Looking for some advice on the depression/ withdrawal stage, my H has been in Mlc since 2014, we have had the denial, anger and replay stages.
July 2016 he started to become very depressed but was still in an emotional relationship with ow, it was then the db came. I remained calm and carried on with my life, h seemed to calm down a little, I do not believe he is in contact with ow now.
During replay he remained loving, but since the depression withdrawal stage he has become unloving, he no longer wants any physical or emotional contact.
February 2017 came and he became very angry again and said he was done and wanted a divorce, again I stayed calm and carried on with my life. he is still living in the house, but has now become very withdrawn, i have spoken to him about this and he says he doesn't know what he wants one day to another, if I get close he puts a wall up and says he needs space to get well. We are pleasant to one another, but there is no emotional relationship at present. At times he talks about the future and family holidays etc which is encouraging,
How long does this stage last? What should I be doing? And is he starting to come out of the tunnel?
You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support). Especially on this Newcomers forum, where the posting activity is very active, and your posts can quickly fall to the bottom of the page or even several pages down. Keep journaling and asking questions - people will come! Most important - POST!
Get out and Get a Life (GAL). DETACH.
Believe none of what he or she says and half of what he/she does.
Have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.
Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.
Here are a few links to threads that will help you immensely:
I believe OW was around from April 2015- June 2016, I do not believe it was a physical affair. I have detached and have given him space, the only time I have tried to talk to him is when he has been low and tearful and withdrawn.
Thanks guys it's like walking on eggshells at the moment, I'm just taking it day by day, Some days are good and I can see a glimmer of the man I married, other days I see an angry man, other days a sad man that looks like he can't cope.
Some days are good and I can see a glimmer of the man I married, other days I see an angry man, other days a sad man that looks like he can't cope.
Roo,
In the case of affective disorders, sometimes you can use behavioral shaping. On bad days you can hit him on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper and scold him. On good days, you can give him some peanut butter or a small piece of cheese and praise him.
Doodler I often feel like hitting him with a newspaper 😂 Is it possible for the replay, depression and withdrawal stage to run together? Also it's our 22nd wedding anniversary next weekend should I ignore the day?
