How do I know when there is no hope and it is completely over?
She acts as if she is completely done and moving "ON" while I am moving "FORWARD". These ideas that creep into my mind are dumb. Why do I still think about her when it appears that she couldn't not care less about me or RM?
Vent... (DELETED)
M 8 yrs EA 6/16 PA 09/16 Separated 10/16 WW moves out 11/16 D Filed 11/16, Hearing 05/08/17
Don't worry about what she "appears" to be doIng or feeling. That's why the book says to believe nothing you hear and half of what you see. From what I've seen, what we think the WAS is thinking is usually way different than what they are actually thinking.
Regarding why you still care, I wish I knew that answer myself.
I need someone to talk to that understands what I'm involved in. Every person I've talked to says get the D and Forget her.
I might seek help from IC if this gets much worse on me. Nobody sees the raging storm I hold inside. I am getting very good at "not reacting" and "thinking before I speak".
M 8 yrs EA 6/16 PA 09/16 Separated 10/16 WW moves out 11/16 D Filed 11/16, Hearing 05/08/17
I need someone to talk to that understands what I'm involved in. Every person I've talked to says get the D and Forget her.
I might seek help from IC if this gets much worse on me. Nobody sees the raging storm I hold inside. I am getting very good at "not reacting" and "thinking before I speak".
Hello codeman,
Your friends and family mean well when they tell you to move on and forget her because they hate to see you hurting. What they don't realize is that it doesn't solve your problems. OwnIt is right about an IC having the same attitude, not helpful.
Mach1 has an excellent regarding her changing her mind again before 5-8. It is another example of her being conflicted.
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I was "let go" from my job due to "your position was eliminated" after 18 years. I have a severance package that will carry me for a while so I'm ok there.
I can get another job, that is not an issue. My concern is when/if WW finds out she will want 1/2 of my 401K money. I do not want the divorce but I don't want to give her 1/2 of my 401k either. In the D papers she agreed that she would keep her 401k and I would keep mine. Hers was $1k but mine is substantially more.
Am I just being selfish again by wanting to protect my interests or is my concern warranted?
M 8 yrs EA 6/16 PA 09/16 Separated 10/16 WW moves out 11/16 D Filed 11/16, Hearing 05/08/17
I don't think she will get half of your 401k after 8 years of marriage versus 18 years at the company.
Obviously ask a L, b/c it's crazy not to.
Also if she signed the D papers, why would she now want more of the retirement?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
IF (not sure but kinda think so) she gets a portion
it'd be half of the overlapping time in, meaning she'd get half of the amount contributed of the 8 years of marriage.
So that's 1/2 of the 8/18, i.e. half of it is 4/18 = 2/9.
And I think that would be if she has not signed off on something else and that's also in a vacuum, b/c I don't know what else was divided.
SORRY about the job, too. Been there done that. Ouch
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
