Re closure, I think you have to accept that your WS may not ever "give" you closure, by telling you about the why and the how, etc., but I think you can give it to yourself, over time.
Me: 46 W: 44 Married: 17 Together 21 D13; S10 BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you) Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
Re closure, I think you have to accept that your WS may not ever "give" you closure, by telling you about the why and the how, etc., but I think you can give it to yourself, over time.
Ya, I pretty much given up on getting closure from her. Think my closure on all this will be the fact that I have done everything I could to save my M. So in the end I can honestly say I feel better about myself than she eventually will.
M: 37 W: 36 T: 16 M: 11 D2: 8,3 PA: 2015 WAW: 2016 W Filed: 2017 2/07/2017 W officially dating OM2
So in the end I can honestly say I feel better about myself than she eventually will
Feeling better about yourself is what its all about.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
And maybe just that you picked someone not capable of having and keeping alive a relationship of which you can be a part. It happens. People change. Sometimes that's just the answer. And, with time and space and growth, knowing and accepting the answer = "closure". Also called "acceptance" in the Kubler-Ross stages of grief model.
The more I think on it, I'm not sure anyone else really CAN give you closure. They can behave in ways that help you get there quicker, or they may not, but it's your journey, and you'll get there when you get there.
Me: 46 W: 44 Married: 17 Together 21 D13; S10 BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you) Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
The more I think on it, I'm not sure anyone else really CAN give you closure. They can behave in ways that help you get there quicker, or they may not, but it's your journey, and you'll get there when you get there.
I believe you are right. Not many will come out with all the answers. Maybe closure just lies within one's own self.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
The more I think on it, I'm not sure anyone else really CAN give you closure. They can behave in ways that help you get there quicker, or they may not, but it's your journey, and you'll get there when you get there.
Pretty much, but there will always be questions that only she can answer and I know I will never get them. That is what will always bug me. Not sure if getting those answers would constitute as closure for me or not, but it would surely help.
M: 37 W: 36 T: 16 M: 11 D2: 8,3 PA: 2015 WAW: 2016 W Filed: 2017 2/07/2017 W officially dating OM2
Pretty much, but there will always be questions that only she can answer and I know I will never get them. That is what will always bug me. Not sure if getting those answers would constitute as closure for me or not, but it would surely help.
Just some things I learned I'll never find out...the ex won't go into everything and there are many unanswered questions. It is what it is, I guess.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Well I have been served....let the madness begin. I knew this year was going to be tough, but I will get through it and come out stronger in the end!
Ever since wife has been seeing OM2 she has pushed me to have the kids more. She texted me last night and told me that I will now have the kids tomorrow night. This is technically not my night with them, but I later discovered through our mutual friend that she has another date with OM2. I am more than happy to take the kids when it is not my scheduled days, but it upset me that she seems like she doesn't want to be a mother anymore. I finally called her out and let her know that I'm aware of OM2 via text and that she should not put him before her children. She, of course, denied doing such a thing. It really saddens me that now she doesn't have time for our children. Like they have to suffer for her mistakes now? They do not deserve this just like I did not deserve this. She would rather go out and party than be a mother. I guess I should be grateful that I will have the children more, but again....I'm sad for them.
M: 37 W: 36 T: 16 M: 11 D2: 8,3 PA: 2015 WAW: 2016 W Filed: 2017 2/07/2017 W officially dating OM2
She texted me last night and told me that I will now have the kids tomorrow night. This is technically not my night with them, but I later discovered through our mutual friend that she has another date with OM2. I am more than happy to take the kids when it is not my scheduled days, but it upset me that she seems like she doesn't want to be a mother anymore. I finally called her out and let her know that I'm aware of OM2 via text and that she should not put him before her children. She, of course, denied doing such a thing. It really saddens me that now she doesn't have time for our children. Like they have to suffer for her mistakes now? They do not deserve this just like I did not deserve this. She would rather go out and party than be a mother. I guess I should be grateful that I will have the children more, but again....I'm sad for them.
Keep every single text/email concerning stuff like this - it can help you in custody. You are absolutely right, neither they nor us deserve this. Its our job to provide the strongest, most stable rock we can for them. I'm heartbroken for my kids...
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
