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It just upsets me so much coming from her. Anyone else in this world can call me every name in the book and it wouldn't bother me one bit. Hearing some of the things she has said to me just strikes so hard in my heart. I'm afraid that eventually I am going to resent the woman I once loved because of her actions and become cold towards OW as well.


You should have heard the names mine called me during mediation. Good times.


There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
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Quote:
You should have heard the names mine called me during mediation. Good times.


Did you bother calling her any names back?


M: 37 W: 36
T: 16 M: 11
D2: 8,3
PA: 2015
WAW: 2016
W Filed: 2017
2/07/2017 W officially dating OM2
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Originally Posted By: SAL27
Quote:
You should have heard the names mine called me during mediation. Good times.


Did you bother calling her any names back?



Not at all. I learned a long time ago how to deal with that. And the mediator saw it - and through it - all.


There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
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Bdog37 Offline OP
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I just think its childish to sit there and call each other names. Still don't hide the fact that it hurts hearing her say all this...ugh!


M: 37 W: 36
T: 16 M: 11
D2: 8,3
PA: 2015
WAW: 2016
W Filed: 2017
2/07/2017 W officially dating OM2
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Journaling/venting

It has been a week since I last vented on here and oh my how much can happen in a week. My STBEW has made it very difficult for me to keep my cool. I am trying to take the high road, for the kids sake, but last night was my breaking point. I am done playing the victim and being blamed for her A. Apart from very serious physical and emotional abuse, I can never see a good reason for a S to cheat. It is the single most worst thing you can do to someone you loved and last night I let her know that.

Her insults barely fazed me last night. Crazy how in a week I have gone from being hurt by what she says to now totally not having a single f*** to give. She is trying to blame me for her actions and its just wrong. Once again, she brought up my neglectfulness towards her and the kids during our M. I responded with that is still not deserving to be cheated on by the one you love. I'm no longer going to be responsible for her actions.

I am so done with her its not even funny. There are women out there that will treat me the way I deserve to be treated and never do what she has done. My only regret is that I didn't have the b**** to D her when I found out about the A. This woman has turned into such a monster that I no longer feel any love for her whatsoever. The unfortunate part in all this is that I will have to deal with her for the rest of my life because of the children. No matter how much I hate who she has become, I still know they need her and I will never take that away from them. The really sad part is that her actions/words have indicated to me that she desires her freedom more than being even being a mother. The kids do not deserve that, but luckily they will always have me.

I also have a meeting with my L today and I know I hired the right guy. He is going to really squeeze her in court in regards to all the credit card issues. I have confidence that the judge is going to see I'm in the right and I won't have to pay for what she is seeking. If there is any justice in the world then I won't have to, but you never know. I have been very civil with this W, but after what she said last night I believe this is going to turn ugly. Oh well, it is what it is. There is still one issue that I am hoping to receive good news from him later today.....wish me luck!


M: 37 W: 36
T: 16 M: 11
D2: 8,3
PA: 2015
WAW: 2016
W Filed: 2017
2/07/2017 W officially dating OM2
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Quote:
Her insults barely fazed me last night. Crazy how in a week I have gone from being hurt by what she says to now totally not having a single f*** to give. She is trying to blame me for her actions and its just wrong. Once again, she brought up my neglectfulness towards her and the kids during our M. I responded with that is still not deserving to be cheated on by the one you love. I'm no longer going to be responsible for her actions.


Isn't it refreshing when you don't have a single f*** to give? Puts things in a whole new perspective, eh? They make up "neglectful" stuff to justify...

Quote:
I have been very civil with this W, but after what she said last night I believe this is going to turn ugly.


I thought civil was the way to go, too. Until she came out swinging for the fences...but, my lawyer saw through that, too. Tore her a new one. I'm still smiling inside over that.

Hope you get the good news, my friend.


