My son is about 4.

Today, I was able to discuss things a bit. We are each (H and I) giving a tiny bit that it'll go the way the other wants, but I got some commitment that I'm not being led along for a ride in him saying he'll give his bit. It took a little work in explaining it, but I needed to know I'm not being told something because he thinks it's what I want to hear. This was helpful.

It doesn't change his lack of romantic feelings for me. He has none. He claims they've been gone for some time, even before the affair. I can't speak as to whether this is true or not, but I do know that I don't believe we'd be in the same position without the affair happening. To be honest, I wouldn't be shocked if he didn't feel romance, but sometimes that happens. We have a number of items that cause stress in our life. However, for me, that means you have something to work on, you don't walk away because it's not there. His claim is that when we'd been going out, it was fun, but it didn't make him feel romantic with me.

We'll have to see where things go, but at the same time, I am doing my part. I am detaching, and he really does like me better. I don't understand why, but for some reason, he said he kind of felt smothered before. If he did, I feel a big part of it was his lack of communicating things to me that bothered him, and I'm not talking about taking out the trash. It seems that he's got to learn to open his mouth, but he said today, he thinks this weird dynamic is us, and it wouldn't be the same with someone else.

-TIP2012