Just emailed my lawyer asking for his advice. Stay tuned...
Just a few min ago my wife calls my cell phone which she hasn't done with probably 2 weeks. I didn't answer. I texted back a few min later saying that I was in/out of meeting the majority of the day. She said, thats fine, just call me when you can. I text back saying, no, i dont have much of a desire to talk on the phone and we can handle everything through texts. She didn't respond yet. Good/bad? Thoughts?
Good call by Kaizen on obtaining proof regarding your W.
I think you are fine with the response. Try to keep the emotions out of your responses. That would be my only suggestion.
Time to start a new thread.
Last edited by Cadet; 03/28/1709:07 AM. Reason: Start a new thread message
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
Yeah, you guys are right. Keeping it a mystery is probably the best. So, is she truly in love or coping in your opinion? The OM is is 6 years older than me, not attractive, doesn't make as much $ etc... of course none of these things matter but what gives?
Love? Doubtful. Affairs are built on fantasy and infatuation rather than reality. When you've been unhappy in a relationship for a long time, having another person come along who expresses interest in you and treats you kindly feels rather intoxicating. But real love...the kind that washes your dirty laundry and takes care of you when you're sick and is your co-partner in building a home, paying bills and raising a family...that takes time. The reason that so many relationships that started as an affair end is because when they try to take that fantasy into reality, the infatuation can't hold up. I am currently reading a book that states over 80 percent of marriages between affair partners end in another divorce...and those stats are the "success stories" of affairs that actually make it to marriage. So realistically, the chances that your W has found her "soul mate" in the neighbor are really very slim.
That said, your focus right now should be on getting yourself to a healthy place so you will be OK with or without her.
Last edited by Cadet; 03/28/1702:14 PM. Reason: Start a new thread message
Why is it so many are quick to jump on affairs as fantasy? Sure, maybe some are. Maybe some aren't. Maybe the cheater just wants out and doesn't really care? Maybe they are looking for a f**k buddy? The reason is irrelevant. The elephant that no one is speaking of is that affairs happen, unless the cheater is a whore, is because the cheaters are done with the marriage and don't care about their former spouse. I use the word former, because in reality, that's what it is.
I'm not trying to be an a**, but just wondering.
Last edited by Cadet; 03/28/1703:55 PM. Reason: Start a new thread message
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Quick update: as many of you know, I have been living under the same roof as wife as she has been leaving each night, walking across the street and then coming home in the morning. Today I saw a post from her and the captions were as follows: rainbow after the storm, breath of fresh air, I think he loves me, food is the way to my heart, blessed. He had made her food and she posted this online for the world to see. This is where I lost it. I immediately drove home from work and packed my things. I will now be staying with my parents until divorce is final. Again, she may/may not be living in a fantasy world, but at this point it doesn't matter. She will now have to take care of yards, pool, animals, not be able to walk across the street cause I son will be sleeping over there, etc... I should have never come back in the first place. Ego driven move and now I am back at square one. It was only when I had moved out the first time and created that space that she texted me that she missed me, and went went out on our date, etc... Will that happen again this time? Probably not and not sure I even want it to. Today was certainly a rough day but now focus is shifted to me.
Me: 38 Her: 33 Bomb: 1/6/2017 Separated: 1/10/17 Together: 16 Years Son 12 Years Old She and Son still at the house Divorce Filed/Retracted Multiple Times Divorce: scheduled to be final 6/20/17
I hear you guys but this is the ONLY option at this point. I haven't "officially" moved out. I am jut staying somewhere else as she has been doing all along. No difference.
Me: 38 Her: 33 Bomb: 1/6/2017 Separated: 1/10/17 Together: 16 Years Son 12 Years Old She and Son still at the house Divorce Filed/Retracted Multiple Times Divorce: scheduled to be final 6/20/17
I hear you guys but this is the ONLY option at this point. I haven't "officially" moved out. I am jut staying somewhere else as she has been doing all along. No difference.
Im not a lawyer; Id check with yours. To me, this sounds like a dangerous choice for possible future custody negotiations.
Can't leave, dude. Court may consider this abandonment and it will hurt you in a custody case.
as stated before, toss her out. Change the locks when she leaves tonight. go to a home depot and look for "kiwk lock." they come with keys and everything. easy switch.
