Well it can be a real concern -- most states treat pets as "personal property" but more recently some states have awarded joint custody, visitation, and even alimony regarding the custody of pets. I believe only Alaska takes into account the well being of the pet. How it's handled will depend on your state, so if this is a leading concern for you then I highly recommend you do a consultation with a lawyer about what you're trying to achieve and what you should do in the near term.
Generally, people have all kinds of preconceived notions about what they're entitled to going into a divorce, but most of that is based on emotion or what they've heard from other people instead of actual fact. Both my lawyer and my sister's lawyer said that the vast majority of people pretty much land in the same place, the only thing that varies is how much money they burn on the way there with their fighting. You're much better served if you can work something out between the two of you and just have the court rubber stamp it.
No need to fight that battle today however. Talk to a laywer, most will give you a free consultation. Getting educated is always a good thing.
Acc
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
brizz, I am sorry to hear of your wife's behavior. I don't understand how someone can have an affair and then try to justify it. there isn't and will never be justification. While I am 99% sure my H has not had extra-marital activities going on, there is always that hint of wonder, if he is as unhappy as he says he has been.
I too garden, it's my passion and I have seedlings under the grow light inside. I had bought lumber to start making my raise beds, and then my H drops the bomb on me last week. So, now I don't even know if I should build my beds and put any effort into it, because if he does decide its over, I will not be able to keep the house.
brizz, I am sorry to hear of your wife's behavior. I don't understand how someone can have an affair and then try to justify it. there isn't and will never be justification. While I am 99% sure my H has not had extra-marital activities going on, there is always that hint of wonder, if he is as unhappy as he says he has been.
I too garden, it's my passion and I have seedlings under the grow light inside. I had bought lumber to start making my raise beds, and then my H drops the bomb on me last week. So, now I don't even know if I should build my beds and put any effort into it, because if he does decide its over, I will not be able to keep the house.
I'm not sure what will happen with my house either if my W decides to put up a fight or insist it be sold. But I still went out yesterday and bought flowers and vegetables to plant. Do what you enjoy. Building some flower beds is a great GAL activity and will get your mind off of things.
Some minor updates. Our anniversary came and went with no communication from the W. This past Friday evening she texted saying she wanted to come see "my dog" Saturday. I had plans so I told her as much. She replied she could just take the dog for the day. I ignored the text.
Saturday morning she texted saying I was going to have to let her see the dog. I figured between shooting down the idea the previous weekend of her taking the dog for a night and this recent case where I was busy that she would leap to a conclusion that I was barring her from seeing the dog and I was right. Just how her mind works. I responded saying I had plans and I don't have to cancel them just to accommodate her last minute requests to see "my dog" (figured I'd throw in the word "my" just like she had). She replied and said she wasn't asking me to cancel my plans but she wasn't just my dog. Guess only she's allowed to say the dog is her's.
She then sent a couple of other texts regarding taxes that were unnecessary since he already made a plan for handling that. I ignored them. OM's W contacted me for the first time in a while last night to say that my W had texted him Friday evening "You can keep your apology". Not sure what that's about. They were at a couple's retreat working on their MR so it wasn't a welcome distraction.
For myself, I'm continuing seeing my IC and working on GAL. Been doing projects around the house to keep myself busy. Painting, gardening, getting rid of stuff that's been collecting dust for too long. Going to be picking up my old bicycle from my parent's soon and start bicycling.
