So just a quick update. I was here on the boards back in 2013. Like most I was distraught about losing such an amazing woman. For years I neglected and laid waste to my relationship. I won't take you through all the details they are littered throughout the boards. She left(ILBNIWY). I made a decision that I wanted to save my marriage. I found DB I went on a journey that I'd never forget.
I started out this journey consuming anything I could just to maintain my sanity. I cycled through daily emotions of high's to extreme lows 20min after the high. She told me there was no chance we would ever be together and that's when my mission went from getting her back to getting me back. Personal growth became an addiction for me and I made huge strides. And a year later guess what? The woman who said she'd never return did. (There are many in between false alarms/starts). For the past 4 years everything was great because I felt like as a byproduct of my growth she returned.
Now this is where is gets interesting, while I grew in that time period, she did not. And for the past few years I have communicated my perspective on our relationship with only the clarity a person who's been through the fire can explain. Now I sit as a man who is on the brink of saying ILB this isn't working for me anymore... It's not a question of love, I love her dearly. I have redefined what marriage/relationships mean to me. Not through the social constructs that have been embedded in our senses and thought process, but what is important for me.
I guess what I'm rally trying to convey here is, grow! We do not NEED anyone, it's the choice that makes it beautiful. We are already whole beings without another individual, they are just the cherry on top. I hope this can be of help to someone who is struggling today. Focus on you and the rest will follow...
ME: 35 W: 34 M 2 years, together 6 Galatians 6:9