I think the fat lady has sung for me. I'm trying to make sure that I hear her loud and clear. Because I went through a very amicable divorce, and I still have frequent contact w/ my ex due to parenting issues -- we're pretty collaborative/cooperative as of now -- I don't trust myself that I'm really hearing the fat lady sing.
Sorry if the fat lady expression is offensive to some.
The thing that I've been thinking about is this: in one of the posts in the MLC forum, I read someone's post about keeping the road back to the marriage smoothly paved. What does that mean? For my own emotional health, I'm thinking I shouldn't keep anything paved smooth; but rather I should burn all my emotional bridges so that I don't fool myself, that I clearly move on.
Would like y'all's thoughts on this.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
I read someone's post about keeping the road back to the marriage smoothly paved. What does that mean? For my own emotional health, I'm thinking I shouldn't keep anything paved smooth; but rather I should burn all my emotional bridges so that I don't fool myself, that I clearly move on.
Welcome to the other side, Gump.
To me, that means that while you are traveling down your own road, make sure that you make yours inviting to her and not closed off. I'm afraid that maybe I did just that in mine by getting what I did in the divorce. Oh well, lessons learned.
Sometimes you just have to burn some bridges to create distance.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
To me, I think keeping the road home paved and smooth is living you life just as you want and need to for yourself. it means not causing any uneccesary angst and anger. Not doing anything out of hurt and betrayal.
What does burning emotional bridges look like to you?
Probably one big thing about burning the emotional bridge is to see other people.
You'll find that even a coffee date will work wonders. It sort of validates us as being worthy again after being beaten down so badly in this process.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
FG. I have no advice for you but am wishing you the best in this next step. I know you will do great for you and those kids.
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
For me the fat lady sang very early. I knew that I did not want to be abused and cheated on. The fat lady sang Warner Ring in a very loud projection. Not even the deaf would miss it.
Are the bridges burned? Yes and the Gigalo ran a scorched earth policy.
To self protect and rebalance our lives sometimes this is necessary.
When kids are involved this may not be possible until D is finished and custody established.
I haven't been able to date yet as the fin part of my D isn't complete. That assumes that there are dates to go on.
Welcome to Surviving. Live in the slower Lane.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Hey FG -- hope you're doing well, and that your children are settling into a good routine and adapting.
Me: 46 W: 44 Married: 17 Together 21 D13; S10 BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you) Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
FG- as far as dating goes, you go ahead and do that when you feel as if you are really ready to. When you stop holding onto hope. Dating does not burn a bridge. If it is meant to happen it will. You need to live your life as if she isn't coming back. You can't go on forever like she is.
Dating isn't burning bridges. However, going out can work wonders for the soul. Sometimes, burning bridges is the only way to create distance.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
