You might want to add a signature to your account with your info. How long you have been together, married, when she dropped the bomb and if you have any kids.
You also might want to make a post about some of your marital history. Were you failing on your part in any way? Did you fall into a rut and stop listening to her or stop being as attentive to her as you should be? Things like that will allow others here to better help you.
Yes hit a life slump was unhappy st work and sole provider. I feel she cut back on intimacies and she thought I was emotionally unavailable.
I recognize my faults and am working on changing for both our sakes, I rejected social life for a while to get in a secure position financially and I'm finally there and then bam this happens
We booked into Marriage counseling and did one session where she just attacked me and then we left and have not been back since as she told me she was not interested and didn't get anything out of it.
Did she tell you why she was so unhappy in your M? Are they things that you believe you can fix?
She had felt like I was emotionally unavailable, sex life started to dwindle which made me feel very rejected and it progressed from there
Yes I believe I can fix it all, I recognize a lot of the problems and need to fix them regardless.
That's the most frustrating part for me is that the first I hear of a problem and its game over with no chance of working on it after 12 years of Marriage. She told me she had tried to talk to me many times but all i heard was criticism and nagging.
Yes I believe I can fix it all, I recognize a lot of the problems and need to fix them regardless.
CM,
You are operating on your mindset, not hers. There isn't any fixing it all. The best you can do is work on yourself.
Quote:
That's the most frustrating part for me is that the first I hear of a problem and its game over with no chance of working on it after 12 years of Marriage. She told me she had tried to talk to me many times but all i heard was criticism and nagging.
Speaking from personal experience, the flags were there. It's just that we didn't want to or didn't know how to see them. The decision to leave after 12 years of marriage isn't made over night - it was a long time coming.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Yes I believe I can fix it all, I recognize a lot of the problems and need to fix them regardless.
CM,
You are operating on your mindset, not hers. There isn't any fixing it all. The best you can do is work on yourself.
Quote:
That's the most frustrating part for me is that the first I hear of a problem and its game over with no chance of working on it after 12 years of Marriage. She told me she had tried to talk to me many times but all i heard was criticism and nagging.
Speaking from personal experience, the flags were there. It's just that we didn't want to or didn't know how to see them. The decision to leave after 12 years of marriage isn't made over night - it was a long time coming.
Thanks and I understand that I just wished I would have seen it earlier. Regarding fixing I was talking about myself and my past mind set and attitude.
Yes I believe I can fix it all, I recognize a lot of the problems and need to fix them regardless.
The only person you should be trying to FIX is yourself.
Not the relationship and not her.
To Clarify I did mean myself, lots of things I can change which will result in happier me and being in a better place for the children. I have been seeing a counselor but feel like end of road with this one and switching to another next week who specializes in men
