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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 15
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Thank you 25 for all your responses, I'll admit some is hard to hear. Though it's good for me and I need to hear it.

I will figure out a way to get into therapy, I have been searching ones that work on a sliding fee. I do also have a pastor friend that has counseled us in the past that I have reached out to talk to for myself. I know I need to deal with my issues, I really thought I was doing much better. My reactions to the anger are not nearly as explosive as they have been in the past, so I thought I was on the way. I realize now, there is still so much more to work on. A workshop won't really work for me, I can't be away from my son as his is max assist disabled. He can't care for himself at all and I don't really thing H would be okay with this. So I will shoot for finding a good T. I do think it would be best at this time for individual sessions, I don't think we are ready to go together. I think we both have a lot to deal with on our own first.

Our move was a joint decision, we moved about 2 1/2 hours north of where we were for our daughter to go to college. She didn't get enough financial aid to cover room and board, and really didn't want to live on campus so we moved so she could live at home. Her going to school where she wanted and getting a degree was really important to H and I as neither one of us got a degree (didn't even graduate high school).

I don't think the unpacking will fully fix the issues obviously, but this is something he has gotten angry at me for. He's a tad OCD and neat freak and I'm the total opposite. So the not having things in order and cleaned up so to speak really get to him. He told me if I really cared for him and his needs that I would finish the unpacking and get the house in order.

Big picture goals, hmmm. That's a hard one. To be more financially stable, happpier in general. Not only in my M but in my life. Deal with my old issues and find a way to mend the marriage. I do love this man and if we can find a way to fix some stuff and be the happy version of ourselves I would really love that. I know I need to start with me. My depression really doesn't help anything. I need to deal with my childhood issues, and find more support in dealing with my son. I feel a lot of guilt with him, like I'm not doing a great enough job.

I have a lot of stress, I'm in charge of all our finances, our sons countless dr appts, now that he is turning 18 there is a whole other process legally to take care of there. I am sort of in charge of everything around the house and business and I really need to find better ways to deal with my stress.


M 39
H 38
D 19
S 17 (special needs)

T 22
M 20 (in Aug)
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 123
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for me Ive found the best approach for success in all that you've listed is to heal yourself first. It too gives you the greatest chance of success in all other goals you have


BD Oct 2016
Me 47, W 43
together 25 years
S 25, D 22
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,121
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Originally Posted By: LonelyGirl
Does anyone ever feel like saving the marriage isn't worth it?


Hello LonelyGirl,

I'm so sorry for the situation you are in.

Sure, leaving might seem easier, but it isn't. Leaving just creates a different set of issues. Speaking with one of our DB Coaches will help you clarify your goals.

Knowing what to do and what not to do at this point is crucial. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.

Cristy

Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004


A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.

Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 723
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LG, two suggestions....

1. Find a gym, or someplace where you can exercise, join a class, work off some of that stress. Some gyms have membership fees of $10/month.

2. Look up "meet me" online, and find, join a group of local people with similar interests.

You can best take care of your son and marriage by spending a little time taking care of yourself. Just my $ .02


M:23 T:26
Me:53, Wife: 60
S:18
D:16
filed 7/16
W moved out 4/28/17
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 561
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Jim, (sorry LG, not meaning to hijack),
I am not looking to date or anything, since I have hopes of R, but I AM in a new area, and want to find people who like the same things I do. I found the meet me app, and went in and signed up, like 5 minutes ago, and already some sketchy things are popping up in my notices... do you think this is a safe app? Should I be very careful about responding? All I want us like people who like to play cards, go dancing, etc. No relationships or anything.


M-60 H-51
M-14 years
BD 12/26/16
S 1/1/17

"First the pain, then the rising."
Glennon Doyle Melton

Joined: Mar 2017
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I don't know what to tell you. Honestly, I haven't used it myself, but I've heard some really good things about it from friends who have. I just looked on my local site, and they're pretty outspoken about making it a safe place to meet people. Better safe than sorry, though, so exercise care.


M:23 T:26
Me:53, Wife: 60
S:18
D:16
filed 7/16
W moved out 4/28/17
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