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#2730090 02/14/17 02:31 PM
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Old Thread: First Thread

Will do a short re-cap in a second


Me:33, WW:30
BD:12/14/16, EA
no children
Still together
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 105
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KCRoo Offline OP
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I screwed up the link please be patient.


Me:33, WW:30
BD:12/14/16, EA
no children
Still together
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 105
K
KCRoo Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 105


Me:33, WW:30
BD:12/14/16, EA
no children
Still together
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 105
K
KCRoo Offline OP
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OP Offline
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Posts: 105
there we go...update in a second


Me:33, WW:30
BD:12/14/16, EA
no children
Still together
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 105
K
KCRoo Offline OP
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So the last question I had in my last thread was:

Would you all recommend confronting my ww with the new recording... I wont tell her the truth on how I obtained them, but I have been thinking about them all day.

I remember that she was bragging to her friend that om2, showed her picture to his mom, and she was like she is very pretty.

Should I confront her, so she knows I know its not just a friendship, and that she was with him all weekend?


What would everyone say to confronting her?


Me:33, WW:30
BD:12/14/16, EA
no children
Still together
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 105
K
KCRoo Offline OP
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Well she called me again...I ended up telling her that everything she has told me was bs.

I told her about how om2 told her that if she was going to stay out that late, he would have taken her to doubletree instead of motel six...she said that it wasn't like that...I told her that she told her friend that is what he texted her.

That he said that he showed a picture to his family of her, and her mom said she was pretty.

How instead of getting coffee, she was at his house.

How she planned to meet up with him on Wednesday night since that was her free night.

How she made more money than I did, and divorce didn't scare her, and neither did dating a man that doesn't make a lot of money.

She tried to blame me for it. I told her I was recording a pod cast. Left it on.

She said that I cant get angry when I only see one side of the conversation. I told her that is all I needed to see. A married woman doesn't do that.

She hung up.


Me:33, WW:30
BD:12/14/16, EA
no children
Still together
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,666
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So, what did the confrontation accomplish? You told her what you know. Do you want to know what's next? She will continue playing phone tag and twisting the truth and make you think it's all your fault.

No more talks! You need to act.

She will probably be blowing up your phone, wanting to temp check you. I suggest you don't have anymore talks tonight, phone or otherwise. She will only lie and blame, b/c she is not ready to be a faithful W.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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I understand, now I need to do it. She already tried to call me once, but I was in a meeting, so I missed her call.


Me:33, WW:30
BD:12/14/16, EA
no children
Still together
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,666
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You do not have to give her an explanation of why you aren't taking her calls. Look, she knows very well why you wouldn't want to talk. If you say anything, just text that you don't want to talk......and then leave it alone.

Unless she tells you she has ended the affair and is ready to do anything to save the MR.......what's to talk about?


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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KCRoo Offline OP
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Well she called my work line, so I took her call. I didn't want to but if I don't answer my paralegal or secretary will, and I don't really want them knowing what is going on.

At first she said that she was not going to go out tonight (her and her friends call it wine Wednesday). That she needs to start respecting my wishes, and working on us.

She then told me that she had spoken with her mother about what had been going on this week. She said that her mother told her that married women do not go out and give their phone numbers to random guys that they drunkenly met. She told me how she explained to her mom, that she was that unhappy in our marriage and that is why she did that. She said that her mom could then see her point.

I didn't respond. She said that she wanted to go out tonight. I told her that is her deal. She then told me that she was not happy. She didn't know why, but she was unhappy. That most of our problems were caused by her, but that I contributed to some of her unhappiness.

She then asked how comes I didn't want to go out and drink every night like she did. I told her that I have to think in my job, and cant be hung over (as soon as they left my mouth I regretted it). She started to say so you think I don't have to think for my job. I said no, I know you do. My job consists of me sitting behind my computer all day; reading, writing, and thinking.

She then said it is not like she gets drunk all the time. She then back tracked, and said she knows she did for a couple of weeks, but that she just likes to go out.

I then reminded her (at some point over the last month or two, she told me that her biggest fear is that we would not get back to like it was a year ago) that a year ago she was not going out all the time, and that if that was truly her biggest fear, then she needed to stop going out all the time.

She started to yell. I told her that I understand this is very important to her, but that I was not yelling at her, so she is to not yell at me. If she continued to yell, we would have this talk later. She calmed down, and said she was not happy.

I told her goodbye.


Me:33, WW:30
BD:12/14/16, EA
no children
Still together
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