see why it would be harder to extricate after too many talks on the phone.

Expectations of sex are...what? Forget the articles that ALL say "depends"...

I just want to know how long I can put it off IF I want to keep the R going (and if I don't then it's a non issue). Is there an expectation that after 3 dates you are "leading them on"??


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
Likes: 1
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Originally Posted By: OwnIt
Also, get a burner number for when you do give out the number. I briefly went on some dates at the beginning of the year (no idea why) and had to burn several numbers because of the creeps out there.

Wait...are you saying I have to get a temporary phone from some store, to use in case I'm hounded by a werido? But if I date someone I like, THEN I give him my real number and act like it's normal?? So I'm carrying around my "dating" phone?

Jesus Christ...OWn you are scaring me! (And protecting but still.... cry)



Also don't give your real name or let them know where you live until after you've gone out long enough to know they are not insane. Online dating is scammers, pervs and projects.


cry really? I mean, I'm not lending anyone money or having some guy move into my house...

other than insane $hit, what are the more subtle things b/c I HOPE I can spot the obvious ones...

Thieves?? Oh God...


In my short tenure I had some inappropriate conduct thrown at me that was quite shocking. Much better off meeting someone in real life.



Yeah it is better but as Accuray points out, there's a lot to be said for meeting online in terms of "efficiency".

the nice "Boyfriend" I met in person at the grocery store is kind and very attractive but I doubt we have a lot in common for long term. He's just in the neighborhood and went out of his way to be kind to me.

So the online thing is appealing in the sense of a bigger pool.

I want to like this, people!


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
Likes: 1
2
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[quote=kml]I mean "chat" as in messaging back and forth online. Also, one other reason not to give out your phone number until after that first short coffee date - dick pics. Yeah, they're a thing.

oh for God's sake. Unasked for dick pics? (Forget that question b/c Why would I ask for pictures??)

Okay now I'm laughing AND shaking my head...


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
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