Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 9 of 10 1 2 7 8 9 10
kml #2704710 09/16/16 01:40 PM
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,910
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,910
Well I was paying rent to him directly but now we have a combined checking account. It was just easier that way. I pay 1/2 the rent, water, electrical, gas, groceries, etc. my expenses are higher now actually than they were before I moved in with him.

I don't have an issue consulting an attorney but I certainly don't want to end up paying a lot of money to an attorney when I may be remarried in less than a year.

WH


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,910
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,910
And I intend to have child support reviewed as well. But since my maintenance amount was dependent on my child support and vice Versa, wouldn't the court look into it anyway?

WH


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,910
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,910
So I'm back peeps. I went to court Monday with X for his request to terminate maintenance. He was denied. He is mad again, of course. Called me and stated he is going to appeal and take it to the judge for a de novo review...similar to what happened when I was ordered to leave the marital home.

He wanted to "warn" me that if he goes through with this de novo hearing, there is a chance the judge will make me pay back all the maintenance he has paid me since he filed this request in September. I know it's a threat. I've already contacted a lawyer. We will see what the chance of that happening is. There is always a chance, I guess. But what is the likelihood?

He says it is completely unfair that I am living within my means and he is struggling. He says the courts are biased and unfair. In his own words, they are "a joke".

The court commissioner determined he still earns 66% of the income while I only make 34%. She told him his debt is his problem and he can't get out of his obligation to me because he has too much debt. She said if I was entitled to NG's house and other assets it would be a different story, but I'm not because we are not married.

Just goes to show you it's been 3 years post divorce and he's still as crazy as ever, if not crazier. He tried to bring up the unfairness of the divorce property division and she told him that was all a mute point. Now he's absolutely spinning.

I guess I've lived through it this long. Just another hill on the roller coaster. Anyone reading this know it's a long long haul.

It must be absolutely miserable to be him.

WH


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
job Offline
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
Gosh, he's still nuttier than a fruitcake! I guess the beret has gotten entirely too tight and his brain cells are squeaking.

Hey, he's finding out what the consequences of his actions are bringing down around him. His debts are not your problem. The judicial system is getting tired of his whining and playing victim, i.e., poor me.

No one would want to be in his shoes. He's is one miserable man and he's going to be stuck in that rut for a long time.

So, how are things going in other areas of your life? How are the children?


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2731384 02/22/17 03:19 PM
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,910
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,910
Thanks Job. Always good to hear from you! Always look forward to your voice of reason!

Wedding plans are going well. Weddings are expensive...even small weddings. It's gonna be really nice. The kids are excited!

S is getting straight A's and is in the highest choir and band level at this high school and he's also in the top 23% of his class. I am so proud of that boy I could burst!

D is growing into a true beauty inside and out. She is very wise beyond her years and loves science and math. She sings like a bird and is going to be a very talented musician one day.

S tolerates being with his dad. Their relationship is better, but still strained and I'm afraid it always will be.

D is still a daddy's girl but unfortunately she's starting to see through the cracks. She doesn't like being around OW and her kids. OW recently had her 7th back surgery and still doesn't work and kind of treats D like her own personal nurse. It's kind of disturbing.

I wish I could do something about their situation but I just try to take life one day at a time.

WH


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
job Offline
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
I'm glad to read that the children are growing by leaps and bounds and are doing well in school. I'm sorry that their father is such a pita...but as they continue to grow up, they will begin to notice things that just don't click w/their father and what he says and does. It's really a shame.

Now, his comments are more revealing...the wedding has got his knickers in a bunch/twist. He's miserable at home and he doesn't want to see you happy and more importantly married. He figures if he threatens about the support money enough, you'll stay single and he will have you right where he wants you. Can you say "control"? He's lost the plot and doesn't understand that he's lost all control over what you say, do and basically life in total.

Continue as you have been. It's been a heck of a ride for you, but you've come a long way and it looks like things will get so much better for you and the children soon.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2731387 02/22/17 03:40 PM
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,910
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,910
Ugh the thought of that fool wanting to maintain control over me and not wanting me to remarry is absolutely nauseating. He has his OW who is so wonderful and caring and unselfish. They are absolutely two peas in a pod. Despicable.

Unfortunately, after all I have been through I still can't shake the reaction I get when talking to him. And all the time he acts like he's doing me a favor. Like it won't be him who makes the decision to pay him retroactive support...it will be my fault and the court's fault, not his. He is truly delusional.

I'm tired of this ride. LOL. I am ready to switch to a ride that's a little less bumpy.

WH


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,910
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,910
This just in: a lawyer advised me that while anything is possible in a de novo hearing, it is generally unlikely that he will change the commissioner's decision and make me pay back all the maintenance I have received since last September. Makes me feel better, but I still wish this guy would take a flying leap. He is absolutely exhausting.

Eight more years of this stuff until D is 18. Then I will tell him to take a flying leap!

WH


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
K
kml Offline
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,913
Likes: 316
Ugh. I am still biting my tongue as my ex is helping with S26's college. I imagine by the time I am actually free to say what I think it won't be worth it anymore.

Seven back surgeries???? OW is a mess, isn't she? There's almost never an indication for that many surgeries. Your ex really won the lottery there, so he's jealous when he sees you having a good life.

kml #2731572 02/23/17 01:12 PM
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,910
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,910
I highly doubt X will contribute anything to either kids' college education. He will be singing his poor poor me pity song until they carry him out out in a box.

OW is something else. I don't know exactly how to put her into words, but she's unreal for sure. She was in the back of the court room when X was grilling me just shaking her head and wagging her finger. I wish I would have done a mic drop when the court commissioner announced her decision.

He will be taking care of her for as long as he can tolerate being married to her, which will probably be as long as her father keeps feeding them money.

WH


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
Page 9 of 10 1 2 7 8 9 10

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard