Let me just re-phrase what you wrote slightly. He has to keep moving forward.
He will decide when it is time to move on.
I can live with that.
Moving forward is just what the butterfly analogy is all about. For now, he's squeezing the life out of that butterfly. We've all done it...and I'll be the first to raise my hand. However, if he doesn't open his and release it, it will never come back to alight.
YUP
And now that we used up his thread - he will need to start a new one
You often talk like there is no hope of her coming back. So, when you say "use this time wisely", it makes me wonder why it matters so much to use this time wisely.
There is always a chance, until You decide there isn't. It sounds like your state has 1yr separation period? If so, that's what Jeep means by use your time wisely. You have a whole year to gal, get your sh!t together and become someone only a fool would leave. I wish my state would have had that. Take this time to do something different. Cut your hair, get out of the house and be seen. Do something you have never done before. Your wife will take notice, but she can't take notice if you are always trying to figure out why she did what she did. That my friend we will never know. You have got to live as if she doesn't exist, as hard as that is. Become interested in YOU and what you want. Quit analyzing, it is going to drive you insane!! The only thing you can control is You. It's tough as he!!, I know. I lost my Dad, who was my best friend, 3 weeks ago. I couldn't even mourn the loss of him because I was still obsessed with my WW and doing the same things you are doing right now. That's no way to live brother. Keep your chin up, you can do it.
I'm so sorry about your dad.. and your wife leaving you.. Thanks for the encouragement.
M: 33, W: 30 @BD M 7, T 10 BD: Early Dec W left: Late Dec W got stuff: Late Jan W sent S papers: Mid Feb OM cnfrmd: Late Feb
Pain can yield tremendous growth OR everlasting sadness and bitterness.
