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Cadet #2729915 02/13/17 02:57 PM
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maly Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: Cadet
Originally Posted By: maly
Hi everyone,I'm wondering,my w seems to have gone thru the first 3 stagers,but no sign of the others,she is still in replay with om ,but It seems to be taking a long time for the other stagers to kick in,or is it possible they will not go thru the other stagers,it would be great if you cauld,help me with this,and to see if job ,Sandi,could give me some advice,

Hmmm - I just spent some time looking at my welcome post which apparently has changed a little over the years.

This used to be in it
Originally Posted By: Cadet
The stages of MLC are a template which can only be laid over an MLCer's experience retrospectively.
It's impossible to see the pattern until it has finished being laid or the crisis is complete.(nickel Cyrena).
So do not be too concerned where your MLC'er is in this process.(Although my general guess is that they are in REPLAY)

There are certainly MLC'ers around that never complete Replay,
and we have thrown around numbers of 3-7 years,
although I can tell you that my ex seems to still be in the tunnel and I am almost at 8 years.
Job will tell you that her ex is also in the tunnel and I think she started posting here in 1999, so yes TIME can be VERY long and it is best to not waste it.

I certainly started out as a big stage watcher.
However the longer this goes on the more I agree that it is a
huge waste of time.

Most people posting here have spouses in REPLAY, so welcome to the club.


Thanx cadet,1999 wow,it all looks bleak to me,I think my hopes of her making it thru are going down,she had a simler crises about 20 years ago ,got up one morning and she was gone,she was saying things same as she is now,but on that occasion other was no om,and she returned after about six months,


Me 56 w52
M30 years
4x adult kids
W dad died/11
W wanted d 03/12
In-house sep 03/12
D 2014 I pushed
W Left on 02/16 I pushed
Pa on 07/16
Nc after 07/16
W Cakeating 15to16
Me doormat 12to16
Limbo 12to16
maly #2729917 02/13/17 03:05 PM
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We all deal w/the quarter life crisis, i.e., 20,30, etc. If we don't navigate those quarter life ones, we eventually will have the one called MLC. Each quarter life crisis helps us grow and learn, as well as mature. People who don't navigate them have poor coping skills as well.

Some of us have been dealing w/the fall out of our spouses' MLC for a number of years. No one can predict just how long that they will last, some are short, others are longer and then there are those who remain stuck in the childhood/teen years. There are a few out there that you'll be able to spot if you watch closely. Look at the 50, 60, 70 and some 80 years olds still dressing like they are 16/20 somethings and people just nod, point and chuckle about how they look and are behaving. It's very sad to know that they are stuck and look so foolish to everyone else in the room.

For now, you need to keep the focus on you, protect your assets and live your life as if she won't return. There is no way to predict the outcome of your situation at this time...but if you sit quietly and be patient, the answers will reveal themselves to you.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2729944 02/14/17 12:22 AM
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Originally Posted By: job
We all deal w/the quarter life crisis, i.e., 20,30, etc. If we don't navigate those quarter life ones, we eventually will have the one called MLC. Each quarter life crisis helps us grow and learn, as well as mature. People who don't navigate them have poor coping skills as well.

Some of us have been dealing w/the fall out of our spouses' MLC for a number of years. No one can predict just how long that they will last, some are short, others are longer and then there are those who remain stuck in the childhood/teen years. There are a few out there that you'll be able to spot if you watch closely. Look at the 50, 60, 70 and some 80 years olds still dressing like they are 16/20 somethings and people just nod, point and chuckle about how they look and are behaving. It's very sad to know that they are stuck and look so foolish to everyone else in the room.

For now, you need to keep the focus on you, protect your assets and live your life as if she won't return. There is no way to predict the outcome of your situation at this time...but if you sit quietly and be patient, the answers will reveal themselves to you.


Thank you job,before I started learning about mlc I did not know it even excisted, but now I can see it every where,and I can see that a lot of breakups I've seen in my passed was to do with mlc,its such an horrible thing and hurts so many family's,

I don't know if this makes things any worse but I do know my wife is in the middle of menopause to,

Last edited by job; 02/14/17 05:52 AM. Reason: Added spacing between paragraphs

Me 56 w52
M30 years
4x adult kids
W dad died/11
W wanted d 03/12
In-house sep 03/12
D 2014 I pushed
W Left on 02/16 I pushed
Pa on 07/16
Nc after 07/16
W Cakeating 15to16
Me doormat 12to16
Limbo 12to16
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