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ciluzen Offline OP
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Thanks Job! I actually meant "taking pictures down from the FEBRUARY venue" where they had been hanging all month (March on my mind).

I will make sure I find time to recharge...I still have a really big gift certificate to a local landmark hotel spa that I got from my real estate agent as a thank you when we sold our house. I may have to use that soon.

March has always been a special month for my family. My b-day, XH's b-day, and our anniversary. So now its just my b-day. However, I did find out this summer that my dog's b-day is on our anniversary, so now I have an alternative thing to celebrate (LOL). I almost want to send XH a text saying "Happy (dog's name)'s Birthday!" on that day...its also St. Patrick's day. I won't, but I secretly want to.


M-51 H-54
2D-27 and 25
M-26 yrs
Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15
He moved out 10-3-15
D filed 1-27-16
D final 10-27-16

Kindness, kindness, kindness.
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Happy birthday Cil! And Congrats on getting into the program !!! Yay!!! I knew you'd get in!!

Congrats on the great response to your February showing and the future booking and coaching Special Olympic soccer ... Lots of wonderful things in your life Cil and you deserve them smile xoxoxoxo. So proud of you and happy for you too xoxoxoxo


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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ciluzen Offline OP
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Thanks, Bttrfly! I am actually just feeling so grateful and happy. I had such an amazing day yesterday; full of love and fun and surprises (on my level...no jumping out of planes or anything).

Lots of hugs.

My friend ran in as my work partner and I sat down with our student. She had gotten me a "wet capuccino with cinnamon tossed in with the shot" and a pastry. She was so proud that she had gotten my coffee memorized, lol! So sweet!

My co-coach for basketball ordered a balloon bouquet from our student shop (run by special education students) and my whole team serenaded me the Happy Birthday song (opera style) as they delivered them and gave me hugs and lots of kisses. We were a bit rowdy and disruptive, I'm afraid.

Lots of gifts of favorite things (snacks and such) throughout the day and birthday wishes.

A fun trip to my friend's house after work to just chat, then on to a get together at a local pub/ hangout for appetizers and social time. There's a big sectional couch in the corner that we took over...just had a good time.

FIL called while I was working (no signal in my room) so I called after school. Usually he puts MIL on the phone, but I heard nothing from her and he was very vague as I asked after her. I have heard from my D26 that my BIL told her MIL no longer knows her name. So the Alzheimer's has progressed to this point. We used to spend hours talking when we'd visit. I can't even imagine what FIL is going through, but he sounded upbeat on the phone.

XH called while I was at my get together. He asked if I was "out and about" so I explained where I was and he seemed...relieved? He wished me a happy B-day, asked about our bank issue (I told him I was taking the day off from the issue) then wished me a Happy B again. D26 told me later that he was concerned that I wasn't doing anything and that it was a "big birthday". She told me that she explained to him that I had some amazing friends who loved me and that I was so busy that it was hard to schedule time with me. That's awesome! Go D26!

Funny thing is...its true. Nice that he worries that I'm sitting home alone sad and lonely (it happens), but I AM busy living life. I DO have friends who love me. And its hard to explain, but my former "friends" (social group) had no idea who I was, what I liked, or even seemed to care all that much. They didn't notice me or my habits. I'm amazed by the new people in my life. And so so very grateful.

I think 50 is my best birthdy ever.


M-51 H-54
2D-27 and 25
M-26 yrs
Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15
He moved out 10-3-15
D filed 1-27-16
D final 10-27-16

Kindness, kindness, kindness.
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Love that post, Cil!!

Happy Birthday!! I'm so glad you had a great day and it's so nice to hear that your 50th was your best birthday ever! Cheers to a happy and healthy year ahead! Xoxo


Me- 30's H- 40's
T-10 M-5
I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15
D filed by H: September 16
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Happy Bithday Cil!! Woo hoo!!! I loved reading the various ways you were celebrated.

Those small, very personal gestures sure do go a long way.

You are inspiration in so many ways. Rock on!!!


Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced
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Happy Birthday lovely lady, glad that it was filled with love and fun. Much Love JellyBxxx

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ciluzen Offline OP
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Pax, HaWho, and fabulous JellyB...thank you for the bday wishes! It was a very nice day/week. I really am grateful for the people in my life now. I have so much good happenning. I'm also learning that when something "bad" happens, I need to change the way I look at it, not dwell so much on how bad it is and then allow it to cause me stress.

Here's an example. I went to take my final exam for my pre-req class. I am proctored through the library next door on all of my tests and exams. I got all set up and the librarian/proctor entered the password the university had sent her...and it didn't work! We tried everything including calling the help line, but they were in another time zone and already closed for the evening. So, no test for me. I thought about it and decided...

I was being given the opportunity to study more. Maybe I wasn't as ready as I thought and the opportunity was being given to fix that. The "gift of time", if you will.

So, tying in to that thought...I went skiing yesterday. I had made plans to ski with my meetup group today, so I decided to go up alone yesterday for a light half-day. It was a beautiful blue sky day. I wondered if XH was headed up, as somehow I actually haven't seen him since he encountered my ski group.

I was there early and was able to be one of the first people on the lift. Its actually a big ski area with many lifts and multiple peaks and ridges, so I'm always amazed when I do run into XH. I realized that not much grooming had been done and most of the runs were ungroomed with heavy snow with a thin ice crust on top (it snowed snow the day and evening before then froze). I'm not so good at forging may way through that (some good skiers love it), so I was pretty challenged. I fell twice on one run.

I made my way to the lodge and saw XH putting his skis on. I threw caution and DB to the wind and smacked him in the leg with my ski pole. He had just gotten there. We ended up skiing all day and doing lunch and a beer break together. Usually I make a point in paying; this time he wouldn't allow it. He ALMOST allowed a compliment out as we were sking...about me skiing well. He cut it off- he makes a point of not complimenting me.

We talked, I listened. But I talked and asked questions, too. I learned a lot about what is going on in his family, at work, and listened to his "negativity" as he put it. He did say he heard I got in to my program and offered his congrats.

Anyway. It was nice to touch base for a bit, but man are my legs sore. Now I think today is going to have to be the half day of skiing.


M-51 H-54
2D-27 and 25
M-26 yrs
Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15
He moved out 10-3-15
D filed 1-27-16
D final 10-27-16

Kindness, kindness, kindness.
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So it seems like you guys don't make a point of seeing each other but if you do you are quite friendly. Is that what you want now?


Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
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Hi Ciluzen,

Its great that you bumped into your ex skiing and ended up having fun together. You are handling things great. Make the most out of the positives and letting the not so positives slide off. Not reading into things will take the pressure off yourself. Keep doing things things for yourself. You sound good and are on a good track for yourself right now.


Twisting on Life's Rope
Me53
W53
M20
D21 D19 D16
BD 2-2013
D final 1-2015
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Hi Cil, many belated happy returns and I'm glad you enjoyed your milestone birthday...I'm not too far behind you actually!!

Sounds like you and XH had a nice unexpected outing. I think the best part of it all is that you take it in your stride....and that is progress for any of us.

Again, the same with your test - more time to revise - Yay!!

Good for you and hope you have a great week.

Xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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