There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
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Bdog37 Offline OP
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[quoteIsn't it refreshing when you don't have a single f*** to give? Puts things in a whole new perspective, eh? They make up "neglectful" stuff to justify...
][/quote]

So true brother, so true! Funny how she was "reaching" for bad stuff to say about me. None of it is an excuse to do what she did.

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I thought civil was the way to go, too. Until she came out swinging for the fences...but, my lawyer saw through that, too. Tore her a new one. I'm still smiling inside over that.


Haha, that's awesome! I'm sure its not the way you wanted to go, but when they decide to become ugly you have to take action to defend yourself. I would have been happy with being very fair to her, but those days are over. No more Mr. Nice Guy lol.

Thanks brother and I'm confident I will get the good news I seek today. There has to be a shining light in all this.


M: 37 W: 36
T: 16 M: 11
D2: 8,3
PA: 2015
WAW: 2016
W Filed: 2017
2/07/2017 W officially dating OM2
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 2,937
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Haha, that's awesome! I'm sure its not the way you wanted to go, but when they decide to become ugly you have to take action to defend yourself. I would have been happy with being very fair to her, but those days are over. No more Mr. Nice Guy lol.


No, its not. She came out swinging. I mean, no holds bard...and the things that came out of her mouth were unlike any I've ever heard. Same type of stuff that countless friends have told me. That's why I always say be prepared and protect yourself, just because you two may agree to be amicable during the proceedings doesn't mean it will happen. Case in point, my ex said yeah, we'll be civil and friendly and all. However, when it came time to go to court and all, she had staged pictures of the house to make it look unlivable for the kids and had stated that I was not of right, or sound, mind...never mind the fact that my lawyer had six suicidal texts she had sent me. He tore her a new one...

I don't say be mean, but do protect yourself. This isn't a game. And, don't give in to her guilt trips or whatever thinking that will bring you favor...


There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
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SAL27, I am new here and don't know your story. I do know this from first-hand experience, emotions in lawsuits equal money. While if you have been a victim of fraud you have a right to deal with that, keep in mind that emotions can escalate the result. No one wins in a lawsuit, except the lawyers. My suggestion would be to process your emotions and feel the wrong you have endured, but communicate only facts to your lawyer (I did not open this account, Judge so and so referred my W to her L, etc) and be certain of the outcome you want to achieve (do you want a quick D, a cheap D, no D, etc). Some will help you and others won't. Not all facts have equal relevance to the fact-finder determining your outcome. There is a big difference between being right about something and being happy with the result you achieve. Best of luck to you.

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Bdog37 Offline OP
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Hello OwnIt and sorry you are here.

Thank you for your advise. I have been very open with my L in regards to the facts. Its not that I want to "destroy" her for doing what she did to me, but I do need to protect myself. STBEW is the same as most by saying she is going to be civil, but showing otherwise. I never wanted a D in the first place, but I am not going to lie down and let her walk all over me.... All the while grabbing everything she can get her hands on while doing so.

Personally possessions mean little to me, but the property we share is a big concern. My dying father willed the house to my sister's and I, but stressed how much he wanted my W and I to have it before he passed away. My sisters agreed and signed over their portion in order for us to have a better home located in a much better neighborhood. It is actually the house that I grew up in so it also has some sentimental value to me as well. Ex told me originally that she wants nothing to do with it, but now see's the value and has turned greedy. I'm sure some of it was due to her L advising her how much she can get, but now my repeated attempts to "buy her out" has failed due to it not being enough for her. Again, I was more willing to be fair in the beginning, but I will exercise every right I have to keep the house so that my kids will have a safe and loving home to grow up in.

The law is the law and you can't change that so hopefully, if there is any justice in this world, I will be able to come to an agreeable arrangement that will benefit us both...but we all know how it usually turns out in most cases.


M: 37 W: 36
T: 16 M: 11
D2: 8,3
PA: 2015
WAW: 2016
W Filed: 2017
2/07/2017 W officially dating OM2
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