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Originally Posted By: EastTN
We know how to be what women THINK a man should be.

Ginger1 - East sums it up really well in the above post.

East - My reading of ... is that I'd change ^^ to say "We know hot to be what WE THINK what women want in a man".

Where us nice guys miss the boat is by putting one's self aside we become a shell of who we are or were before M. In my case, it was my dad not prioritizing himself in any way, shape or form and completely having no say in what we did as a family. He did not do this because he was shirking responsibility, but just in wanting to let my mom decide to have what she wanted.

Obviously the flaw in this and the trap I followed is then we're not contributing/owning our side of things. It's all unintentional, but devastating. We do this because of such a fear of confrontation, keep the peace and it makes us look pretty damn weak in the process.

Thornton, sorry to hijack a bit here on your thread, but just wanted to add my 2 cents on ...

Last edited by Cristy; 08/07/17 06:50 AM. Reason: As stated in our OnLine Community Board Rules, we do not allow recommendations of non-DivorceBusting books / websites / blogs etc

Me 42, Wife 39; Married 16; Together 17; Kids: D13, S10
Wife asks for Divorce: 03/19/13
Reconcile: 07/07/13
Round 2 Starts: 02/19/17
Apartment Life: 04/21/17
PA Confirmed: 05/23/17
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So just got home after D's birthday party.

It went off without a hitch, so that was good. W even bought me a beer while we were all bowling. It was my old W that I saw today. We worked like a team to keep the kids bowling and not running around the place.

We thanked me as I left because I foot the bill for D's party.

Now that I'm home, I'm super bummed. This is more than likely the last time I will see D have a bday party.

I prefer when W is stomping around angry because it makes it easier for me to detach. When she's nice and smiling, it's much harder to detach.

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Originally Posted By: Thornton
I prefer when W is stomping around angry because it makes it easier for me to detach. When she's nice and smiling, it's much harder to detach.

No doubt! At least you did get to see the W as you remember. I know it's painful because you start to do the "if only" and woulda, coulda, shoulda.

Remember the good parts of yesterday and make something happen today.


Me 42, Wife 39; Married 16; Together 17; Kids: D13, S10
Wife asks for Divorce: 03/19/13
Reconcile: 07/07/13
Round 2 Starts: 02/19/17
Apartment Life: 04/21/17
PA Confirmed: 05/23/17
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It's such a roller coaster because W was so friendly even last night. Then she said she felt like she was going to have an anxiety attack and went to her room.

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This is brutal. She's acting nice and doIng my laundry for me while packing her things for her big love at the end of the month.

If she was acting angry it would be a lot easier. Ugh...

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Hang in there T. You can get through this. Remember what she's doing to you family. Just because she's acting nice now doesn't change anything.


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Hi Thornton, maybe time to do some focus shifting again as all your recent posts are about her. What about you??

What are you doing for yourself and planning for yourself this week my friend?

Any more news on that apartment you were thinking about??

smile


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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Hey Sotto - I just got caught up in seeing the old W again. To see the woman that I remember caught me off guard and put me in a funk. Im getting anxious the closer we get to the end of May as that's when she is moving out of state. I still can't beleive this is really happening.

This week will be lots of gym time and I have a therapy appt tomorrow.

I had to put my name on the waiting list for the apartment complex I want to live in. They think it will be a few months before they have a place ready for rent.

Im hoping to take a vacation to visit an old childhood friend sometime in June.

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I don't know if this was ever mentioned, but where is your D16? Does she live with your exW, do you have an R with her?

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Hi Ginger - ExW and I split time with D17. D17 is in school and also working so she's been extremely busy. She's also in the stage where all she wants to do is hang out with her friends so I don't get to spend much 1 on 1 time with her.

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