The difference in paperwork, is that prosay divorce is us agreeing to everything like best friends without lawyers or a drawn out process. Right now my lawyer has already drafted up seperation papers, hes just sitting on them for now, i actually gave hime the green light to file them last week but now im hesitant. My mom says to file now before she can save up or do more damage to me. Idk. Im not sure if me filing would even phase her, or is it me taking the burden off her...? Its been 6mths since BD and she seems hellbent on avoiding me and speeding off with OM... What are ur guys thoughts, i kinda hope her speeding away means a more speedy crash of her fantasy.
BH:30 WW:30 T:12 M:5 D7 S4 BD 7-28-16 S 8-28-16 3-15-17 wife filed 3-17-17 OM joint files with his wife
Well with valentines day coming up my mind has got me thinking. Should i post a valentines thing up on facebook like all the other happy couples do, make my wife squirm a bit... Do i get her a card since she is still my wife..? Idk. Her change of address just came in the mail, little things like tt should pale in comparison to her sleeping and living with another man, but still bugs me. I still love the woman i married but this isnt her, she has gone missing, is she dead or still alive? I wont know until i see the fog lift.
The difference in paperwork, is that prosay divorce is us agreeing to everything like best friends without lawyers or a drawn out process. Right now my lawyer has already drafted up seperation papers, hes just sitting on them for now, i actually gave hime the green light to file them last week but now im hesitant. My mom says to file now before she can save up or do more damage to me. Idk. Im not sure if me filing would even phase her, or is it me taking the burden off her...? Its been 6mths since BD and she seems hellbent on avoiding me and speeding off with OM... What are ur guys thoughts, i kinda hope her speeding away means a more speedy crash of her fantasy.
In a sense, your Mom is correct. Filing first is advantageous. Mine had her lawyer draw up papers but wouldn't file. Due to where she was stationed, I waited until the last week before the jurisdiction period was up and filed. That way, it forced things to stay in this home county where the kids are, which helped immensely.
Speeding off...well, at six months after BD in my case my ex was telling the OM that he was her future husband. Her fantasy with him will live until its blown up...either by you or someone else.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Well with valentines day coming up my mind has got me thinking. Should i post a valentines thing up on facebook like all the other happy couples do, make my wife squirm a bit... Do i get her a card since she is still my wife..? Idk. Her change of address just came in the mail, little things like tt should pale in comparison to her sleeping and living with another man, but still bugs me. I still love the woman i married but this isnt her, she has gone missing, is she dead or still alive? I wont know until i see the fog lift.
What purpose would "making her squirm" do, other than make you look like a fool in her eyes? Sorry to put it that way, but there is no need to sugarcoat it. So here is the hammer - if she is sleeping and living with another man, DO NOT send her a card or even acknowledge her on this day. To her, that would seem like the stalkerish ex-boyfriend who won't leave her alone. You have the answers you seek in your statement.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I get that my mom and lawyer are correct, but my goal isnt to have the most advantage in a divorce. And since nothing was filed earlier i cant undo certain things shes done with the kids and OM.
I have no intentions of sending her anything for Vday Evil minnie me wanted to just put something on fb not to profess love but more as sarcasm, especially since she has been very silent with nearly everyone regarding her affair. i know its not right and i probably wont, but one can ponder.
Every day i wonder why this is happening to me/us. Not sure what i did to upset karma but i think ive suffered plenty for any of my sins. I dont deserve this, my kids dont deserve this, nobody deserves this. Some sitches have the waffling back n forth, that would come as a temporary relief to me. Not once has my wife seemed to look back.
BH:30 WW:30 T:12 M:5 D7 S4 BD 7-28-16 S 8-28-16 3-15-17 wife filed 3-17-17 OM joint files with his wife
I took a moment to talk with wife the other day, initially about our sons, but then she spewed and i defended.... In the conversation she said she hasnt filed because she hasnt had the time. Then went on to still try n say that we can do it without lawyers, and then that she wouldnt be able to afford a lawyer or court appointed attorney.
BH:30 WW:30 T:12 M:5 D7 S4 BD 7-28-16 S 8-28-16 3-15-17 wife filed 3-17-17 OM joint files with his wife
I took a moment to talk with wife the other day, initially about our sons, but then she spewed and i defended.... In the conversation she said she hasnt filed because she hasnt had the time. Then went on to still try n say that we can do it without lawyers, and then that she wouldnt be able to afford a lawyer or court appointed attorney.
I'm sorry the conversation didn't go well. In no way would I not get a lawyer. Don't fall for her trick, otherwise it will backfire. Immensely. If she can't afford one, that's her problem. She wanted this and she will have to deal with it. Not all of can afford one upfront, but we do what we have to in order to protect ourselves.
Keep it up!
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Ive retained my lawyer even paid him to draft up stuff for filing. But have him sitting on it. I wasnt doing well after the converstation. I could feel my face twitching as i tried to talk to her. I dont get how she thinks id work with her and trust her in a prosay divorce when shes been nothing but cold n hostile last few months.
BH:30 WW:30 T:12 M:5 D7 S4 BD 7-28-16 S 8-28-16 3-15-17 wife filed 3-17-17 OM joint files with his wife
Every day i wonder why this is happening to me/us. Not sure what i did to upset karma but i think ive suffered plenty for any of my sins. I dont deserve this, my kids dont deserve this, nobody deserves this. Some sitches have the waffling back n forth, that would come as a temporary relief to me. Not once has my wife seemed to look back.
^^^^^I think we all feel the same way.
WW's follow the same script and get cold/hostile towards us, but don't let that stand in your way of protecting yourself. Think it was wise obtaining the L for yourself and if she complains about not being able to afford one on her own then just tell her you're sorry but this is what she wanted not you.
M: 37 W: 36 T: 16 M: 11 D2: 8,3 PA: 2015 WAW: 2016 W Filed: 2017 2/07/2017 W officially dating OM2
Ive retained my lawyer even paid him to draft up stuff for filing. But have him sitting on it. I wasnt doing well after the converstation. I could feel my face twitching as i tried to talk to her. I dont get how she thinks id work with her and trust her in a prosay divorce when shes been nothing but cold n hostile last few months.
I didn't do well after my initial conversation, either. That was tough. But, you did the right thing. Protect yourself. And try to look at it like it is a business dealing, because in all honesty, that's what it is.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
