I always think about all of you here and how much you have offered me support, listened to me or guided me. There are still some good days and bad days, but I have finally made the decision to close the door for good.
I have been refusing to see the truth that was in front of my eyes all this time (not too bad as it only took me two years and two months. Hahaha!) but now that there is no hope for reconciliation I feel like a weight has been lifted. At times when I think about my past life I still have a sting in my heart but the uneasy feeling fades away within 5 minutes.
OW updated her FB profile picture with the two of them within a week of ex receiving the divorce petition. Ex is contesting the ground for divorce, so I'm getting prepared for an ugly battle. Since he received the papers he is displaying the same behaviour I have seen towards his first partner. There is a lot of anger from him as he blames me for I don't know why and I don't want to be in the receiving hand of it.
I still GAL and I'm proud of myself as I went on holidays on my own with my kids and later on with a girlfriend. My life isn't exciting but I'm doing a lot of personal development so if/when I meet someone else I'm in n healthy place.
I'm proud of you Rouky. In closing the door for good, you are taking control of your life and proving to yourself that you value YOU! And you are placing yourself above the bs/nonsense of those who have no backbone when it comes to loyalty and commitment. That is the strength that you have been needing.... And look how far you've come. You even did a holiday on your own!
We all know our ex's are no prize and their behavior continues to demonstrate this. Stay true to yourself! It will get easier (so I've heard.... I'm still practicing myself)
I was talking with a new girlfriend the other day and she mentioned that she was briefly married as well.... She called him her practice husband. I loved that!
Stay well Rouky and keep stretching yourself!
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
Very proud of you Rouky. Sorry that the divorce is so ugly. He is feeling a loss of control and that will drive him crazy for a while. Stay strong and stay beautiful and do what you have to do for yourself. He sure is. Love always, Mark
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
Yeah, funny how the WAS usually drags their feet on the divorce, many of them either can't be bothered or are upset you're not patiently waiting around as Plan B. Just remember this part is just business. Don't let him bully you emotionally, and don't attach emotion to the business proceedings.
Had a tiny step back today. Usually life is good and I enjoy it as I'm in a better place than two years even a year ago. I Ike my own company, GAL (mainly at weekend as got kids' activities during the week), I'm way better off financially now, but today I cried when I got a call from solicitor telling me that ex no longer contest the ground for filing for divorce.
On this one his solicitor has been a good adviser as it would have cost ex a lot more if he were to challenge me (and I know that he has problems with money). Even if I knew it was coming in two week I will get my decree nisis and 6 weeks later I can be officially divorced. I cried not because I miss ex and want him back, but because I felt like a failure as I took my vows not light hearted but it wasn't the case for ex.
I'm not lying that there was still 1% of hope that he would realised what he was throwing away. I'm worried that my heart is on a self protective mode and it will become hard. At the moment I don't believe in love and I'm nowhere near ready to date, but I feel that ex has never been prepared to support me with my depression ( that started before his mum died) and that he took all the best part of me to feed himself with whatever he is missing and once he noticed he had taken everything he went onto his next victim ( maybe OW won't be his next victim).
I just hope that somewhere somehow God will balance it all for me.
God will balance it all for you Rouky. He will help you heal and move on from this. Believe me when I tell you there will be a day when you are thankful that your husband did this. It wasn't long ago that I would have never believed what i just said but it is now true. Good people like us are very high in demand and something much better is coming! Love always, Mark
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
I know it's hard, but I hope in time you start to feel a sense of relief vs a sense of sadness.
I understand exactly what you are saying.... And it S@cks that our spouses didn't (and still don't) have the conviction we have, but there is absolutely nothing we can do about the past. Nothing except learn from it and move forward. Continue as you have been,,,, it will get better.
Hugs, Rouky.
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
Everyday that goes by I'm stronger. One of my friend asked me the following question:'what is your stronger point?'. At first I thought strength but I know I'm strong, then courage came to my mind and it is the strongest part of me.
As a teenager I had to stand up to my mum to achieve my dream (teaching in the UK) and for me it wasn't real strength but courage to stand up for what I believed. Recently I also realised that I have courage as I could have easily packed my bags and moved back to my home country when my marriage broke down and I didn't. I have courage because I'm now a single mother in a country which isn't my home country and with no family support. I have courage because I decided to deal with depression without the help of medication.
All of us here have courage as we carry on despite having being it by a bus. All of us have courage to believe that life has a lot much more to offer us (may it be with our spouse or not).
I had to have a laugh despite my tears when I signed my petition for my decree nisi. I am mourning my marriage not my ex-husband but it took him 4 days between the moment he received the petition and when he actually signed it. I couldn't stop laughing as he is he one who doesn't want to be part of my life and he knew that the petition was coming his way. It took me one day from the day to receive the paper to sign it and dropped it to solicitor. I'm ready to move on with my life.
What ex does now doesn't effect me. I know I will always love him but I know that my life is WAY much better, healthier and happier now. I know now that I'm courageous and worthy of so much more than ex was giving me. I am on another level and too far ahead of ex if he was ever to come back. He is still the same, I'm a better person (not comparing with him) but in a sense that I have dealt with all/ almost all of my issues and I feel at peace with myself. NOW I'M TRULY ME and I will never go back to who I was.
