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doodler #2735446 03/22/17 08:43 AM
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LOL... whack-a-mole... I do like that mallet... and the wacky music.

So aside from the fun family games you mentioned, you think continuing to go to these outings would be ok. Not necessary to avoid these to help detachment issues?


Me 42, Wife 39; Married 16; Together 17; Kids: D13, S10
Wife asks for Divorce: 03/19/13
Reconcile: 07/07/13
Round 2 Starts: 02/19/17
Apartment Life: 04/21/17
PA Confirmed: 05/23/17
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Tryin,

I honestly don't know what's best. If it were me, and my kids were involved, I'd be there and make the best of the occasion (i.e. no arguing or fighting). But, every situation is different. I think you should just use your judgement at the given time.

doodler #2735455 03/22/17 09:16 AM
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Originally Posted By: doodler
If it were me, and my kids were involved, I'd be there and make the best of the occasion

AGREED

Be the BEST DAD you can be, you can never go wrong doing that!

It is very attractive too!


Me-70, D37,S36
Cadet #2735470 03/22/17 10:33 AM
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Thanks Doodler and Cadet.

I feel like my kids have already been enjoying me more over the past few weeks. Since I've been more open to talk about my depression, it's created some "cleaner air" that I'm breathing. Does not make this any easier, but it helps.


Me 42, Wife 39; Married 16; Together 17; Kids: D13, S10
Wife asks for Divorce: 03/19/13
Reconcile: 07/07/13
Round 2 Starts: 02/19/17
Apartment Life: 04/21/17
PA Confirmed: 05/23/17
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Looking forward to an evening with an old buddy of mine tonight to catch up. He's one of my best friends from High School and always calls it like it is.

When my W and I reconciled, his concern was exactly what's happening right now that we'd right back where we are. I'm curious what he's going to think of my updated status.

Hoping to have a few frosty adult beverages and then I'm taking a few days off of work for some spring cleaning around the house. We've got a deadline at work coming up and could use some downtime. Hoping it will be therapeutic to clean up.


Me 42, Wife 39; Married 16; Together 17; Kids: D13, S10
Wife asks for Divorce: 03/19/13
Reconcile: 07/07/13
Round 2 Starts: 02/19/17
Apartment Life: 04/21/17
PA Confirmed: 05/23/17
Joined: Mar 2013
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Had dinner with my buddy last night and it was nice to catch up. He was my closest friend in high school and we went different paths after college/marriage. He and his wife chose no kids and we have our beautiful two munchkins (my D13 would give me that teenage stare right now for calling her a munchkin).

Great conversation and just a nice night to be and GAL.

Going to put in our application for the apartment we will be sharing over the next year. Can't move in until early May but that's good for the kids. We've already talked to them about this and it's been ok so far.

Our shared apartment might be unconventional, but it's much better than moving in with my parents on "away" nights. Did that last time and it was really, really difficult. My parents liked to create this "bubble" world for me where there were no issues or where issues were ignored. In their minds, they were protecting me, but it actually created some of the challenges in my relationships now. Not dealing with issues does not make them go away.

At my parent's house, when sh*t did hit the fan, I could walk in the house and there would not be a light on in the house. My parents would just sulk until the initial pain would go over and then they'd move forward. What have I done in the past, I'll soak in all the pain and just try to swallow it like a big pill and not deal, so not far off from what they would do.

What is it that allows this to happen. Lack of confidence and self-esteem are definitely triggers for me. Fear is definitely there. All these things are pieces of me that can be challenged and overcome. I know this. Doesn't make it easy to do, but I do know this. I also know that with or without my W they will be important things to overcome for future relationships and for my relationship with my kids.

Does anyone have any good suggestions on how to process these emotions and overcome them in their experiences?


Me 42, Wife 39; Married 16; Together 17; Kids: D13, S10
Wife asks for Divorce: 03/19/13
Reconcile: 07/07/13
Round 2 Starts: 02/19/17
Apartment Life: 04/21/17
PA Confirmed: 05/23/17
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 3,952
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Originally Posted By: Tryin2figuritout
Does anyone have any good suggestions on how to process these emotions and overcome them in their experiences?


Tryin,

I worked on home projects, bought hundreds (maybe thousands) of dollars worth of plants and ate copious amounts of hummus. The home projects and plants worked out fairly well, but the hummus created chronic farting and irate coworkers.

doodler #2735715 03/23/17 09:43 AM
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Doodler,

Understand the hummus eating. It really goes well with everything. I think I'm gonna break open some Sabra right now.

Surprised my S10 by stopping by for lunch with him at school. Really made my day and by the looks of it his.


Me 42, Wife 39; Married 16; Together 17; Kids: D13, S10
Wife asks for Divorce: 03/19/13
Reconcile: 07/07/13
Round 2 Starts: 02/19/17
Apartment Life: 04/21/17
PA Confirmed: 05/23/17
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 3,952
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Originally Posted By: Tryin2figuritout
Surprised my S10 by stopping by for lunch with him at school. Really made my day and by the looks of it his.


I always loved having lunch with my sons at school. I didn't do enough of that.

doodler #2735736 03/23/17 10:36 AM
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Doodler, pick up the bat phone


There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
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