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Hey Jeep, good to hear from you. I'm a little confused, what's a jeep guy doing on the Tacoma site? I had a 2001 TJ for about 13 yrs, then a few years ago sold it and got a Tundra, so I can often be found on the tundra site trying to figure out my next mod.

Anyway, it is amazing how things can change, a year and half ago all I wanted was to save my M, and today I signed up for a concealed carry class on Saturday, and passed a Harley dealership while out at lunch and decided I'm going to take a riding class soon. It dawned on me, that my life has been better and I've done more this last year than I did in the previous 5. I never would have believed it, but BD, and subsequently DB'ng, was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I don't think I have trust issues, I guess I won't really know until I need to trust someone, but if I find someone who compliments me well (and I will be picky) I will have a life that would have never happened in my old M.


M - 9 1/2 years
5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA
10/31/16 - We sold house
01/10/18 - D Finalized
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Hi Jeep! So glad things are going well for you. Life has a funny way of working things out for us, doesn't it? I totally understand your trust issues though. I just had that discussion with someone recently and I'm fairly convinced that it is going to take a REALLY, REALLY long time for me to completely trust again. Time does erase a lot of crap and for that, I am most grateful.

Keep on keepin' on, Jeep and don't be a stranger. smile


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
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Haha. Jeep was a name for here only. I drive a Tacoma. lol.

I hear you. This year has been awesome. Like you, I've done more in this year than the past 10, really. I have my CCP, too.

Life is good. Finances are in order. All's good in the Jeep household. Better than I'd ever have imagined. Except trust. That still bites.


There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
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Welcome back Jeep! We've missed you. I've merged your two threads together for you.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Jeep,

You stir up trouble and you don't play by the rules. You've been sorely missed; welcome back.

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Originally Posted By: doodler
Jeep,

You stir up trouble and you don't play by the rules. You've been sorely missed; welcome back.



Doodler, my old friend! How the h@ll are ya?

Never been one to play by the rules. Thanks man. Things are great. Work is good. The kids are great. Life couldn't be better. Well, I guess it could be better, but considering where things were I came from recently, I'll take it.

Now, I know you love the HQ updates. She moved to the area and works nearby. We've had ups and downs as all do, and its looking good. She is incredible. Great with the kids and loves them dearly - although she is keeping a distance from them for now so as not to confuse them and all. But we've all gone to the movies and they call her Ms. Harley. Lol

Life is good, my friend. Thanks for stopping by!

Last edited by job; 01/25/18 08:13 AM. Reason: edited a word

There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
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I have a confession to make. Some of you will remember me talking about Birthday Party Girl (BPG). Well, that was a long, convoluted story that lasted much longer than it should have. I kept this hidden and only a select few know of this story, but I need to get it off my chest.

I became what we all hate in here. Yes, the OM. Our exes cheated and we were so self righteous about it. Stood on our high horse and quick to condemn them and belittle them to any who would listen. Maybe Terrill was a lesson for me - and one I'm going to share with you.

See, it didn't start out that way. When I met and starting talking with BPG, she said they were separated. Turns out they were still married. The first time I laid eyes on her was at the school Christmas party back in 2016, said a few hi's and small talk. I remember thinking that this is one gorgeous woman. She was much younger than me, 27 at the time. But a few months later, the birthday party came along. We talked the entire time and honestly I don't remember anyone else being there. I gave her my number but she never called. Then the school Easter party came along and she was there. We talked more. It's like we'd known each other forever. We got along better than anyone I've ever experienced, save one. I asked her to lunch. She said no.

Then, later that month, there was another school function. This time my ex wife was there to see the kids. BPG was jealous. We talked forever and sort of left the ex by herself. She called me King Arthur because I was persistent. And I called her my Guinevere. Somehow that statement made her eyes light up. She friended me on Facebook. Then the conversations took off - thousands of texts, emails, and calls - we talked all the time. The more we talked, the more we found we had in common. She was my parallel - it soon became obvious that there was more than just a little connection.

I remember that day she first came to my house. We talked for an hour in the driveway. There was a tension there that was undeniable. She was standing just close enough that if one of us had made a move then, the gates would have burst open. She stood there looking up into my eyes, and me into hers. Nothing was said. I don't know how long we stood like that, but it was forever and yet it was a second. Then we started talking.

Time passed and she came over more and more. Every day. That's when I found out she was married - she confessed it to me, along with her love for me. Her marriage was ending (I found that out to be a fact later). By then, I was in too deep. My heart opened for her. So we kept on.

Then one day we crossed the line permanently. I remember the first time we made love. The passion between us was so great that it was like we couldn't get any closer. And I remember how we couldn't get enough of each other, even though we were in the middle of amazing sex.

