V, perhaps one day I will use it as toilet paper. For now, I stored it in a box of memories.
On a lighter, brighter maybe a bit confusing note, I was texting / joking with a friend, this friend said I was still legally married, it actually took me a second or two to reel it in and say to myself "oh yeahhhh I forgot I was still married"
guess that's good? I don't know, still feel a bit all over the place but I'll take what I can get.
Got served with Divorce papers this morning. I got a call from the receptionist, and I knew. the sheriff was waiting in the lobby, i said hello and extended my hand out. he chuckled and said "oh you were expecting this" I said "of course" and he handed the paperwork to me. I said thanks so much, he said bye and i walked back upstairs to my office. I was shaky at first. I felt mixed emotions. But came to some senses after talking it out, and reminding myself of the, the lying, cheating, and stealing she's done. I know this is what's best for ME. I have to respond, in which I’ll ask for my share of the equity in the home. We have a case hearing in may. I will have to ponder if I will show up or let my lawyer show up for me. I read the paperwork, STBXW is being self represented. She was kind enough to say I would be self represented, (wishful thinking perhaps?)
I feel good. I truly believe I’m ready to move forward and close this 6/7 year chapter in my book. I am truly saddened and hurt that my kind, loving, caring wife disappeared. Never to come back. However, I am happy to be riding myself of this negative, lying, crazy woman I am legally married to.
I'm sorry about that. My lawyer was the recipient of the divorce papers from my wife (now XW), but when I got the email from my lawyer, it still had some bite to it. I'm glad those days are over. Good luck to you as you move forward.
Sounds like you are taking this well. I am glad for that....you are a strong person and you have made a lot of changes to better yourself. You have a good support system and it's obvious what a great person you are....your W is a fool but you are right she is no longer the same person you married. (((Hugs)))). Keep posting we are here for you.
W:42 M:48 T:9 yrs M:1yr BD: Feb 2016 EA Confirmed: Feb 2016/PA July 2016 D: Feb 2017
Your W is out of her mind cheesyt. She has no clue the wonderful person she's pushing out of her life. You should be nothing but proud of the changes you've made and the life you've rebuilt for yourself. Never doubt that you are an amazing and strong person!
Know this has to be rough, but we are here for you. Stay strong cheesy!
Me39 M11 : T13 D9 BD 5/31/16 In House S until 6/21/17 Divorced 10/5/18
Was down most of the weekend. Just going through the motions of ok this is happening. I re activated my Facebook because a co worker said she’d tagged me in something to do on my vacation coming up. I logged back in and pulled up my wife. Sure enough we are still friends. I went through and deleted her, mil, bil, every single one of her friends. The only mutual friends we have now are MY family and MY friends. I am kind of mad, she gives me divorce papers but still wants to stay friends on social media? For what? To keep tabs on me? I’m very mad. You don’t get to turn my life upside down, treat me like dirt and then still keep some sort of “friendship” that’s bull!!!!!! I also saw she changed her profile picture. she’s still trying very hard to look “good” where she can’t take a normal picture without tilting her face a certain way so she looks “skinny” it’s annoying, because she never worried about that before. She looks how she looks and its ok. (for me at least) Also updated her whatever picture, its all her “family” with the SOW’s son in the pic. No SOW, guessing she’s taking the pic. I guess Wife had to explain who that manly woman was when she introduced them to the family. Part of me wanted to keep her on my friends list, just to rub it in her face, let her know I’m doing good too. Since I’ve stopped updating anything. But what will that gain me? Nothing. I’d be reacting to her. So that’s why I decided to cut it now.
I’m more mad at myself. I spent all weekend in this funk. Sad, hurt, crying, for what? for a strange woman who jumps from relationship to relationship without care in the world of the hurt or consequences. I see her picture and it’s not her…it’s a strange feeling. I am having a hard time separating these two people. The woman I married and this person. It’s what gets me. I think my Wife is still in there. It’s hard to mourn her when she’s physically still there. I want this Divorce to end already, part of me think’s it’s cus I’m trying to run from it. And perhaps I am? But at the same time the sooner it’s over, the sooner I can move on with my life. Idk. It’s almost as if I want to erase her from my mind, but I don’t think that’s healthy… Some questions that popped into my head over the weekend, When / will I ever stop missing my wife? How long until the pain and hurt of a failed marriage go away? Also, from what I remember, didn’t the book say it took like a year before they came out of the fog? I guess I have no clue, other than from the weird looking pics and her back and forth that my w is still in a fog. But like…it’s been a year…and nothing. I know it’s over…so when will I feel better?
