Just popping in to journal and I also have a "what would you do" question.
I was supposed to be in court this week to comply with one of ex's motions to compel. It was an assanine motion actually..my lawyer had never seen anyone do this before. His lawyer finally dropped it at the 11th hour the day before court. Ugh. Thank goodness.
With that, no further movement on the D. We are having a hard time agreeing on a forensic accountant so there's no movement in finalizing the valuation of everything. Once that is done, we can move forward with negotiations.
All in all, I continue to be doing well. I recently was promoted at my job and took on a new bucket of work which is awesome! I LOVE it. I now oversee some of my company's wellness programs. Which is cool because it's something I've learned to embody over the last couple years. My goal is to be a role model for living and leading a balanced mind-body-spirit in the workplace. I owe my new reputation to DBing! My 60 day fitness challenge ends next Saturday so I'm in the home stretch. I need to find something to fill the 6 week gap before the next challenge (yep, I'm going back for round 2!). Was thinking of training for another triathlon in May and maybe be ready for another full marathon in June. Must keep busy!!!
Ex's bday is next week and next week also marks 2 years since ILYB. It's unbelievable how time changes everything.
So my question.... He's still holding my dog hostage and the only way I can get access is to file a motion demanding him to share. Things are so uneasy right now and I don't want to rock the boat, but I am dying to see my pup. I have a fear that a judge will think I haven't worked hard enough to see the dog if I don't file and therefore will give custody to ex. (In my state, dogs are treated like children, though there is no formal law about mandatory sharing). Do I rock the boat and intentionally make things uglier in this D?
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
What do YOU want, Pax? This is your fur baby, right? Some things are worth fighting for without worrying about him. Your decision ...all you. His histrionics and legal motions aside, what is right for you?
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
I agree...what is it you want? Do you want to see your dog and have visits w/the pup? Then I would advise my lawyer that if your h doesn't allow you to see your dog by a certain time, you will be filing a motion. The message needs to get to your spouse that you aren't playing here and want to have some time w/your pet.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Yes, know what you want and go for it. Let's face it, can it get uglier? We have NO control over our WAS/MLCer. We have total control over ourselves and making sure our interests are best served.
File the motion is my vote. xo
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
As above do what you want. I miss my dog everyday, so I will say got for it. Congratulations on your new promotion. You really sound in a good place and I'm so proud of you.
One thing I'm struggling is how can you not eat cheese? :-) I come from a region in France where we have a lot of cheese. I'd die if I had to stop eating it! Over my dead body is what I would say! Hahahaha :-).
Thank you all! Yep, you're right.... I MUST stop people pleasing just to keep the peace.
I know what I need to do.
Rouky.... Ohhhh the cheese! I would be in heaven if I was in your region. I am always looking up wine and cheese tours over there! It's been a rough challenge, but it's only me against myself and if I really want a healthy lifestyle, I have to try! I actually had an unhealthy relationship with cheese. In truth, I probably consumed a pound a week!!!! Not good for my health, but it's so darn good. I used to joke that I was made of cheese!
Thank you all again. Xoxox
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
Just dropping by Pax to see how you are doing and to say that I agree with everyone else. What have you got to lose now by asking for what you want....
On the cheese front. I love cheese too but I'm embarrassed to say only the mildest cheeses will do for me.... :0)
Me - 47 H - 45 D-16 M - 6 years Separated - May 16
Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')
Hi Pax, I agree with others, in that if you would like to see your pup, I would calmly include those arrangements into the current process.
I guess the only longer term downside of this is that seeing pup would mean seeing your H. So, have a think about whether this will work for you going forwards. In my sitch, it has been beneficial not to see XH at all and I count my blessings for that...
Hope you're having a lovely weekend :)xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I'm going to join in with Sotto regarding contact with ex. I'm a way lot better when I have no contact with him, so like Sotto said have a think about it.
Do you have a "doggy daycare" type situation nearby? If the worry is contact with H, maybe you can have pre-arranged dates where pup is dropped there by him and then you come later to pick him up, or vice-versa. Then there is relatively no contact and dates/ arrangements can be done through e-mail.
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
