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#2729777 02/13/17 02:31 AM
Joined: Dec 2008
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Hello everyone! It's been a very long time since I have posted. My divorce was almost 9 years ago....wow, hard to believe sometimes. For the new posters, I don't know if my old posts are even here anymore. Just wanted to stop in to see how everyone wa doing. I do come back and read from time to time. A lot of great people here. People that helped me thru a very very rough time in my life. Some have passed away and I will forever hold them in a Special place in my heart. Some are still here passing along their wisdom and experience to others.

As some of you may know, not only did my ex h walk away, so did my son (18 at the time). I had a very tough time with my son leaving. Things have changed and I wanted to come back to post in case anyone us going thru something similar with their children.

My son left shortly after his dad did. Son is our only child. The longer son stayed with his dad, the less he communicated with me. Finally he stopped all contact. I went almost two years without getting to talk or see my son. My ex made him believe I was crazy and this was All MY fault , even though ex was the one who cheated and left.

People here told me my son would get back. I didn't believe them. I was hopeless. All I could do was pray.

Around 2011 I got to talk with my son and for a few years saw him off and on, when he would allow me to meet him. My son eventually moved out on his own bad things started slowly improving.

I now have a Wonderful relationship with my 26 year old son, whom is married and expecting his first child......my First Grandson!
I am excited beyond words!

I am so Thankful to the good people here who kept my spirits up and most of all to the good Lord above who never failed me or left my side thru it all.

In these 9 years since my divorce, I have grown to be very independent. I was never before. I also have learned so much about myself. I found I have so much more strength than I gave myself credit for. I also learned to enjoy my time getting to know me! But most of all I have learned to love ME!

I haven't spoken to my ex in several years. As far as I know he is still angry with me. That anger he developed toward me in the beginning is still there after 9 years! He must be so miserable holding onto that anger.

Ex is a alcoholic from what my son says. ( something that changed when he left. He use to never drink). He now drinks daily from what I hear.

Son says his dad spends a lot of money keeping his new wife happy. Expensive cars and trips, etc. (totally opposite of our lifestyle when married)

Just some examples of how he changed.
The saddest part of all this is that Our Son now no longer has a relationship with his Dad.

Son doesn't even want to speak with his dad. I don't try to interfere with that, but I have mentioned a couple times to son that he needed to go see his dad or at least call. That's all I can do, it's up to him. I just don't want our son to hold onto any bitterness toward his dad.

That's about all for now. As for me and my love life......well lol....there isn't one right now. I dated the first few years but haven't been on a date in a long while. It gets lonely at times. I am trying to let God lead the way. I don't want to go searching. Didn't work out for me last time lol.
I do go out with friends, it just hadn't happened for me yet.

Again I hope all of you are well and to the ones that helped me thru thus crazy cycle of life, I will always be grateful for you. I hold u close to my heart. Hugs!


Renee

Last edited by job; 02/13/17 06:09 AM. Reason: Added spacing between paragraphs

_________________________________________
M:42
H:40
S:18
M:20yrs/together 21yrs
Bomb:9/08 ILYBNILWY
Sep:9/18/08 "ow" :25
Filed:11/18/08
D:12/8/08
M:Different 26 yr. old 7/09.
Newborn 4/10
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
job Offline
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Renee!

What a surprise to come here this morning and see that you've posted an update. Welcome back!

It's hard to believe it's been 9 years ago that you were struggling w/your xh and son. It took a long time for your son to see the light, but I'm glad he finally did and came to realize that you weren't crazy, but a mom who was fighting to have a relationship w/her only child.

Congratulations on becoming a grandmother! I'm sure you will get many opportunities to be w/the little one when he/she arrives into the world. Cherish those memories and be sure to take a lot of photos!

So, tell us what you are doing for you these days? Are you working? What are you doing in the way of hobbies and activities?

Renee, I'm glad you returned...don't be a stranger. There are many here that need to see that there is a life after divorce and that we can pick up the pieces and move on in a successful manner. As we have said before, it all takes time and we have to learn to be patient and not rush the process.

Take care!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Joined: Nov 2016
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Thanks for visiting from the other side. I have teenagers and really wonder how D will affect our relationship. I'm so glad things turned out well for you on that front and for the reminder it may take a while to get there.


Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving

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