Thanks doodler, hawk, V, LT. I know you guys are here for me and I truly appreciate it. I’m going to get through this and I am going to be okay.
I’ve been lacking in the galing. I’ve been falling into my patterns of staying home most of the day, working and running, and that’s it. Occasional going out with friends, nothing crazy. I decided I need to get back out there, my goal is to do one meet up a week again. It helps that winter is kind of over here so the hiking and outdoor meet ups are in full swing. Also my softball team is getting together soon for the new season. Excited for that. I really enjoy that.
I think mad is a good place to be at, for my sanity toward stbxw.
This sadness is bang on cue. It happens to all of us, absolutely totally normal. Not good as it comes with triggers.
There years in from BD and bang back it comes in a different guise to me.
I am always pleased when I see triggers creating action and the processing of emotion. I know recovery is slow for you, I read that you are determined that with WW it would have to be a reborn R. I also understand the stranger within concept as if a demon has possessed them. The one thing I have noticed is how the waywardness ages the wayward. Physically they become unrecognisable.
That makes it easier to loose the attraction. Waywardness is unattractive and hardens the facial features. No amount of posing disguises it.
You are doing great Cheesy.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
When I thought things couldn’t possibly get worse. I’ve had the worst night I’ve had ever. I had bad nights, especially when this whole thing started. But last night topped them all. No sleep, I feel sick, I wanted to throw up my whole body aches. It didn’t help I looked at her old fbook posts. They were all with me tagged, “i’m so thankful for cheesy” “happy birthday love” and some “I’m so spoiled” and we did this and that and I’m so happy. I mean…endless posts, 6 years worth of them. Just happy remainders of a happy marriage. How could she possibly re write our history?! It’s insane. For a while I thought she was right, though rationally I knew it was a lie. But seeing those kind of confirms it. I guess.. I finally fell asleep around 1am. Woke up around 330 and couldn’t fall asleep so finally at 4 am I went to the couch and turned on some netflix. My mind just wouldn’t stop. The limbo is over. Divorce is imminent. Nothing I can do or say will stop this. This is it.
I also had plenty of time to think what are some of the things / qualities I miss. Mainly, laughing so much before bed with W. some nights we just couldn’t stop laughing. She listened to everything, and though I have a great friends sometimes I feel like they don’t necessarily care to listen to what I have to say. Whereas my wife, well she’s my wife, she signed up to listen to all my nonsense. Also something I keep saying I miss are hugs, It dawned on me last night 80% of my hugs were from my D. My D would ALWAYS hug me / wife. Sometimes she’d just run inside to get water and would walk up to us and say “I love you” give us a hug and kiss and go back to her friends. I feel better writing this out. But I really really miss them. With every fiber of my being. I can feel it all over my body, it almost aches when I miss them. Idk. Its weird.
W sent me a calendar invite for D’s dentist appointment yesterday afternoon. I didn’t confirm or reach out, I know she’d say it was an “accident” again. I just ignored. It’s Bull. But I would like to think it was to get some sort of reaction out of me. Or for me to reach out. Which I didn’t. We haven’t talked in over a month. Longest we’ve gone. Perhaps that played a part in last nights personal struggle. Idk though.
I hope I don’t have many more of these nights, I’m exhausted. Hopefully though I’ll be so tired tonight I’ll sleep well.
First and foremost, delete her. Do this for your own sanity. Why continue to look at something that brings you nothing but pain?
Quote:
The limbo is over. Divorce is imminent. Nothing I can do or say will stop this. This is it.
It was limbo in your mind only because in hers, she was done long before. And yes, this is it. Now what are you going to do? Feel sorry for yourself or make yourself into the strongest cheesy you can?
Quote:
We haven’t talked in over a month
How do you communicate about your daughter?
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
