I see that through this I haven't shown that I do love my wife very much, She is my life. my better half. my soalmate. I pray to God every day that things can and will work out.
that last phone call she did say that she loved me before hanging up. I omitted that.
She is a very loving woman. a great mother and an excellent wife, we are just going through a pretty serious rough patch.
We have been talking, she has really started to open up! She is becoming more loving and caring again. I can see the animosity leaving!
I might as well be back home, I have only stayed at the other place 1 night this week. Tonight will make it 2, she has an appointment for a tattoo that was previously made.
We have started to talk about the future some, she is receptive and even throws out ideas and options herself. I don't think the fridge thing was an issue. I believe she genuinely wanted to do that together.
I told her more of my past, she was extremely receptive, and full of sorrow for me. I think now she understands why I acted as I did after the bomb drop, I can feel myself changing for the better. Patience was never a strong point in me, but this has helped that!
I got the bi-polar meds refilled, although they make me feel kind of like a robot for a bit, I have already started to feel myself level out.
we were able to actually talk about things that before I would have taken to an argument, but we both stayed cool and calm for the most part. there were a few moments but we brought it back quickly so we could actually talk through it.
She told me she loves me so many times yesterday, It felt amazing!! Also did an act of service that was special between us two throughout our marriage, also amazing. I took this as a sign that things are looking up!
I am glad that I found this site and was able to read through some of the stories and get a better perspective on things, and what I need to change for myself. It has helped so much! I love her with all of my heart and couldn't imagine life without her. I will keep you updated with what happens.
That's all good stuff. Just be sure to tamper your expectations. Sometimes they can swing in the other direction really quick. Enjoy the good, nurture it, but just keep yourself in check.
I am doing what I can to nurture it along, not being confrontational as best I can. Loving her but at her pace. She is a kind, loving woman. I think it will come back, just will need time and some counseling to help work through the issues and forgiveness needed.
Thanks everyone, I think I am doing a good job at the slow and steady. Letting her take her time to process what she needs to. I will wait for as long as it takes.
I had a little breakdown today. we have argued the past couple of nights. one big one and one little one. I think that I can feel her trying to distance herself from me at times, and at other times her sweet loving self comes back out. We went to church together today, she held my hand tightly, and cuddled a bit with me as well. that was amazing, and her sweet loving self!
I know that I am not supposed to but I asked her about it. She said she is still trying to figure out what she is doing, if she is doing this because she doesn't want to hurt me, or break up the family, or really wants to try to make the marriage work. I told her that I fear my feelings are starting to change as well and I don't like it (me distancing that is) and she said that now I know how she felt for the last several years. As much as it hurt I understand. she has a journey to make and only she can do it. I love her with all of my heart and it hurts to see her that confused, and know that all I can do to help is stay out of the way and cheer from the sidelines. What really [censored] is before the big fight things seemed pretty good! but I found something again that I though was concerning and confronted her about it instead of forgetting it again. I also did another sin in the next fight, I told her what I thought she was feeling/doing.....
Just an update, no better no worse. She leaves on her trip to Michigan tomorrow. She asked for her space to think while gone. I will respect that and not contact her. It will be the hardest thing that I have ever done I believe. I love her.
I did see that she was more open to the R then before. But I keep doing things to set that back more and more. she even talked about the future and what we are going to do. then Yesterday I messed up and fought about stupid crap that didn't need brought up. Now not so much lol.
Again, setbacks are fun.
on a side note the book has arrived and I have been going through it and reading/highlighting valid points and ideas. I am not too far into it just yet but I will get there. I am not a fast reader.
