On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Sorry Altair. Remember, thes are his issues and his poor coping skills. No one can heal those wounds for him.
Thinking of you. Take care of you.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
Thank you all. Job, I do wonder about your optimism. Why do you think this isn't over? I think I need to just keep my head held high and keep DBing, in the best way that I can.
me 42 H 32 T 7yr M 6yr BD 5/2016 ILYBNILWY Separated 7/2016
Hi Coly, he is running but away from me, to a good job though. Just I'm not a part of this transition. we had coffee today to talk about a few paperwork things. He was kind, not once snippy or defensive. Just tired and sick, he said he was up most of the night, couldn't sleep. We talked about all sorts of things, current and future job, he asked about me. It was pleasant and not forced. He gave me a hug at the end. So, on my end I need to not read into a single thing, and keep those expectations super low. He asked to see me next week. I guess I need to think about if/how often to see him till he leaves.
me 42 H 32 T 7yr M 6yr BD 5/2016 ILYBNILWY Separated 7/2016
You are the one driving your bus. You are the only one that can determine how often you want to see him before he leaves. Does seeing him bother you?
BTW, your description of him definitely sounds like depression. They can't sleep and they get sickly. He may be running away, but his issues will be right there w/him. I wouldn't be surprised if he moves/leaves that job after a while and goes somewhere else (again).
How are you doing? Keep the focus on you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hi all, just a bit of journaling. Had a few drinks the other night with H, a lot of fun. Laughing and joking and he brought up a lot of good memories we shared.
He spent the night. The next day he left stuff here so I brought it over and he told me he loved me but he needed to start pulling away from me before he leaves. How there was just things in our relationship that he wanted to fix and we didn't and now after he left and gave up is when I changed and it is now too late. How I should date and how he wants to date when he gets there. Went on this whole thing about how I'm one of the most interesting, wonderful beautiful person he's ever met but in all his therapy work he realized I'm not the right person for him. Brought up his MLC. I listened as usual (I actually don't really know what to say most of the time). I did say that no, now I am not going to date. I'm going to work on myself for now. That seemed to throw him a bit off. We are going to make an appointment for D paperwork soon. He wants his 'clean slate' taken care of before he leaves. I'm sad, but, he is running and I will let him run.
Last edited by job; 03/11/1704:09 PM. Reason: Added spacing between paragraphs
me 42 H 32 T 7yr M 6yr BD 5/2016 ILYBNILWY Separated 7/2016
Well, he sounds like a MLCer still lost in the "fog". He has said the typical mumbo jumbo that they all say. He doesn't have any other reason to do what he's doing but to say that things didn't change/get fixed until it was too late.
Just listen and say "h, I'm sorry you feel that way" and carry on w/your life. You gave him an excellent answer about not dating and working on yourself.
Hang in there...he's got a lot of growing up to do and come to realize that life isn't greener on the other side of the fence.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
He has a lot of work to do (so do I, but different work) He still obviously thinks he wasn't happy in the relationship, and/or I did not make him happy. Minimally, I know the happiness has to come from within.
He has a lot of not-so-green grass to wade through as I see it, a lot of growing up to do (or not). Emotional growing up for sure. I'm sad but I have supportive and loving friends, good health, a good set-up, a not-ugly at all D looming on the horizon.
In weird MLC-land, he is getting my car fixed and new tires this week, giving me all of the tax return, offered me more $ over and above what we already agreed upon, will pay for D, and tells me he still loves me and always will. And says he needs to "start pulling away more."
So, just trying to take one day at a time. I have beautiful yellow tulips on my table (inspired by AP's flower runs). They certainly brighten up the room (and my day).
me 42 H 32 T 7yr M 6yr BD 5/2016 ILYBNILWY Separated 7/2016
