Sorry about your FIL and I hope you're children are handling this ok.
I am very glad to hear about the break up between your ex and OW. I have heard similar sentiment from other LBS...that they don't care if WS moves on, as long as it's not with affair partner, and i get it. The affair partners are just sleazy and pathrtic.
Hope you have a great birthday and I wish much happiness for you!
I love it when everything falls into place. I'm happy to say that the rope is finally and definitely dropped. Gosh it took me a while but the last remaining of feelings I had for my ex are gone. I'm WAY better off without him.
What happened: today was my birthday. Kids got me presents but at the same time said that they had to pay with their own money (that they earned from doing chores for me). Their dad told them to get their pocket money! Both of them are under 10! It got me fuming and I was sad for my kids.
The best part has to come yet. SD wished me a happy birthday and confirmed that ex is no longer with OW because he has been cheating on her with someone else. I had a good laugh when SD told me about it. For the last two years and a half I blamed myself and felt it was my fault all along, but today has proven me that IT ISN'T the case.
I did wonder if OW was the first one he cheated on me with, however it only lasted a minute as I will never know the truth and secondly even if his mum hadn't died now I believe that at one point he would have cheated on me.
I'm so relieved that this huge weight has been lifted of my shoulders as I was considering of taking him back (if he was to come back), but now not a chance. I'm so glad that his latest two actions (mainly the one towards our children) have killed and buried the last feelings I had for him.
I'm free. I had a great night with my friends and looked stunning.
Oh gosh Rouky!! Many happy returns to you and I'm glad your kids spoiled you using money they earned - bless them...
As for your ex - oh golly! I must admit, part of me would love to hear that about my XH - as far as I know he and OW are still going strong thus far....but I guess how he behaves is his business.
I would agree though that serial cheating is a big concern - If he didn't learn the first time - wow this is a really bad situation.
But the main thing as always is what you are doing and how you are feeling - and I'm glad you had a lovely day and looked stunning.
Xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Just a little update and it's just really to vent.
Today my kids are having dinner with my ex to be introduced to his new girlfriend! Now the funny part is that he asked them not to tell me. I found out because my eldest confided in to my best friend. I'm wondering why ex ask my kids not to tell me. What it tells me on the other hand is that ex can't be honest with anyone and i hope the girls will realise how dishonest he is. I haven't lie to them on anything and I believe in honesty.
I won't lie to you it did hurt a bit as I felt it was too soon as the last time they saw OW was a month ago. Also it made me realised that as a mother I wouldn't introduce them to someone I only met a month ago! Also this new woman leaves an hour and a half away from my ex so I don't think that for the last month he drove back and forth between his house and new woman house as his father had a massive stroke 2 weeks ago. So he has been with new woman for a while now. I also don't see it last unless she moves in with him and her two kids. Apparently my kids are going to meet her two kids soon.
I can see a pattern clearly appearing here: I met SD a month after I moved in with ex, my kids met OW a month after e moved into his own house! As Job said old habits die hard, and now I can see that I had a lucky escape from ex. I don't really think his sisters will approve (my SD certainly doesn't), but as this new woman didn't break my mariage she will be welcome. I can see ex doing to new woman what he did to me and OW so at the moment it's honeymoon period. I have nothing against that woman. I just hope that she treats my kids well and I wish her good luck as ex has clearly not learnt from the failure of our relationship nor his with OW. I'm also sure that he hasn't told new woman about OW (not a good start for a relationship as it's based on lie and cheating from ex). For my kids it will be based on truth as ex told them that he was never longer with OW when he got with new woman (my kind are too young to understand the time frame).
On a very positive note I'm grateful that my marriage broke up in its eighth years as I can say I had a lucky escape! As I can now see that no matter what ex would have cheated on me and I would have had a miserable life.
Wow Rouky your ex is a real piece of work! I am proud of you for being a strong example to your children. You are amazing and will find love again so keep focused on those beautiful kids of yours.
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
I would like to thank you all for your help, advice and kind words over the last two years and a half. It is time for me to move on. My divorce got pronounced 3 days ago and two days before my wedding anniversary, so I see it as a sign from God as closure. I have also learnt that when ex was away playing his sport he had a tendency of bringing back a girl to his hotel and after bragged about it to his mates.
I was sad and cried when I got the divorce paper and there was still a tiny weeny part of me that was hoping that ex would realise what he had let go. I also asked God for a way or sign to let me drop the last bit of rope that I had as I was fed up of being in pain. My wish got granted with the new information given today.
I now realise that I indeed had a lucky escape and that I could have lead a life of misery. I'm better now than I have ever been. Still got triggers but they will fade away with time. I came here to save my marriage and in the light of the new information I'm glad I didn't.
The only thing (if i can use this word) I have saved is me. I'm happier now, less stress and seeing life in such a more positive way than I could have ever imagined. So much better that I don't want to go back to who I was.
This is not a farewell as such but I'm looking in the front mirror not the back one. Shotgun I will really miss you (you have always had a special place in my heart and always will), I wish you well and I'm sure the next Mrs Shotgun will realise what a catch you are.
I am so sorry about the divorce, as you have nicely put it...you have saved yourself and now, it's time to turn the page of your Life's Book and start a new chapter.
Please take care of yourself and stay in touch. The door is always open and your "DB" family is always here to welcome you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Rouky I'm so sorry about this and sorrier to read that you're moving on from us. I understand and support you. Please come back to visit. Much love, Bttrfly xoxoxoxoxo
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
I'm so glad you got that extra information to help you let go! Your ex was never worthy of you. Please make sure the next guy is everything you deserve in terms of character.
Rouky, I'm sorry to hear of the D and am saddened to hear you moving on, but I completely understand. Wishing you all the best and know that we're here for you, should you ever need it.
Xoxo
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
