Spoke to my lawyer and he is going to do a background check. Says that if anything comes up we will take legal action to ensure the kid's safety.
Last night I met with her to do our taxes. She arrived late, but the apt went quick and smoothly. The funny part about it was the fact that she avoided me like the plague. I spoke kindly and kept any conversation about the kids, but she was so cold and short with me. It is funny how my WAW who had a PA looks at me like I am the source of her pain. After the meeting she couldn't get to her vehicle fast enough. She might as well ran to her car. It is like she needs to blame me to make her feel better about herself for ruining our marriage. Anyone else experience this from their WAS? Is this common?
M: 37 W: 36 T: 16 M: 11 D2: 8,3 PA: 2015 WAW: 2016 W Filed: 2017 2/07/2017 W officially dating OM2
Spoke to my lawyer and he is going to do a background check. Says that if anything comes up we will take legal action to ensure the kid's safety.
Last night I met with her to do our taxes. She arrived late, but the apt went quick and smoothly. The funny part about it was the fact that she avoided me like the plague. I spoke kindly and kept any conversation about the kids, but she was so cold and short with me. It is funny how my WAW who had a PA looks at me like I am the source of her pain. After the meeting she couldn't get to her vehicle fast enough. She might as well ran to her car. It is like she needs to blame me to make her feel better about herself for ruining our marriage. Anyone else experience this from their WAS? Is this common?
I think you did the right thing by going to your lawyer in regards to the OM and allowing your L to do the background check.
As far as your question about the craziness of our WAS. Yes, they do things that make no sense. My W flipped out when I started dating. Yet she was seeing someone else at the time. That reality of a big revelation to her.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
As far as your question about the craziness of our WAS. Yes, they do things that make no sense. My W flipped out when I started dating. Yet she was seeing someone else at the time. That reality of a big revelation to her.
It makes no sense to me that they are out living it up and expect us to sit at home all miserable. They get so angry that we actually go out and GAL. Like, they want us to feel the way they feel inside. After our taxes were done I went out with some friends and saw a local band and had a great time. I am not going to sit around feeling sorry for myself anymore for something she did. Yes, it pains me still that my marriage failed but I will move on from this and will no longer let her control my feelings. I don't deserve it and if this guy she is seeing turns out to have a violent criminal history then she has another thing coming.
M: 37 W: 36 T: 16 M: 11 D2: 8,3 PA: 2015 WAW: 2016 W Filed: 2017 2/07/2017 W officially dating OM2
It is funny how my WAW who had a PA looks at me like I am the source of her pain. After the meeting she couldn't get to her vehicle fast enough. She might as well ran to her car. It is like she needs to blame me to make her feel better about herself for ruining our marriage. Anyone else experience this from their WAS? Is this common?
You'll find that this is normal. They rewrite and blame...the will even come to believe their own re-written history and push it on everyone they see. So, don't be surprised if you start hearing some of it...
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Spoke to my lawyer and he is going to do a background check. Says that if anything comes up we will take legal action to ensure the kid's safety.
Last night I met with her to do our taxes. She arrived late, but the apt went quick and smoothly. The funny part about it was the fact that she avoided me like the plague. I spoke kindly and kept any conversation about the kids, but she was so cold and short with me. It is funny how my WAW who had a PA looks at me like I am the source of her pain. After the meeting she couldn't get to her vehicle fast enough. She might as well ran to her car. It is like she needs to blame me to make her feel better about herself for ruining our marriage. Anyone else experience this from their WAS? Is this common?
Same thing I've experienced with my W. A bitter, angry person returned from her out of town PA. They refuse to own what they did/hate themselves so they project it on us.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
After my W confessed her PA she told me that she spent countless nights in the bathtub crying. This didn't make me feel any better, but she soon changed her tone. She would later tell me that she hated the person she turned into and blamed me for that. Said that she felt horrible for betraying me, but wouldn't have if she wasn't so unhappy. Go figure, right! I just calmly told her that I can't make her do anything and it was her choice. Asked her if she was so unhappy then why not come talk to me first? Why go out and have a PA with OM?? Told her that it just shows me you truly didn't care about how it affected me. I love how, at first, she wanted to do anything to save our M then completely changed within a few weeks. She would tell me what a great husband/father I was and how much she loved me and would do anything to fix what she did. I have countless text messages and emails that tell the story, but now there are no more of those. Any text or email message I get is so cold and straight to the point of BD. How the hell do you go from loving someone so much to hating them within a week? If it isn't guilt and trying to make themselves feel better, then what is it?? This is the million dollar question for me and I fear that I will never have any closure.
I actually wish she would be more civil towards me just for the children's sake. No need to go through this D angry cause I know its just going to cause more pain for everyone.
M: 37 W: 36 T: 16 M: 11 D2: 8,3 PA: 2015 WAW: 2016 W Filed: 2017 2/07/2017 W officially dating OM2
It is funny how my WAW who had a PA looks at me like I am the source of her pain. After the meeting she couldn't get to her vehicle fast enough. She might as well ran to her car. It is like she needs to blame me to make her feel better about herself for ruining our marriage. Anyone else experience this from their WAS? Is this common?
Same exact thing happened to me after our therapist session on friday. And i have a very similar situation. As someone said, all WAWs follow the same script.
I did have one exception - she turned to me and said "im sorry i destroyed your life." I just looked at her.
M:39 W:36 - D1:2 D2:6 11/19/16 BD1: ILYBNILWY, EA/PA Dec/Jan: MC, pursuing, not DBing 1/11/17 BD2: W wants 1 month break 2/1/17: Divorce Remedy. Start DBing 2/17/17 BD3: W - separation to start D process
How the hell do you go from loving someone so much to hating them within a week? If it isn't guilt and trying to make themselves feel better, then what is it?? This is the million dollar question for me and I fear that I will never have any closure.
Don't expect closure because you won't ever truly get it. Within a week? Maybe her true colors were starting to come out. We all see and believe things that we want in order to satisfy our own mind - just as they lay blame and all unfairly, we may be looking through our own rose colored glasses and not seeing things for what they really are. That's the beauty - and hell - of not being able to read someone else's mind...we don't know what they are thinking when they tell us stuff - is it real or what we want to hear?
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
ahhh the beginning stages, as I've come to notice / read are all anger, hate, spew and re writing history.
"How the hell do you go from loving someone so much to hating them within a week?"-who really knows! it's crazy to us. I don't know that anyone ever gets an answer.
hang in there and good job on taking care of yourself and the kids!