She was like a drug. I couldn't get enough of her and loved her strongly. Almost on the HQ level.

I can remember that Saturday we were laying in bed. She was laying on top of me with her face so close to mine that I could count every freckle and trace every line. We were just talking - and we talked of marriage. We talked of how our kids got along so great - her oldest son is my son's best friend. She wanted to get her tubal reversed so we could have another kid. Gawd I loved her. Honest.

I also remember the day our affair broke. That was a horrendous day. Even though her Mom and family knew - and my family - no one else did. The world collapsed. Yet we stayed strong. She had to flee for her life. He was put in jail.

Our last night together in her new apartment is one that burns in my mind. I didn't know it would be the last day that I'd see her again. I can remember it so vividly. We were in bed and she were laying on my shoulder. And we talked about how finally it was real and in the open between us. And we talked about getting married. Little did she know that I had secretly been planning a trip to Sevierville...a trip to celebrate our "official" togetherness. She told me she was madly in love with me and that finally found the one who made her whole.

Then the next day happened. The day that everything came crashing down. The day I lost BPG. I fully believe that we could have made it. But, it is what it is.

So, you see, as much as we want to hate the OP, sometimes things happen for a reason and a lesson. My lesson? I judged too much. I don't think that the saying that there is a right/wrong time for a love to come into one's life is true - had I not made those mistakes, BPG and I would still be here.

*All this was before HQ came back.


There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
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Wow, your description makes me want to feel that again.. I agree that most of us go through a long phase of self righteousness after BD, the fact is that by the time an A happens there is generally a lot of unhappiness by both parties in the M, and for me, all I had left was "I was unhappy too, but I didn't cheat".

I've also seen a lot of people talk about being caught up in an inappropriate relationship after BD, I know for me I fell hard and fast for a woman I used to work with. We didn't have any kind of R but we would of if I hadn't found out she was M; we just went through the thousands of texts, calls, messages, etc." When I found out she was M, it was the hardest thing to tell her that it all had to stop, and took me a few tries to actually quite her.

I understand how easy an emotional connection can start and flourish, and it took me a month or two to start getting past what had occurred with my ex and OM; but what really got me was her inability or refusal to refocus on us and the M after BD; her continual lies/deceit/blaming, etc., that's when my hate for OM dissipated and my anger manifested towards her. I still feel self righteous in a way, but not because I didn't cheat, but because I was willing to do anything I could to move past it and rebuild.

I'm curious as to what happened the day everything came crashing down with BPG, but it's your life to share or not. When you said that you felt more of a connection with her than anyone else, save for 1, I'm assuming you're referring to HQ and if so, good on you for where you are now.


M - 9 1/2 years
5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA
10/31/16 - We sold house
01/10/18 - D Finalized
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Admin, can you replace her name in the second paragraph with BPG? Thanks!


There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
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Quote:
I've also seen a lot of people talk about being caught up in an inappropriate relationship after BD, I know for me I fell hard and fast for a woman I used to work with. We didn't have any kind of R but we would of if I hadn't found out she was M; we just went through the thousands of texts, calls, messages, etc." When I found out she was M, it was the hardest thing to tell her that it all had to stop, and took me a few tries to actually quite her.


I tried to leave a couple of times, but she pulled me back in. I grew to love her. I still think we could have made it.

Quote:
I'm curious as to what happened the day everything came crashing down with BPG, but it's your life to share or not. When you said that you felt more of a connection with her than anyone else, save for 1, I'm assuming you're referring to HQ and if so, good on you for where you are now.


Long story. But I'll make it short and sweet. See, I'm 47. When I first saw her I about tripped over myself. Perfect woman, appearance-wise. Maybe shorter than what I'm used to - she was 5'1" - but she was an athlete through and through. Very beautiful - one of those types you put up on the wall and take down every now and then and look at. Extremely gorgeous, inside and out. Since I was 46 at the time, I found out she was 27 at the party. I had to get to know her. So I fibbed about my age, thinking if I were 5 years younger, she'd not mind it as much. Turns out that was the least of my worries. She actually likes older men - I'm in great shape with salt n pepper hair (along with some brown) - because that's pretty much what her family knows...the husbands are all much older than their wives.

But, the downfall was this - she, as I, hates liars. Period. I never expected us to make it to the level we did. I never expected each of us to love each other, but we did. I wanted to tell her for so long but each time I got the nerve up, I chickened out for fear of losing her. That Friday after that last night I spent with her, her soon to be ex husband told her how old I was. She defended me as only a person truly in love would...and when she asked if it were true, with tears in her voice, I admitted it. That was the straw. She questioned everything then and rightly so. Had I not lied I'm sure things would be different. Lesson learned.


There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
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