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Makes total sense

I guess it's just that he never lied about these things before and now he is??

I put on my fake face and was pleasant at home. I got home with the boys from soccer and H was home. He greeted me at the door and gave me
A kiss. I asked him about his day and he took a ride with me to the grocery store. We talked about work and he said he was hoping they cancel the requirement for work Saturday and that he's feeling really stressed with this pay cut and has been talking to his regional manager about needing to move shops or leaving the company (he's down over 20k from what he had made at this time last year).

Anyway I had asked him a question. About the tent we use for the soccer games since I'll be going alone. H usually takes care of everything. I just asked if he thought it would be heavy for me to carry alone. He told me it was heavy and I shouldn't be carrying it. He said he would tell his work he couldn't come in so I didn't have to go alone this weekend. I told him that wasn't necessary. I don't know if any of you ladies went through this before with pregnancy but my face is so sensitive to the sunlight. I'm getting all those little dark spots from being in the sun so much and I even put 50spf on my face. It's terrible! I hate those sun spots and I'm too young to have them lol

Anyway we came home and put a funny
Movie on to watch with the boys... I'm putting them to bed now.


M 31 H 34
S 6 S 9
BD 2/14 Piecing 8/14
T384 #2739856 04/20/17 05:45 PM
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Oh and when I checked the phone bill H called the questionable OW today. This is the third time since BD that they've talked on the phone. He never called or her she never called him prior to March.


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T384 #2739857 04/20/17 05:46 PM
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T,

Your H is trying. He's taking the C's advice.

My advice would be for you to follow suit. Go with the flow. Be pleasant when he's pleasant. If he distances himself, you just casually back off and do your own thing.

From where I sit, it looks like the door has opened for a calm, BEAUTIFUL birth of your baby boy.

There's hard work ahead, but let's forget about it for now, okay? Just relax and let things ride.

I don't say this often because I don't want it to come across as patronizing, but ... I am proud of you!


M: 40 H: 44
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*Stop checking his phone for now. Let his actions do the talking. For now.


M: 40 H: 44
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(Because it's possible that he called her to tell her he can't talk to her anymore after-hours because he's going to try to work things out with his W. My H did this in BD1, but it was "goodbye sex" instead of a phone call. And I literally walked in on them ... while I was pregnant. So yeah. Let's not put too much stock in that phone call.)


M: 40 H: 44
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... Also, it's possible that they really do talk mostly about work stuff. But maybe she showed a little interest ... or was a little "flirty" ... and that gave him an ego boost for a bit. Especially if he came home and felt his wife was acting like his mom. (And I *do* think that some of that "black-and-white," cards-on-the-table personality might make it seem like you're more motherly than "wifely," which is something you can work on ... for BOTH of your benefits. I had to work on it, too; it was hard, but life is so much sweeter now!! We'll get to that later.)

I would contend that it would be very hard for a man to "pretend" to love his W while he's infatuated/having an A with another. So take his behavior the past day or two as good news. And maybe let this phone call roll off your back for now?


M: 40 H: 44
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Oh gosh Train that is terrible!

I guess my overall concern is the calls have become more frequent. They are only ever during work hours and never more than 1 minute long. So it's just strange. As I said I can't see if they text because it's iMessages and those don't show on our phone bill.

I'm struggling to keep my mouth shut.


And thanks for saying your proud of me. I know I'm not very good at this. It means a lot


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T384 #2739865 04/20/17 06:35 PM
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None of us are good at this. You're doing great.

And I'll give you advice that Wonka once gave me, and it's one of my all-time favorite pieces of advice:

Be the OW to the OW.

To me, that was the best way to explain how I should be acting.

You are his W. You are the mother of his children. You guys share a past. You're lightyears ahead of any other woman in your H's world. Remember that. And then go act like it!


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Ugh so act as if


Don't say anything about the phone call?

I don't know how to be the OW. I'm huge and pregnant and hormones are out of control and literally all I want to do is have sex (damn testosterone from this baby) but he hasn't tried in a long time.

I don't even know what being the OW is like lol


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T384 #2739868 04/20/17 06:42 PM
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I meant to say I won't say anything about the phone call. I know the answer is to not say anything


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