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job #2743987 05/20/17 10:41 AM
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Westo Offline OP
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His reply,

Hi Westo,

I remember you saying about your nipple quite a while ago, hopefully then it will be sorted and all will be fine I hope, are you sorted to go to the appointment, if you want me to pick you up I will if you like.

My operation was ok but it had gone quite big by time it got done and I got a 6 inch scar as he had to cut it open instead of the key hole operation I was told it would have been, it still aches and it still all numb but I expect that is normal as they said it could take 6 months to heal properly.

Anyway bye for now and hope everything works out ok for you.

Regards
H

Wow, that last line floored me!

I replied saying just that, and he answered this morning saying, on reading it back, it was a poor choice of words and he meant he hoped the appointment goes well, not in general.

How could he offer to take me, then add the last line, like the offer had been withdrawn, all in the same email?!

Like Job always says.....keep your expectations go zero!

Westo #2744011 05/20/17 04:01 PM
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And one other thing that I think she says "don't try to understand crazy" ...

You'll be happy to know that I was out visiting my "much" younger brother and practiced cwtch on my 1 year old nephew. He seemed pleased with the results. I'm a few years older than you and your H I believe but without grandchildren so it's nice of my brother to let me practice on his wee lad.

Gather around yourself those you can count on. You will get through this on your own strength and with the help of those people. You are in my thoughts and I am sure those of many other people here who care about you.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
AndrewP #2744043 05/21/17 05:05 AM
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Hi Andrew,

Oh there's nothing like a cwtch with a baby! Yes, I agree I will get through this, but I really hope H will be a support to our kids.

That's all I care about, I worry for them and our little GD. She is going to need him if anything happens to me. Poor thing has been through enough in the last year or so.

I'm older than you, 56 next month wink

Westo #2744062 05/21/17 08:36 AM
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Just want you to know I am thinking of you. Focus on you and do all that you need to do when you need to do it. As mothers we tend to put ourselves on the back burner as we do all we can for our kids. Put yourself first.

Sending positive thoughts your way.


Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced
HaWho #2744201 05/22/17 11:23 AM
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Thank you HaWho, and I agree with you, but I HAVE to think there is a reason for this cancer, it's the only way I can cope.

Update,

Wow.......I'm still trying to calm down.

D texted H, she said she wants to discuss GD. He turned up and GS, who he hasn't seen since he was three months old, took to H straight away and behaved beautifully. He to.d D that he misses us all and welled up when he said it.

When H got in his car he rang me and asked if he could call, D lives opposite me. I had made sure I was made up and dressed nice, incase he did. I answered the call saying it was up to him, so he did.

It was surreal......although he rambled about work and himself (a lot) he was definitely back to his old self. Spark back in his eyes and his sense of humour.

I behaved, like someone you would be mad to leave. He was met with a very different woman. I could see he was really checking me out while I made the tea and commented how well I look and how much weight he's gained.

I made sure I listened (even though I was rather bored) and made eye contact all the time.

He told me he had googled breast cancer and thought it was simply remove the lump and all will be fine and that his mum was exaggerating......he's in denial.

He said that he had past here a couple of times and once, after a night shift, he had forgotten that he no longer lived here and had pulled up at our garage before realising at 4 am.

He told me that the R with the OW isn't what I think ( I butted in saying "hey you don't need to explain to me") and that he was using her in a way, paying a weekly amount to house share.

He is going to fix the toilet and the loose slabs I have and he is going to take GD to the park on Saturday. On leaving D was outside her house and asked if he wanted to see GD there and then, which he did.

She ran into his arms....it was so moving. He was close to tears, he was quite a few times with me too.

Anyway he said he would see me Saturday and he told GD that he will take her to the park every week.

I will sleep well tonight. I just want GD to have her papa back smile

Westo #2744266 05/22/17 06:38 PM
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Westo, so happy for you that the grandkids had their papa today. I hope he keeps up with his intention. Baby steps.

OwnIt #2744277 05/22/17 10:16 PM
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Hey Westo! What a lovely update, I'm so glad your H is reconnecting with his GK's. It's just a shame it has taken for there to be a serious issue with your health for him to get his head out of his a&&!!

Interesting that felt the need to justify his relationship with OW..... Mmmm....

Glad AP is taking the cwtch to Canada!!! Today Canada, tomorrow the world!! Wahahaha!!!

(((West)))


Me - 47
H - 45
D-16
M - 6 years
Separated - May 16

Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')
Coly23 #2744346 05/23/17 10:35 AM
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I got this email this morning,

Hi Westo,

It was good to be able to talk to you yesterday after such a long time, although it was difficult not to embrace you, I hope to call again on Saturday if that's ok as I need to find the car documents if I can.

Also I am still available if you wanted me to come with you later today if you wish as I am also worried about D having to go in with you today, also are you sure her car is ok to go there with her brakes making noises like she said yesterday, anyway just let me know if you change your mind or just want a lift for you both.

H

So I said ok, it would be great if you could take us. And so he did. He wanted to come in with me to see the consultant but D was adamant she wanted to, she has become very protective of me and has been my support since he left.

He ended up taking GS for a walk while we were with the doctor. On leaving he kept touching my arm and base of my back. It actually got on D's nerves like he was some superhero to save the day!

Anyway, I have a 'bog standard" breast cancer which is treatable by a lumpectomy or mastectomy.

It is entirely up to me. So I have an awful lot of thinking to do. H was quite vocal in trying so sway me to just have the lumpectomy, which wound D up even more!

He came in for a quick cup of tea, and hugged me on leaving and I thanked him for taking us.

What an emotional week it's been, for all of us, I believe!

Westo #2744352 05/23/17 11:43 AM
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Hey Westo, I'm glad H has stepped up to the plate to support you but I can see why your D was very protective over you. It must have put his nose out of joint somewhat to realise he has lost his place in the family.

I am also relieved that the lump is treatable but I can see that it might be a difficult decision to make as to which treatment is right for you. IMHO, your H shouldn't have even given an opinion so I can see why it wound your D up! It seems he has made an entrance and expects everyone to be the same as before he left but little does he know that his leaving has probably changed you all.

Take care ((Westo))).


Me - 47
H - 45
D-16
M - 6 years
Separated - May 16

Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')
Coly23 #2744355 05/23/17 12:18 PM
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Yes Coly, you are right.

I didn't actually want or need him there, I accepted his lift only to save D from driving to a city centre and finding a place to park.

I also did it for H.....I can see he has an awful lot of guilt and if he stepping up to the plate helps with this and his journey out of the tunnel, then no harm done.

He has to do all the work here.......I'm just being a princess on a pedestal.

I am so proud of myself, and I think it would be a totally different sitch if I hadn't discovered this forum.

Priceless advice. He must be thinking the old be has been abducted by aliens and replaced!

Love how Andrew has introduced the Cwtch in Canada too!

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